


Become Another Person

by purpleeyestelllies



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BDSM, Ball Sucking, Blow Jobs, Bruises, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Deepthroating, Degradation, Dom!Loki, Dom/sub, Dreamsharing, Face-Fucking, Fluff and Smut, Humiliation, Internal Conflict, M/M, Magic, Master!Loki, Master/Slave, Masturbation, Multi, Multiverse, Oral Sex, Power Dynamics, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Smut, Sort Of, Spanking, Teasing, Telepathy, Threesome - F/F/M, Training, Verbal Humiliation, Voyeurism, Watersports, slave!Clint, sub!clint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:04:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 59,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleeyestelllies/pseuds/purpleeyestelllies
Summary: In a universe parallel to our own, Clint and Loki are in a loving- if not kinky- committed relationship. While fighting the space shifting forces of evil, Loki encounters a Clint he never knew and must tread through this new dynamic to get back to the Clint he loves.*CURRENTLY UPDATING EVERY TUESDAY!*





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> A brand new fic, guys! I'll be uploading at regular intervals: weekly, bi-weekly, every few days- it depends on you guys and what you want. Enjoy xo
> 
> P.s. If anyone is interested, I am looking for someone to beta this fic with me as I write it.

 

 

"Morning, little bird," Loki whispered into Clint's ear as he looped an arm around his waist and pressed up against his back. Clint hummed, fully awake and alert instantly, but lazy and comfortable. Loki huffed a laugh when Clint didn't respond. He let his hand slide teasingly up Clint's side, across his arm, and around his neck where he squeezed and pulled Clint's head back towards his mouth. "When I speak, I expect an answer, darling."

Clint swallowed and felt his throat press against Loki's finger, groaning softly. "Good morning, babe," he wheezed out.

Loki's grip softened instantly, fingers going instead to stroke over his Adam's apple. "That's better." He fell onto his back, fingers sliding across Clint's collarbone and shoulder before disappearing and flopping onto the pillow next to his head. "Come," he ordered.

Clint didn't ignore him that time, turning over under the sheets and laying himself on Loki's chest. Loki hummed, pleased, and stroked his fingers through Clint's hair. Clint tucked an arm around Loki's slim chest, enjoying the coolness under Loki's skin on his bed-heated cheek. "I had a dream about you last night," Clint murmured.

Loki's attention perked up at that. "Did you? Do tell."

Clint settled more comfortably across Loki, one leg slipping between Loki's two solid thighs. "We were fighting." Loki made a concerned sound then, pulling Clint against him tighter. Clint only chuckled. "Don't worry, it gets better."

"Go on."

"It's like it was us but years ago, back when we first got together. Except you were still this you. I could tell. You were soft and strong and beautiful," he hid the word in Loki's chest, ignoring the rise of a blush on his neck. Loki rewarded his compliment with a firm scratch across his scalp, making Clint's eyes fall shut. 

"Keep talking," Loki told him.

"I...I was different. Like back when I hated you." Loki didn't tense up, didn't react to what used to be a sore subject, so long ago. "I was petulant and yelling a lot."

"Some things do not change." Clint huffed and sank his teeth into Loki's pec, which only caused the god to laugh softly and wrap a hand around Clint's hip to pull him more fully on top of his chest. 

"We were yelling about something...man, I can't remember, but then you got up in my space- you know, the way you used to when I wasn't listening to something really important."

Loki mumbled, "I recall."

"And you were looking at me that way you do."

Loki knew exactly what way he meant, but he asked anyway. "What way is that, little bird?"

"Oh!" Clint popped his head up. "You called me that, too. I did  _not_ like it."

Loki's brow furrowed. "I only call you that in private and you love it."

"I know, which is why this dream was so weird. I was so...anyway." He laid his head back down to take in the gentle rhythm of Loki's heart. "You were up in my face and I was so angry." He leaned his face into Loki's chest. "Then I just...kissed you." He accentuated the statement with a kiss to Loki's chest. "Angry and hard. I just smashed our faces together." They both laughed at that. 

"And I let you?" Loki awed.

"Not for long," Clint scoffed. "You let me just long enough to get out my anger and then you pressed me back against a wall and took over." 

Loki quirked up a brow. "Oh?" He slid his hand down to the curve of Clint's ass, just resting it to mark his territory. Clint nodded against his chest. 

"You didn't really touch me though, which was weird. You just put your hands on the wall by my head and kissed me really hard."

The black-haired man pulled Clint's hips down against his own as he rocked against him. "Is that all I did?"

Clint squeezed Loki's side harder at the sweet sensation of friction and shook his head so minutely that it was only felt and not seen. "You did that," he told his lover. "Just like that. You were pressed against me, and-" He broke off and buried his face in Loki's neck. He was never good at stuff like that. Loki was the wordsmith, the talker. Clint preferred action. 

Which Loki was well aware of. He gripped a handful of Clint's hair and pulled his head out of his neck. "Why don't you do to me what I did to you," he persuaded. 

Clint nodded, pulling deliciously against the finger in his hair. He swiveled his hips until he was right on top of Loki, looking down at his mischevious eyes. He rolled his hips against his lover and ducked his head down to mouth at Loki's smooth neck, Loki releasing his hold easily. The god exhaled sharply, leaning his chin up to let Clint have better access. 

Clint chuckled against his skin. "I did that, too, in my dream. Let you have at it, just put my head back and enjoyed it."

Loki's voice was sure, but Clint could feel the way his pulse beat faster against his lips. "I do not blame you for your figurative actions."

Clint smiled at that then bit down softly at the vein that was pressing purple against the white skin of Loki's neck. "I tried to keep my hands off you- in my dream- like I haven't since back when we both lived in the tower and you would stalk around with that attitude." Clint moaned at the memory and rocked his hips down again as he licked across Loki's sharp collarbone. "Your hair was so long then, and I remember wishing you could read my mind and pull me into some dusty office and fuck me."

Loki laughed, full and bright then. "I wished that same wish many times, my little bird. Very few times did I act on it."

Clint groaned. "Oh, I remember." He slid a hand up to Loki's neck but earned a reprimanding growl in response and moved it back down to his hip. "I'm sorry. May I?"

"First, finish your dream."

Obediently, Clint continued. "Where was I?" He rubbed soft circles into Loki's hips. "Oh, right. I tried to keep my hands off you, but only lasted until you whispered in my ear."

Loki's smirk was expected and welcome. "What did I say?"

Clint leaned down, lips just brushing. "I don't know." He pulled back and rolled off his lover. "I just remember grabbing at you and then you woke me up."

"That is too bad. I would love to have known," Loki mused. The archer turned onto his side and raised a brow. Loki held his gaze, both of them quiet for a moment before the god ceded, "You may," voice even yet toying.

Clint had a leg swung over Loki and was straddling his hips in a second. One hand spanned one side of his chest while the other slid back up to the perfect curve of Loki's neck. He reveled in being allowed to touch, took everything Loki would give him. His hands roamed, thumbed over a nipple and gripped a hip. He could feel Loki's evaluating gaze but kept his eyes on his target.

He shuffled down the bed, taking the covers with him as he moved down Loki's body and left soft kisses in his wake. When Clint reached the thin stretch of spandex holding Loki's underwear to his hips, he finally looked up for permission. Loki's was just about to say yes, lips parted and eyes alight, when an alarm rang through the apartment. Both heads swiveled towards the sound. Clint groaned and let his forehead thump against Loki's hip while the god sat up and asked, "Report?" 

JARVIS's voice almost sounded apologetic when he said,  _"There is a space differential opening hovering over the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The team has been alerted and will meet you on site."_

Clint crawled off the bed. "Any idea who's behind it?" He asked as he disappeared into their closet. 

Loki shoved the covers back and smoothed his short hair off his face before getting out of bed. He waved a hand at himself and a sleek bodysuit of black and dark green armor appeared over his skin. Clint emerged from the closet a moment later, suit in a new slate grey that Tony had made for him to go with the arrows and quiver Loki got him for his birthday that year- a little something special: they replenished eternally.

_"Not yet, sir. Doctor Banner is working on the source from the helicarrier as we speak."_

Clint grabbed his bow from where it hung by their bed and turned to Loki. "We better get moving then."

Loki swept an arm out. "After you."

They were on Clint's bike and roaring down the busy New York streets when Loki pressed a com into his ear. Steve's voice was already going.  _"...those people away from the area. Natasha?"_

_"I'm on it."_

"Cap? You have me and Loki."

_"Good to hear from you, Barton. Loki, since Thor is off planet, you're our resident magician."_ Loki rolled his eyes while Clint bit down on a smirk.  _"_ _Banner will brief you on what he has so far when you get here._ _I'll need you on the roof to see what you can do. Clint, unfriendlies are trickling out of the portal. We've got a handle on it, but I'll need you to come take my place so I can get under the portal with Loki."_

He wanted to be the one to go with Loki, but this was business and they'd had this talk a few times already, so he just answered with a  _yes, sir_  and gunned it down 5th Ave. Before they'd even reached the museum, they could feel the air being sucked out of the atmosphere and into the void that hung like a sore above the country's most famous museum of art. Clint came to a skidding halt at the base of the steps and looked up into the gaping space. There was nothing on the other side, just black and stillness. It left a sickening feeling in Clint's gut.

Loki was off the bike and kissing his cheek before Clint could pull his eyes away. That was all he got before Loki flicked his hands and green spirals of magic lifted him off the ground and towards the roof. Clint rolled his eyes and wished for the umpteenth time that Loki would gift him just one or two powers. He ran towards the tall building, already pulling an arrow from his quiver and aiming it at the roof. It released and approached the line where the building met the sky, opening into a claw and latching on. 

Clint didn't falter in his rhythm, just jumped up the side of the stone wall as he clicked the other end into place on his belt and let it lift him to the roof in a smooth, easy motion. As he ascended, he saw Natasha rushing people out of the museum and putting a shot through what looked to be the enemy in head to toe white. The rest of the team was on the roof when he jumped over: Barnes was popping off shot after shot, only half of them hitting solidity, the others going through the white bodies like air; Tony was flying above the museum but giving noticeable distance to the hole in the sky while he took out newly appearing forces; Steve was running across the roof with Loki to be right under the thing, already communicating with Bruce. 

Clint heard a rustling and swung to his right as he notched an arrow, releasing it into the white form running at him. It went straight through but didn't stick. Clint notched another and activated the explosive in the tip before shooting it. That took the thing out, but Clint wasn't happy about it taking two. He pressed a hand to his com. "Someone want to explain why my arrows are going right through them?"

Bucky's voice chimed in.  _"They can shift or something. You have to catch them off guard so they stay solid."_

Clint huffed. "Thanks for the heads up."

_"Maybe you should get here on time next time,"_ Bucky jabbed with a smile in his voice. 

Clint notched another arrow and didn't turn towards his target until the last second, taking it by surprise and catching it in the heart. "We were busy when we got the call!"

_"Ew. TMI,"_ Natasha added. 

_"Stay focused,"_  came Steve's appropriately authoritative voice.  _"Loki thinks he can close this thing up but we all need to clear the area."_

Clint's focused pinpointed on the slim form of his partner across the roof. "What? No way." Only because he was narrowed in on Loki could Clint see the shake of his shoulders. He was laughing. The bastard. 

_"I will be fine, Clint. I cannot be harmed by my own magic. You on the other hand..."_

Clint wished Loki was looking at him then so he could see the worry in his eyes. He didn't like the plan. "I'm not leaving you up here by yourself."

_"Clint, this is our best shot,"_ Steve reminded him.

"I don't care-"

_"Barton,"_ Loki hissed into his com, and Clint promptly pressed his mouth shut. Loki never used their power dynamic against him during battle unless he thought he was absolutely right.

He always was.

"Okay," Clint acquiesced. "I want constant communication, Loki. I mean it."

Everyone on the roof began running for the edges, but Clint couldn't quite move. This was all wrong. He could feel it in his core. Loki must've somehow been able to feel him there still because he turned to look at Clint for a second. The look in his eyes was confident, even from halfway across the roof. Clint had to trust him.

He turned and took off towards the edge of the roof, glad he didn't have a chance to disconnect the suspension line attached to his belt. He swooped over the edge of the building just as he felt the shift in the air. Loki must be working his magic. Suddenly, the sky turned dark around the outside of the hole and the wind swirled around the building. 

Clint reached the ground, disconnected, and ran out far enough to see what was going on. "Loki? Everything okay?"

There was a silence that was too long for Clint's liking before Loki answered,  _"Darling, why don't I update if it's bad news? I need both of my hands."_

Clint huffed and raked a hand through his hair. He hated being useless. He hated leaving Loki up there to deal with a gaping space hole by himself. He hated the sinking feeling in his gut that this was going to end badly. He shoved a thumbnail between his teeth and nibbled, pacing unnervingly until Natasha ran up to his side and held him firm with two hands.

"Relax. He's a pro at this stuff," she reminded him.

Clint nodded, shoving down the icky rolling of his stomach. "Yeah, I know. I just can't shake this feeling-"

The sky roared, diverting both of their attention, as the hole collapsed in on itself, swirling smaller and smaller. It shrank until it was nearly gone before it exploded and a surge of black fell down from the sky towards the roof of the Met, towards Loki.

Clint forgot he had to press his com to actually speak to Loki; he forgot he was supposed to be a professional superhero; he forgot to do anything but scream Loki's name towards where the black was billowing around the place on the roof where Loki was standing. He lurched forward to go get him, but Natasha grabbed him and yanked him back. One second the darkness was there, blackness growing and leaking over the edges of the building, and the next it was sucked back up into the sky and gone along with the hole. 

Clint's hand fumbled for his com and he shouted, "Loki!" Silence. "Loki, dammit answer me!" When he received only silence he pressed the com again, but this time shouted, "Tony, get here now! Take me to the roof."

_"Clint, I don't know-"_ came Tony's hesitant response. 

Bad sign. Tony had been hovering nearby when the sky exploded. He had a better vantage point than Clint. "Right fucking now, Stark!" he demanded as he started running towards the museum. Within seconds, Clint felt the air whoosh around him and then Tony was grabbing him around the waist and lifting him into the air. He could see the roof before they landed, and it was exactly as Clint feared.

Empty.

Tony dropped him gently where Loki had been standing moments before. Clint looked down at the spot, up at the empty sky and then back down before falling to his knees and feeling around the area with his hands like there was a trap door or something. "No, no," he mumbled as he frantically moved around the roof on his knees. "Loki, no."


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is okay, but Clint is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Loki? Well, let's find out. Enjoy xo
> 
> Tiny trigger! --> Some violence. Non-fatal.

Loki strained to peel his eyes open; they were heavy and black edged into his vision. He couldn't move, his limbs leaden, but he finally blinked his vision clear and a grey ceiling came into view. He furrowed his brow, confused and too disoriented to try and make sense of anything. He looked to his left, saw the sure line of Clint's body in bed, the thin sheet hanging comfortably on him and he sighed. "Darling," he turned onto his side and reached towards his lover, "I had the worst-"

Clint was on his feet in an instant, bow pulled from under the bed and an arrow poised at Loki before the god was cognizant enough to even drop the hand he'd reached out. "You have three seconds to tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now," Clint warned.

Loki pushed up into a sitting position and shrugged like that was a terrible joke. "Because I love you," he reasoned like it was obvious.

Clint's bow faltered, lowering just a tiny bit as his face took on blatant shock, but in the next moment he was composed and his bow was steady again. "Stop talking," he ordered.

"Excuse me," Loki countered, "but you asked. Clint, this isn't funny. Put that down and come to bed."

Incredulousness took over Clint's features. "I'm not going anywhere near you, asswipe. How did you even get inhere?"

Loki shook his head, weary but sure Clint wouldn't hurt him, and stood from the bed. A bed that didn't feel like theirs, he noted. "I know today did not go as planned, but I am well," Loki assured him. "You do not have to fear." He patted his hands over his chest and stomach. "I am whole."

Clint pulled the string of the bow a little tauter. "Not for long unless you explain why you're here and haven't tried to kill me yet."

Loki scoffed, aiming for a laugh but not finding any hint of a joke on Clint's face so it fell flat. "My hawk, I-"

"Don't fucking call me that. Where do you get off?"

Loki smirked then, the opportunity too good to pass up. "Inside you mostly, but sometimes you enjoy it across your chest," Loki teased, eyes roaming over Clint's body hungrily. Clint had always encouraged his humor, saying he never laughed enough when they'd first met. It didn't appear as if Clint appreciated the joke though. Loki assessed Clint's narrowed gaze; the more he roamed, the more confused Loki became. 

Clint was shirtless, almost always was in his sleep, but he looked different. Loki ran his eyes down the length of Clint's body, taking in each scar and bruise. Then he diverted them to the room they both stood in. They were on either side of a bed, a full not a queen like in their apartment. The walls and ceiling were a dull grey, not the peaceful seafoam green they'd decided on when they moved in. The window was in the wrong place and smaller. 

Loki brought his eyes back to Clint, who was practically vibrating he was so tense. "You look like him, but you are not."

"Don't try to trick me. I'm not buying it. I don't care what-"

"You have wounds I do not know on him. I have memorized every mark on my lover's body and those are unfamiliar to me." Loki started to walk around the bed, ignoring Clint's demanded to _stop; don't move_. He came to stand inches from Clint, the tip of his arrow pointing directly at his face. "Your skin is pure where he is marred with scars- ones I gave him, ones I cleaned and healed for him." The god didn't want to think about what all of that meant, but there were few options leading to the current situation; he did not like any of them. 

"The fuck are you talking about, Loki?"

"You are not my Clint Barton."

Clint actually laughed then, a sharp bark that shifted his hold on his bow for a half second. "Not anymore, buddy. You can thank my _many_  therapists for that."

Loki felt his heart rate increase. He was further from Clint- _his_  Clint- than he'd been in years, and if he was remembering the moments before he passed out correctly, his lover would be distraught and alone wherever he was. "I have to leave." He turned and started to walk towards the door.

"Not a chance," Clint argued and then Loki felt the small familiar whoosh of an arrow flying by millimeters from his body before it notched firmly in the wood of the door. Loki turned and Clint already had another arrow pulled from nowhere, placed, and was aiming it at him.

"I do not belong here," Loki informed him.

"Yeah, duh. There's not a reason in the world you would belong in my bedroom, but I can't just let you leave."

Loki sighed, long-suffering but somehow patient. "Clint, I could not stand to hurt you." The archer scoffed. "Please, do not do this."

"Fat chance, Silvertongue." Clint said the nickname with the hatred Loki had heard from his own people for the majority of his life. 

Loki felt a bubble of disdain he hadn't felt towards Clint since the beginning rise to the surface. He had to remember that this wasn't the man he loved and Clint could very well have every right to behave as he was towards Loki. Knowing himself, Clint likely had very good reason to be wary around him. "Do not call me that, Hawk."

"You called me _darling_!" Clint shuddered at the memory.

"I wasn't calling you darling. I was talking to...Nevermind. I am going to leave this room and be gone from you. Do not concern yourself with me, I hope to be home within the day."

Clint huffed his own sigh and lowered his bow a tiny bit. "You're not understanding. You're not leaving."

Loki leveled him plainly. "I am."

Clint reaimed. "You're not."

The god swiped a hand and Clint's bow flung from his hands and onto the bed, leaving Clint shocked. "I am." He turned and moved towards the door, but he could hear Clint running at him. He swerved out of the way of Clint's first punch, letting the archer fall into the door, before pushing him back just hard enough to clear the way out. Clint came back quickly, throwing punches and lashing out with a kick or two, each one deflected easily by Loki's hands or magic. 

Loki knew how Clint fought; he'd spent years fighting beside him. This Clint was similar in many ways, if not more enthusiastic than usual. Clint only became more determined, though, the more that Loki used his defenses. "Fight back!" Clint demanded.

"I will not harm you," Loki miffed between swats and blocks.

 

Clint pulled a roundhouse the god wasn't expecting, knocking Loki's head sideways and pooling his mouth with blood, much to Loki's surprise. "Since when?"

Loki gritted his teeth and breathed. He spat the blood onto the floor and knocked away another punch. "Clint, you are testing me."

Clint smiled at that. "Good to know." Another move Loki didn't recognize landed an elbow to Loki's ribs, making him double over enough for Clint to knee him under the chin. Loki stumbled back, angry. He wiped the blood from his mouth with his sleeve and set his hands alight with green swirls of magic, though it took more effort than he wanted to admit. 

"Take care, Hawk. I still do not wish to hurt you, but if you will not cede, I will be forced to put you down." Loki launched a stunning spell at Clint, but it glanced past his shoulder as he ducked. 

"I will never surrender to you."

Loki raised a brow at that. If only this Clint knew. "Do not speak so soon, little bird."

Clint growled and lunged at the god, coming cuff to cuff as they threw swings and spells at each other. Loki was learning that this Clint was more different from his own than he first thought. He had fighting techniques Loki wasn't as familiar with and he let his anger fuel him- something that his Clint geared away from with Loki's guidance.

Loki grabbed the wrist of the arm swinging towards him and flung Clint onto the bed. Clint rolled over and reached for his bow and the arrow that came loose from it and continued to roll off the other side of the bed. He renotched his arrow as he stood and shot it before Loki could say anything. Loki's eyes went wide, but his hand came up in time for his magic to kick the arrow off its trajectory, one that would have ended between his eyes, and land the arrow in his shoulder. 

Loki hissed and stumbled back, which Clint took advantage of and leaped over the bed. He tackled Loki to the ground, a hand going to his neck. _Clint knows better than to touch me there without permission_ , Loki's mind screamed irrationally. He knocked Clint's hand away and wedged a knee between them to push Clint far enough off him to break the arrow off so only the end was sticking out of his body. 

Clint lurched forward again but Loki rolled out from under him and let Clint fall to the floor, crawling on top of him and pinning both hands behind his back with tight green swirls as cuffs. He placed his other hand at the back of Clint's neck and squeezed, inhaling the delicious scent of Clint's submission, involuntary or not. Loki leaned down and breathed in his ear, "Back in your rightful place, little bird."

The archer screamed and wriggled under Loki's weight, but he was pinned. "Fuck you! Don't call me that."

Loki couldn't help the pulse of his blood at seeing Clint under him like that. He hummed and stroked a thumb over the side of Clint's neck, right at his pulse point. Clint flinched away from the touch, but Loki's low, strong ' _s_ _till_ ' froze him. 

Clint swallowed hard and turned to place a hot cheek against the cool ground. His eyes flicked sideways, up at Loki, and he snarled, "Do it, dammit."

"Do what?" Loki asked as he scratched gently at Clint's scalp. He hadn't seen Clint this defiant since they first began working together. He remembered the first few times he bent Clint to his will consensually, and it made Loki's heart beat faster. 

Clint scoffed. "Kill me. Just do it, stop playing with me."

Loki gripped Clint's hip firmly and nosed along the back of his ear. "I could never. What would my existence be without you by my side?"

Clint's whole body tensed and he made a noise Loki knew meant he was giving in but fighting it. "I don't-"

The door to the bedroom splintered from its hinges, flooding the dark room with light and noise. Loki leaned down over Clint protectively, covering his head with an arm and tucking his face into his neck to shelter him from the assault. 

"Get off him, Loki!" 

That was Tony's voice, but it sounded hard like Loki hadn't heard it in a long time. The next second, Loki was being pulled off Clint's back, making his shoulder scream in pain. His first instinct was to reach for Clint, to protect him, to connect with him, but both of his arms were bound in metal fists. Clint rolled over and looked up at Loki with an expression he couldn't decern. "Are you well?" Loki asked, quiet but insistent and just for Clint, while the other Avengers filtered into the room and aimed weapons at him. 

Clint scrambled for something to say, confusion lacing the crease between his brows, but he said nothing. Loki did his own assessment in lieu of an answer, checking Clint's body for blood or wounds. When he saw none, he relaxed into Stark's hold and allowed himself to be pulled from the room. 

On the floor, Clint watched him being pulled away as he tried to reconsile the last few things Loki had said to him. Natasha was by his side in a heartbeat and helping him sit up. "You okay?"

Clint nodded even if he wasn't sure, letting Natasha help him stand. "Yeah, I think so."

"F.R.I D.A.Y. alerted us that Loki had you pinned down in your room. What the hell happened?" Natasha seemed to be doing the same scan Loki had done, checking for damage. When she came up clean, her shoulders relaxed. Clint saw her features softening out of the corner of his eyes but he was busy looking through the doorway where Loki had disappeared. 

"I have no idea."

Natasha looked back in the direction Loki had gone, following Clint's gaze. "Isn't he supposed to be dead?"

Clint didn't think about it until right then, but... "Yeah, I think so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL! I'm dead. At my own story. Good lord, you know it's too much when the author is shook. More to come. Once I get the first few chapters up to get you started, I'll update regularly at a pace you all choose if you leave it in the comments.
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is so confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank the couple of comments I've gotten on the first two chapters. Y'all are what make me want to write more. Bookmark or subscribe to this fic so you can get updates! Enjoy xo

Clint moved to the doorway and stood with Natasha while Tony and Steve dragged Loki out of the room by his forearms. Loki was stumbling back with them, eyes glued to Clint. The intensity of them made Clint shift his eyes to the floor. Natasha caught the moment and asked, "What did he say to you?" Clint only shook his head, not ready to say anything out loud, not with Loki right there. Natasha squeezed his wrist. "Whatever it was, you can't believe him. He's the god of lies."

"Mischief."

"What?"

Clint flicked his eyes back up to Loki, who was on his knees then. "He's the god of mischief, not lies."

"Same thing," Natasha decided and crossed her arms as she leaned on the destroyed doorframe. 

Clint wasn't so sure. "Yeah."

Tony threw a punch, one with a little blaster behind it, and Clint heard the crunch of bone when it connected with Loki's cheek. Steve pushed a hand out towards Tony- a warning to chill out. The sound of the hit made Clint stand up straighter and pay attention. Loki's head twisted with the blow, but then his eyes were back on Clint in a second. "Please, look away."

The words weren't loud, but they pierced Clint in the chest as if Loki had screamed them. It was as if a physical hand rested on top of Clint's head, and he lowered it respectfully. 

"Don't speak to him," Tony barked. "You look right here, right at me." When Loki didn't take his eyes off Clint, Tony grabbed him by the chin and forced Loki's face up to peer at the man looming over him. "You never get to touch him again, you understand me? Never again." Tony accentuated the statement with a forceful flick of Loki's head out of his grip. 

Clint could see Natasha looking from him to Loki with questioning eyes. He didn't realize he was worrying his lip between his teeth until she asked, "How did Loki get into your room?" 

Clint shrugged, focusing on his best friend instead of the whoosh of air leaving Loki's lungs when Tony kicked him onto his back. They started asking things of him, mostly the same things Clint had already asked. He bodily turned to face Natasha and mirrored her stance against the door frame. "I don't know. I woke up and he was behind me..." Clint words fell away remembering the moment of sheer terror at waking up to the vaguely familiar scent of the man that had taken his mind from him, then hearing his voice.

 _Darling_.

Clint shook away the recollection and pushed on. "I pulled an arrow on him, but I couldn't just shoot him unarmed and obviously confused. I'm a killer, not a murderer."

"It's Loki.  _He's_  a murderer." Clint faced the famed murderer again, keeping his face perfectly stoic as he took in Loki's bloody nose. It felt feral, what they were doing. He wouldn't treat anyone like that; it wasn't because it was Loki, he told himself. 

He waved an arm out towards the god that was laying there loosely on the carpet in Clint's wide hallway while Tony yanked his head off the floor by his short hair. "You want me to be like him?" he threw at Natasha.

She took the words in and nodded, understanding, then turned to look at the scene before her, eyes flicking from Tony to Loki and back to Clint. "He has an arrow in his shoulder."

"Very astute."

"Don't bullshit me, Clint," she requested, no spite in her voice. "You shot him. How?"

Clint shrugged again, feeling helpless. "I don't know. I aimed for his head, but he knocked it off balance and it went in his shoulder instead. I didn't even know my arrows could pierce him." Another crack sounded through the hallway when Tony stomped down on Loki's hurt shoulder.

"Okay!" Clint shouted before he knew what he was doing. Everyone froze and looked at him. He squeezed his eyes shut and stepped forward. "He's not going to fight you." Clint connected with Loki's gaze and found that he knew it to be true. Loki was bleeding from the mouth, nose, and shoulder. He was breathing heavily and with a wheezing that assured at least a cracked rib. Loki didn't smile, but he tried. Clint barreled on. "He needs medical attention. Something's obviously wrong with him."

"You can say that again," Tony quipped. "This bastard killed thousands!"

"Tony," Bruce whispered and placed a hand on Tony's arm. "It won't make you feel better."

Steve's eyes ran over Loki's beaten body. "He probably doesn't any internal bleeding, but if you keep going, he will. If we know he's alive, Thor will come looking for him sooner or later."

Tony ignored them but didn't pull away from Bruce. "You're not even supposed to be alive! Thor told us you died." He did tug his arm away then, but only to cross them over his chest. "And doing some self-sacrificing bullshit, too."

Loki placed a hand on his stomach, trying to keep his labored breathing even. "Well, that doesn't sound like me."

"Exactly." He tilted his head towards Bruce like Loki was making his point. "God of lies."

"Mischief," both Clint and Loki corrected at the same time. Their eyes went to each other, surprised, and Loki did smile then while Clint grimaced. 

"Can you get him out of here? I don't need more blood to clean up," Clint requested, disgusted. 

Bruce was the one to reach down and lift Loki from the floor, far more gently than Tony would have while Steve got under the other arm and they carried Loki towards Clint's elevator door. Loki twisted around to look back at Clint like he needed to see him even then. 

Clint couldn't look away. Loki was bloodied and haggard, but somehow just as beautiful as the first moment he'd ever seen him. Like Loki could hear his thoughts, he smiled at Clint with all the sweetness unafforded to a murderous god. Clint huffed and pushed off the frame to go assess the damage to his hall rug while the others departed. Blood had spread from Loki's shoulder wound, but other than that it was small splatters from his face. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you get someone up here first thing in the morning to clean this? And while you're at it, I'll need a new door."

_"Certainly, Mr. Barton."_

"Clint, F.R.I.D.A.Y. I've told you."

_"Of course, Mr. Barton."_

That made both Clint and Natasha chuckle as only two assassins could in the wake of blood-stained carpets. He walked down the hallway and into the living room, listening for Natasha's following footsteps. Sometimes he could hear them, most times he couldn't. That night, they were loud and clear and Clint took if for the soothing gesture that it was.

He flopped down onto his couch and waited for Natasha to do the same. She did and then swung her legs up to rest them on Clint's lap. The archer immediately took to rubbing small circles across her naked shin with his thumb while he held her ankle.

"He didn't," Natasha hesitated, "mess with your head or anything, right?"

Clint shook his head quickly, sure of that at least. "No, I feel fine. Like myself, at least." His head rolled back until it landed softly on the back of the couch. "As for the rest, I have no idea what's going on."

"He didn't even try to fight Tony. I thought for a second Stark was actually going to kill him."

"You didn't make a move to stop him," Clint noted. They both let that observation sink in between them for a long few minutes. "I did." That observation felt heavier, headier and took even longer to sink in. 

"Why?" Natasha finally asked just when Clint was about to go somewhere dark in his head.

"I don't know," Clint answered automatically which earned a heel pressed into his thigh. "Okay, I don't-" He raked a hand through his bedhead and huffed. "He didn't fight me either."

"In your room?" Natasha wondered. "When we came in he had you pinned under him." Clint closed his eyes against the feeling of Loki straddling his hips, mouth against his ear. He did his best to keep from flinching but was off his game that night and Natasha knew him well. "He did something to you."

It wasn't a question and it wasn't a judgment. 

"No," Clint breathed. "I don't know."

"Talk to me, Clint. If I don't debrief you, someone else will."

With a frustrated sound, Clint lifted his head and let it all come falling out. "He called me darling. His hair is shorter. He smells different and he refused to fight back." Clint pounded a fist against his palm. "I'm telling you, that is not the Loki we know."

Natasha didn't respond immediately, not that Clint had expected her to. She folded her arms across her stomach and wiggled her toes in an unspoken request that Clint rub her feet. He obliged, happy to have something to do with his hands. 

"Darling?" she questioned.

"Yeah," Clint confirmed, unable to look at her.

"Did he call you anything else?"

Clint ran back over the names Loki had murmured at him, pleaded him with. My hawk.  _Little bird_. That one rubbed him in all the wrong ways. "Not really," he lied. She knew he was lying, but she let him anyway.

"Did he say any else to you? Why he was here? What he wanted?"

Instead of his reflexive  _I don't know_ , he went back to think through his encounter with Loki. "He said I wasn't his Clint."

"As long as he knows," Natasha scoffed.

Clint let one edge of his mouth tilt up but said, "That's basically what I said, but I don't think that's what he meant." Natasha hummed an affirmation to continue, so he did. "He said," and Clint slowed down to get the wording exactly right, "I look like him, but I'm not."

"Like who?"

"I don't know," Clint answered honestly that time. "But I have a feeling it's...me? Maybe, I don't know. I shoot arrows, I'm not a scientist."

Natasha ignored his rant and went back to what he said. "You think he could mean you, but you don't think Loki was talking about you? Do I have that right?"

"I  _think_ ," Clint urged, frustration lacing his words, "he meant a different Clint."

"There is no other Clint, Clint. You're Clint." She was being facetious and Clint pinched the thin skin on top of her foot as punishment. "Okay," she giggled, calming. "But really that doesn't make any sense."

"Is it the weirdest thing we've dealt with? He said that he hoped to be home by the end of the day."

"Asgard?"

"I don't think so. It seemed like he wasn't sure how to get to wherever 'home' was."

Natasha tilted her head in consideration and allowed, "What are we saying? That's not Loki?"

"Not  _our_  Loki..."

"And you're not his Clint?" Clint winced at the phrasing but nodded. Natasha propped an elbow on the back of the couch and then placed her head against her hand. "How is that more believable than the theory that Loki is  _lying_?"

It instantly didn't sit right in Clint's chest. Loki wasn't lying, he could feel it. "He's not. I just know it."

Natasha's tone was flippant. "Oh, you just know-"

"Natasha," Clint snapped. "I just know."

"Okay," she allowed and they dropped it. She settled more comfortably into the couch and tucked her hands behind her head. "You won't be able to see him; you know that, right?"

Clint hadn't really thought of it until right then. "I wouldn't want to."

"Uh huh," she answered, not even half convinced and Clint pointedly ignored her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we can all agree I have about as much idea what's going on as Clint does. Maybe in the next chapter Loki can clear some things up. Let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are getting involved now. Clint is still grumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only so many Type A's are allowed in one room at a time. Enjoy xo

He couldn't go back to his bed that night. He couldn't walk past the pool of blood and the shattered door frame and lay down in the bed that Loki had been in just a short hour ago. He couldn't take the chance that it would happen again- which was ludicrous obviously, but he couldn't. So he slept on the couch in the living room under the worn blanket Natasha had gotten him in Budapest.

Well, 'slept' was a generous word for the few hours he spent tossing and turning on the not quite soft cushions as visions of Loki's bloodied mouth transitioned into the ruthless smile he'd turned on Clint as he tapped the tip of the spear against his chest. His dreams turned to nightmares, ones he hadn't had in years, ones he thought he'd gotten rid of for good along with the raven-haired demon god. 

Clint was ripped from painful restlessness by F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s announcement that there were two people ascending the elevator to come and fix Clint's apartment. The archer usually tried to be civil even though F.R.I.D.A.Y. was a machine and had no feelings, but he just couldn't after the night he'd had. He just grunted in acknowledgment and pushed himself off the couch. He headed straight for his bathroom where he gargled some mouth wash and then used it to swallow down three pain relievers. 

At the wooshing sound of his elevator door opening, he peeked his head out of the bathroom door and hollered through his bedroom, "End of the hall."

A stocky man with a tell-tale beer belly and a tall, lithe woman with fire-red hair stepped carefully over the blood stain and into Clint's bedroom. Clint, hair still a mess from tossing and eyes blurred from lack of real sleep, stripped off his old shirt despite the company and pulled a new one from his drawers. 

"I'm here to clean the blood and she's going to see what she can do about your door. Sound good?"

Clint didn't even turn around, aware he was just being rude but didn't have it in him to care. "Yeah, thanks." He pulled his sweats off and yanked a pair of jeans out from the next drawer down. Behind him, the pair sounded like they were getting to work, and Clint couldn't ignore it forever. 

He turned towards his bed and looked at the mess of it. His sheet and comforter were thrown nearly off the bed, hanging on by one thick, bundled corner. One pillow was on the floor and the other was ripped. He didn't even know when that had happened. Huffing, he went and sat down on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumping tiredly. He looked on as the duo scrubbed and measured. 

Loki had been right there. Clint closed his eyes against of vision of Loki on the bed behind him, reaching out. _Darling_.

He shuddered and stood up from the bed. "I'm heading out. Just let yourselves out when you're done," he told the workers. They murmured understanding as Clint pushed into shoes and grabbed his phone. He was just approaching the elevator when it opened.

Steve's face was stoic as usual but broke into a tiny smile when he saw Clint was up and dressed. "Oh good. They sent me up because we all thought you'd be terrible to deal with after last night." Clint raised a brow, doubtful. "Well, all of us except Natasha. She guessed you be awake and grumpy."

Clint was tired of waiting through pleasantries. He just wanted to get outside in the fresh air. "What do you need, Cap?" he demanded, confirming Natasha's bet.

"Meeting and debrief downstairs," Steve offered, tone back to business.

No. Not a meeting. The last thing Clint needed was to be stuck in a room with a bunch of suits. "Natasha already debriefed me." It wasn't an excuse that would work, but he tried it anyway.

"It's not your debrief," Steve informed him and waved Clint on the elevator. Clint tapped down a petulant groan, but barely, and boarded. "It's Thor's."

He should've known. Where Loki went, there too was the god of thunder. "That was fast."

"We called him."

Of course. Loki wasn't a foe they let rot in a cell; they wanted to know what was going on and they wanted to know now. "So why do you need me?" The elevator was slowing down, approaching the desired floor. 

As the doors opened, Steve answered, "He won't talk to anyone but you."

"Thor?" 

Steve stepped off the lift but turned back to Clint. "Loki." Then, he walked off towards the long row of offices, expecting correctly that Clint would follow. Clint only followed out of habit. His feet were moving but his brain was still back on the elevator.

Loki would only talk to him. Figured. The god of torture and chaos and ruin wasn't done with him yet. 

"What if I don't want to talk to him?" Clint asked, much like an unruly child, as they approached a glass door that held the Avengers on the other side. 

Steve paused, palm against the edge of the door. "This isn't about you," he reminded the archer and led him into the room. The conversation was flowing but came to a screeching halt when they saw Clint. 

Clint walked up to the table but didn't take Cap's lead and sit. He stood behind a chair and awkwardly folded his arms. The silence thawed when Thor walked from the head of the table to pull him into an unnecessarily constricting hug. 

"Barton, my friend. How are you?"

It was so hard to stay bitchy when Thor was so warm and welcoming. Clint folded his arms around Thor and said, "Tired, but what else is new?"

Thor pulled back, barked a laugh and slapped him on the shoulder. Clint held back his wince. "We have much to discuss." 

"Yeah, I heard."

The god nodded, like that was something to really think about before clapping his hands together and saying, "When may I deliver my brother back to our home?"

Tony was up and shouting before Thor even finished the sentence. "He's not going anywhere. We let you take him last time and he somehow escaped not once but twice."

Steve was standing then, too. "Tony, let's take a breath."

Then Natasha was standing, smoother and not as angry as Tony had. "He's escaped from us before, too."

Tony waved an arm towards the blond immortal. "From what I remember, Thor had a hand in that, too."

"We're not equipped to hold someone like Loki here," Bruce offered, standing but backing up from the table as he spoke.

"You speak truth, Dr. Banner. I can ensure the security of Loki's imprisonment this time."

"Oh yeah? Did Odin update his DDT?" Tony snarked. Thor didn't look confused, but more like he didn't care to understand. 

Clint looked over at Steve with a raised brow. _Why am I here again?_ he seemed to say. Steve sighed and put a hand up, palm out. "Guys!" The noise in the room broke, filtering to silence after a few seconds. Steve looked to Natasha. "Why don't you tell everyone what you ascertained from Clint's debrief."

Natasha stayed standing while everyone else took a seat. Clint had an inclination to feel slighted that he wasn't speaking for himself on the matter, but as soon as Natasha started talking, he was glad he didn't have to. "We have reason to believe that the person currently being detained might not be the Loki we know."

"Speak plainly, Widow. Do you have my brother or not?"

The redhead locked eyes with Clint before looking to Thor and answering. "We have a Loki in custody."

"A Loki?" Tony urged. "What does that mean, _a_  Loki?"

"Clint's testimony along with preliminary testing concluded that the person in that cell may not be the Loki from our Earth." Natasha darted a warning look at Tony when he went to interrupt. "We believe he may be a Loki from a different..."

"Universe," Clint finished for her. "He's not from our universe." Clint's mind had done some wandering during the fits of insomnia between forceful dreams throughout the night. It was the only thing that made sense. 

"A Loki form a parallel universe?" Bruce questioned. "How would he have gotten here? We haven't detected any sort of disturbance."

"We don't know," Steve followed up. "Which is why we need Clint to go in and talk to him."

"He's refusing even my company," Thor added. "I cannot take him home if he is not truly the brother I know and he says he will only see his hawk."

Clint's mouth instinctually snarled at that, but he swallowed it down and said, "I don't know what you think I'll get out of him. He hates me as much as I hate him."

"Our Loki, yeah, but what if he's not our Loki," Natasha clarified. "You said _that_ Loki didn't want to fight you last night." The archer could only nod, relieved she hadn't mentioned the nickname Loki had used for him or any of the other humiliating details he'd told her the night before. 

"Is it possible that this Loki doesn't have the same history with you in his timeline?" Natasha sat down then but leaned forward in her chair to speak seriously. "He's either a threat or he's innocent. Either way, we can't just leave him in a holding cell forever."

Clint knew she was right, but he didn't want to admit it. "Send in someone that will _make_ him talk."

The other assassin shrugged and sat back, easy as you please. "We could do that, but if he is an innocent version of Loki, then we torture him without cause. Are you willing to torture an innocent man?"

She knew he wasn't; she was playing on his humanity- the largest difference between them- in front of a room full of heroes. "No," he grit out. 

"Good, then we're agreed. We send Clint in for information but keep other tactics on the table in case we don't like what we hear," Steve declared. With that, the meeting was adjourned and Clint was left with a headache and a pit in his stomach.

He sat there, staring at the glass table, while everyone else filed out. Natasha stopped to place a gentle hand on his shoulder but didn't say anything and followed the others. Clint didn't want to go see Loki. He didn't want Loki in his bedroom, much less in his head. 

But if that wasn't Loki- their Loki- then he wasn't guilty of the same crimes as their Loki. Maybe he was completely different. Maybe he and Clint were even friends where that Loki was from. He'd regarded Clint kindly enough the night before. _How_ kindly Clint didn't dwell on; he could only handle one crisis at a time.

He huffed and pushed away from the table, standing up from his chair and staring down the large glass wall that looked out on the busy New York streets. From this high up, he could jump and never even-

He hadn't thought like that since...

He couldn't let himself go back to that place. He couldn't let Loki take him back to that place. He had to face Loki head on and take charge of the situation. He had to be brave.

Clint slapped a hand on the table, resolute, and stomped out of the conference room to the elevator. "Med bay, F.R.I.D.A.Y.," he told her, though he was sure she knew.

_"Right away, Mr. Barton."_

"What is it going to take for you to call me Clint?" he asked to the ceiling of the elevator as he began to descend. 

There was a pause, like F.R.I.D.A.Y. was actually thinking, and then she said, _"Convincing Mr. Stark to rewrite my programming...and a nice cache clearing. I love those."_

Clint honestly couldn't tell if she was joking; she'd been so deadpan. But Clint was nothing, if not sarcastic, so he agreed, "I'll get on it as soon as my world stops falling out from under me."

_"Speaking of..."_ The elevator came to a soft halt and the doors dinged open on a sterile white hallway. 

"Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y."

_"My pleasure. Mr-"_

"Don't start," he cut her off and walked out of the lift. He wasn't sure which room Loki was in, but since it was Loki he was sure he'd figure it out sooner rather than later. Sure enough, a loud bang came from a room at the end of the hall and Clint heard Loki's imperial voice shouting, _"I must go home, you fools!"_

Clint rolled his eyes. Their Loki or not, his temper hadn't seemed to change. He walked down the empty hall to the door with the noise behind it. The curtains were pulled across the large observation window so he couldn't see what was going on. He scanned his badge at the door and it clicked open. With one last deep breath to pull himself together, he stepped inside to face the man that took him apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Loki are finally going to talk next chapter. Let's see what the god mischief has to say.
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint visits Loki in the med bay and things get out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all! This chapter is making me blush and it's nothing near the shit I'm 'bout to write later on in this fic! Things are getting interesting for our out of space and time duo. Enjoy xo

A thick plastic chair clanged against the wall next to Clint's head, making him duck. A woman gasped, but then the room fell into silence. When Clint straightened back up and looked over to the god of mischief, he was looking right at Clint, hands cuffed in power dampening cuffs trembling in front of him as the last whispers of green dissipated from them.

"Clint," Loki whispered, like the name itself was too heavy for his tongue to carry. "You came."

Clint wanted to look away from the weight of Loki's eyes, but he refused; he'd already given enough of himself to that man. "I didn't have a choice," he said evenly then turned to the nurse that was holding a syringe of something. "Give us a minute?" It was a question, but also an order, and the nurse took it as such, leaving with a scared nod. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Loki took a step towards Clint. In the same moment, Clint drew a pistol and aimed the barrel at Loki's head.

"Hawk," Loki breathed, sweet and tempting, "we don't need that."

Clint fired off a shot about four millimeters from Loki's head. To Loki's defense, he didn't flinch, but his eyes closed and he gave a disappointed sigh. The archer pointed the gun back at Loki. "Don't call me that, or anything of the other monikers you've got, or I will put one between your eyes," he lowered the gun to Loki's crotch, "and one between the legs. Not in that order."

Loki's lips turned up in what could only be described as a pleased smirk. "You are just as defiant as my Clint," he noted.

Clint wasn't in the mood. "Sit down on the bed, hands where I can see them." Once Loki obeyed, Clint pulled the fallen chair back across the room and sat in it a few feet from the raven-haired man with his gun still in his hand on his lap. "Who are you?"

That seemed to amuse Loki further, his smirk breaking into a smile, one that seemed genuinely happy and looked all wrong on Loki's face. "I am Loki Odinson, child of Jotunheim and fellow Avenger." He added the last part with a haughty lift of his chin, proud beyond belief of something their Loki would spit at.

"I've always known you more as a lone wolf," Clint challenged.

Loki nodded, seeming to ponder the statement, before locking his gaze with Clint's and saying, directly into him, "Until I found you."

A shiver ran down Clint's spine, but he couldn't for the life of him tear his eyes away. "Not me."

The god hummed at that. "No, not  _you_ , but one like you all the same."

The question was hovering in the air like the cloud over Hiroshima, except the bomb was just about to go off. Clint didn't fidget, don't adjust in his seat. He set his jaw and asked, "You and the Clint where you're from- you're together." Well, he'd meant it as a question, but with each word he spoke, the truth of it became more and more apparent, and by the end it was a statement of fact. 

"Yes," Loki confirmed. "He is mine."

That broke Clint's composure. His jaw tensed and he had to cast his eyes to the floor. "You're controlling him," he assumed. "You still have the staff."

Loki's laugh broke the silence like a sledgehammer in a house of glass, brutal and sharp. Clint flicked his eyes up to see Loki's smile was full and squinting his eyes. "I haven't had the staff in many years, and Clint has not been under the influence of it for months longer. Though he is still under my control."

"How?" It came out more desperate than Clint intended and he checked himself, sitting straighter in the chair and clearing his throat.

Loki actually looked confused. "Because he chooses to."

A bitter laugh broke from Clint's chest at that. "Yeah, right. I would never."

The god shifted on the bed to cross an ankle over his knee and settled bed-chained hands in his lap. "You speak so surely, yet I can see the doubt in your words." Clint couldn't bark back; he knew anything he said right then would give him away. Loki didn't mind, just kept talking. "You refuse to acknowledge what it is you truly want. My darling Clint did the same when we first began our journey. You and he are much more alike than you realize."

Every word made bile rise in Clint's throat, but he swallowed it down and seethed, "You don't know anything about me." It was childish; he couldn't help it. He wasn't an interrogator- that was Natasha's job. 

"Do you have the same set of three large freckles on the inside of your left thigh?"

That surprised Clint enough that he instinctively squeezed his legs together like Loki could see them through his jeans somehow. "How do you..."

"I've kissed them many times."

"Oh, god..." Clint stood from the chair, shoving it back so hard it fell backward with a bang. 

Loki simply traced Clint's movements as he started pacing the room. "I know you enjoy raisin bread without the cinnamon. You have read every Tom Clancy novel, and forced me to read many of them as well." Clint snapped up to look at Loki, sure he'd heard wrong-  _you forced me_ \- but Loki was tamping down a smile as he kept talking. "You prefer morning sex to afternoon sex. You enjoy being taken from behind and you once sat on your knees for two hours with my cock in your mouth."

"Stop it!" Clint screamed, mouth dry and the hand that wasn't holding the gun was shaking. He stuffed the offending hand under his other armpit and turned away from the man on the bed. He hated that Loki was enjoying this; he hated that Loki had so much to say about him; he hated that it was all true- save for sucking his cock for two hours, that was news to him. The news made his stomach roll and he rushed to the corner where a small trash can sat and vomited into it gracelessly. 

"Clint?"

That was concern- real, genuine concern- in Loki's voice. Clint couldn't take it. "Shut up," he growled, throat hoarse. He pointed the gun behind him haphazardly and said, "Shut up or I blow your pretty face off," as he leaned a sweaty palm on the cool wall. Clint took in sucking breathes and reminded himself to  _calm. down._  

He'd just brought his heart rate back into normal range when Loki piped up. "You think me pretty?"

It took a long second for Clint to realize what he was talking about, and then the archer cursed himself for the slip. He'd never have let that happen if he wasn't so  _confused_! And the god was so confident it made Clint's skin crawl. He turned around and shot a bullet at Loki without hesitation. He wasn't sure if Loki would dodge it, and in the moment he didn't much care.

Loki leaned his head over, just a few inches, and tracked the bullet as it whizzed by and embedded itself in the wall. His head snapped back to Clint's with a look caught between impressed and put out. Clint rolled his eyes and shot another bullet at the wounded shoulder he could see was bandaged up under the collar of his dressing gown. That one landed, making surprise and pain wash over Loki's face. "For Hel's sake, Barton, stop shooting me!"

Clint lowered the gun and walked back to the chair, righting it and sitting. "I told you to shut up."

"I have never taken you more seriously, my hawk," Loki assured but there was a sparkle in his eye that undermined the statement. Clint raised the gun towards his again and Loki flinched.

"I also told you not to call me any more nicknames," Clint informed him calmly, glad to be taking some of the control back in the situation. 

Loki was starting to vibrate, eyes growing black and dangerous. "I should spank you for that." That startled Clint. He measured Loki with incredulous eyes; he must be joking. The hole in Loki's shoulder was already healing as sheer green tendrils snaked around it. The god's face turned leering and playful at the same time somehow, and Loki continued, "I should put you over my knee and mar your skin with welts and bruises."

He opened his body up, spreading his knees and leaning back, making himself appear three times his size. "I would rip your clothing to shreds and chain you to the bed. I would shower you in pain and pleasure until you wept, and not before you begged me for mercy would I touch you." He licked his lips. "I would devour you, taste you and fill you and turn your mind to white nothingness. I would  _break_ you." 

Loki was standing before Clint could even blink, his reflexes dulled by Loki's words, and glowing with a power that made the archer's mouth run dry. The chains connecting Loki to the bed disappeared- maybe they hadn't been there for a while- and he advanced on Clint, a predator stalking his prey. 

Clint was an easy kill at that moment, shaking yet frozen. Loki gripped him by the throat and lifted him from the chair, turning them both around and tossing Clint on the bed. The archer sluggishly brought his hands up to protect himself, but then Loki was grabbing his wrists and pinning them to the bed. He leaned down, pressing between Clint's thighs, and growled lowly into Clint's ear, "I would take you apart piece by piece until you were nothing and then I would play with each broken, exposed part until you were reshaped into  _mine_."

The archer felt a broken whimper in the back of his throat, and must have loosed it because Loki snarled, a feral sound bubbling from him, and crashed his mouth against Clint's. The kiss could barely be called such. It was wild and forceful, Loki taking everything he wanted from Clint and more while Clint begged him with his sounds to be gentle and to hurt him all the same. It was a feeling he hadn't faced since Manhattan. 

Loki locked Clint's wrists into place with green swirls as handcuffs and used his newly-freed hands to push under Clint's shirt and rake his nails down his sides. Clint bowed off the bed, pressing into Loki's body and felt warm skin against his shirt. Loki must have vanished the hospital gown at some point and was flattened against Clint's chest so tightly there wasn't space to breathe without feeling the breath in Loki's body. The god slid both hands under Clint's body, cupping his ass in his jeans and pulling their hips together. Clint keened, breaking the kiss to throw his head back. 

"Tell me what you want," Loki ordered, soft but firm at steel.

Clint heaved in gulps of air, trying to straighten his mind out. What did he want? What  _did_ he want? "More," he murmured and buried his face in his arm as punishment.

"As expected," Loki recognized and waved all of Clint's clothes away except his boxers. The cool air of the room flooded Clint's skin, making him shiver under Loki's touch. The near-immortal couldn't keep his hands still, roaming Clint's body with possessive gestures and erotic movements. He tilted his head down and bit at the column of Clint's neck. The archer hissed and lifted his legs to wrap around Loki's hips, heels pushing into the backs of his thighs in encouragement. 

Loki kept touching Clint but didn't dip into the waistband of his underwear and didn't touch his beckoning erection. Clint tried to steer him in the right direction, arching for him and spreading his thighs, but Loki only rammed their barely clothed hips together again in a painful yet appetizing surge of friction. The god hummed, sympathetic, and licked over one of Clint's nipples.

"Please," Clint begged, tugging at the green cuff of magic but finding no give, then, more forceful, "Touch me."

It was a demand and not a request, one that made Loki still and shake his head. The physical will it took for Loki to pull back was clear. He brought his hand up to rest on Clint's stomach, looking down at him like he just realized something before saying, "You are not thinking clearly. You look like mine, but you are not mine." Clint huffed, annoyed, but Loki gripped his hip. "I would give much to take you, in any universe, but not like this." With that depressing news, Loki gave Clint one more kiss and stood up, leaving Clint to shiver as air hit his sweating body. 

"Don't do this," Clint begged. "You have me here, take me, dammit. Isn't this what you wanted the whole time? Isn't this what you wanted when you-" The archer squeezed his eyes shut.

War raged through Loki's features but he only took another step back and answered, "Not like this. I have pushed you too far and I apologize. I should have known better," he pushed fingers into his short hair and shrugged, "but I do not always think clearly when you are involved either." Loki came and sat next to Clint's still sprawled body on the bed and felt the man shivering. He released the cuffs with a wave of his hand and beckoned the archer with, "Lay here," and a pat to his lap.

Clint hesitated as he pushed blearily onto one elbow, but Loki promised, "I will tell no one of this. Please." He sounded so needy, not like Clint had ever heard him before, and that made the mortal curl up on Loki's lap as the god leaned back against the wall at the head of the bed. "Thank you," Loki whispered and laid a gentle hand on Clint's neck, stroking his jaw with a thumb and singing softly until Clint finally got the sleep he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! They've both got some things to work through that sex can't really solve. Which sucks for us, I know.
> 
> I'll post one more tomorrow, Tuesday, and then it'll be regular Tuesday updates. Cool?
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint needs sleep. He doesn't get much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really tearing our baby Barton apart in this fic. I suppose that means someone will have to put him back together. Hmm... Enjoy xo
> 
> P.s. this is purely beta'd by me at this point, so all mistakes are mine.

Clint boarded the elevator in a haze. He still had sleep in his eyes and the taste of Loki's goodbye kiss on this tongue. No amount of coffee or drugs could've made sense of Clint's mind in that moment. As he rode up, the elevator stopped and opened for someone else. It didn't matter who, Clint couldn't oblige company right then.

"You okay, man? Did you see Loki yet?"

Bruce. Kind, gentle Bruce.

Clint wanted to claw his eyes out and run back downstairs and into Loki's arms and- He had to stop that train of thought right there because Loki was the enemy and the enemy would do anything to defeat you. That was what Loki was doing, whatever it took to...defeat...him. He believed it less with each second.

"Yoohoo, Clint?"

The archer blinked hard, willing away the fog in his head and looking over at Bruce. "Yeah, sorry. I talked to him. We should debrief."

He must've looked a wreck because Bruce patted him on the shoulder and said, "You should get some sleep first, Barton. We'll debrief in a couple of hours." He hopped off the elevator and continued with his day, so unaware of the implosion that was Clint's mind as he rode the lift up to his apartment on auto-pilot. When he entered, it was empty. The workers had apparently done all they could do and left, leaving behind a silence that made Clint's ears ring.

He walked down the hall, hands shaking by his sides. The blood stain was gone but the carpet was still wet. The door frame wasn't fixed but had been removed completely. There was a note on the wall next to the open hole of a door that read,  _The new door_ _will_ _be here_ _tomorrow_ _._ _I'll_ _be back to_ _install_ _it_ _whenever_ _you're_ _ready. Thanks._

Clint eyed the raw edge of wall where his door has been and wished it were that easy. He wished he could remove those parts of himself that needed to be disposed of. He wished he could gauge them out and simply replace them with shiny new ones on command. Then no one,  _especially Loki_ , could take advantage of them and use them to make him weak and vulnerable.

Clint felt undeniably exhausted. He'd slept for nearly two hours on Loki's lap, in Loki's bed, and woken up feeling better than he had in months, but then reality came crashing in and he needed to puke again. Loki had been awake, combing fingers through his hair, when he'd woke and then he'd spent nearly twenty minutes trying to convince Clint it was okay that he'd fallen asleep with him.

It wasn't.

When his raging fire was subdued to a smoldering ember, he walked out of the medical room with a heavy filter of self-loathing over his mind. He couldn't come to terms with what he'd done. He couldn't ever tell anyone- not even,  _especially_  not, Natasha. They wouldn't understand. They would think his mind was messed up again.

It was but that wasn't the point.

He couldn't ever do that again. Clint needed to find a way to keep that piece of himself quiet so it didn't scream loud enough for Loki to hear. His team was depending on him and he couldn't let his weakness fail them.

It was too much to think about. Clint needed restful sleep away from mind-altering maniacs, and he needed it now. He flopped onto his bed in his jeans and only stayed awake long enough to kick his shoes off the end of the bed, blissful blackness covering his mind.

 

_A rooftop. A_ _clear_ _blue sky and a slight breeze that trickled over the shaved_ _underside_ _of his hair. Clint understood that_ _wasn't_ _right. His hair was short but not shaved, and not long on top like he could feel it was when_ _he_ _raked_ _fingers_ _through_ _it. He stood differently, broken but not with self-hatred like he was._

_His shoulders were tight, forcefully so, in_ _hopes_ _of keeping himself_ _together_ _. He walked over to the back side of the roof, also empty, but Clint could feel there was_ _meant_ _to_ _be something there. He looked down at the roof, dirty but lacking_ _whatever_ _it was he was looking for, then up to the sky, bright and beautiful and taunting._

_"Anything?"_

_That was Steve's voice but it sounded different, like he'd been through some stuff that Clint could only guess at_ _. He turned and laid eyes on Cap. "Nothing."_

_Steve looked like Steve, except for one huge detail. His_ _throat_ _displayed a large, painful-looking scar running from one side to the other. It was faded and didn't seem to bother him,_ _but_ _it was taking all of Clint's attention. He didn't ask about it though, and he wasn't sure why._

_"I'm going to get reach out to Strange and see_ _what_ _he can do, but you should go home, Cap," Clint informed their leader._

_Steve held himself with that same righteous burning Clint knew so well. "I'm not giving up until we find him, Clint. Loki is one of us."_

_Clint_ _tried_ _to smile, but he didn't need to, not for Steve. "Thank you."_

_Steve only nodded and took off running for the edge of the roof, disappearing over the_ _side_ _and_ _leaving_ _Clint_ _alone_ _with his thoughts. The archer_ _turned_ _back to the spot he'd looked at before and an aborted_ _sound_ _creaked_ _from his mouth as he fell to his knees. "I told you it was a bad idea," Clint whispered to no one. He doubled over, forehead pressing to the roof as tears slipped down his cheeks. "_ _I'm_ _so fucking mad at you, babe, but if you come home to me safe,_ _I'll_ _forgive_ _you. No questions asked. I_ _promise_ _. Loki, please come back to me."_

Clint shot up in his bed, still on his stomach and a pile of drool on the sheet where his face was. His head was pounding and in need of pain relievers. He backed up onto his knees and stood from the bed, looking at it with betrayal in his eyes. He'd just wanted a few hours of restful, dreamless sleep and he couldn't even achieve that. The sun was setting outside his window, yet Clint felt like it should be the middle of the night with how tired he was.

He wandered over to the bathroom for meds and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Besides the dark purple bags under his eyes and the five o'clock shadow, he looked much the same as usual. His hair was short and laying untidy against his head. He didn't feel nearly as badass or as broken as he did in his dream. 

His dream. Was it a dream? It didn't feel like any other dream he'd ever had. He felt more exhausted waking up after that than he did when he fell into bed. He'd been so despondent in his dream, and about what?

_Loki, please come back to me._

_He_  had said that in his dream. Clint found it hard to believe he would say such a thing, drugged and under threat of life and limb, much less of his own free will. It had to be a dream because that would never happen. 

He tossed back a couple of pills and mechanically stripped himself for a shower. He was paler than he remembered, like his blood had better places to be. A nightmare always did that to him. But was that a nightmare? It didn't seem like one, yet he couldn't shake the feeling of hopelessness and heartache. 

Clint traced one of the larger scars, a raised pink line that ran from his left hip to his left nipple to ground himself. He'd been sliced right up the side with what was apparently the "sharpest sword in all the universe and far superior to all Avenger's weapons". Whatever, it had hurt like shit was the point. He looked at the scar in the mirror, fingers toying with the healed but still prominent mark.

In the mirror, another scar faded into view, this one directly over his sternum. It was a thin smooth line that divided his chest in half. Clint squinted at it, reaching up to touch it, but when he laid his fingers there, it disappeared. The archer rubbed his eyes harshly and opened them again. The scar was gone, leaving his mostly unmarred chest in the mirror.

"You're losing it, Barton," Clint warned himself. He turned away from the mirror and into the shower, letting the warm wealth of water drip down his tired body. He needed to wash off the events of the past day; he needed to start fresh and get his mind right if he was going to help his team.

As he shampooed his hair, he reminded himself that Loki was just another enemy. He wasn't special and he sure as fuck couldn't  _help_  Clint in any way. He was manipulative and devious and he couldn't be trusted. That Clint knew. He had to keep that in his mind every second or he'd slip, he'd fall back into what he and Loki had back in-

Anger boiled up, pooling in his arms and trailing down to his fisted hands as he swung an arm out and slammed the side of his fist into the tile wall so hard that the stone cracked. Clint startled at his own movement and leaned in to assess the damage. He really had to get a grip.

_"Mr. Barton, I apologize for intruding, but Mr. Rogers and the team are requesting your presence downstairs."_

Clint sighed; he wasn't ready for this. "Tell them I'll be down in ten. Wait no, make it fifteen."

_"Of course, sir."_

Clint rubbed his body down swiftly, rinsing and stepping out of the shower in a few minutes. He grabbed a towel, using it to dry his hair as he walked by the mirror and pointedly  _didn't_  look at himself again. He went to his drawers while he dried his body and pulled out clothes. 

What was he going to tell the team? They were going to want to know what information he got from Loki when he went down there. He didn't get much of anything, really. Maybe that was because he was too busy begging Loki to fuck him...

Ouch.

Clint shook his head of the thought. What could he tell them of value? Loki confirmed he wasn't from here. That was good. He was someone else's Loki and, hopefully soon, someone else's problem. What else? He'd mentioned that he and Clint were- Clint shuddered- together in their universe. The archer figured as much, but to hear it confirmed made his throat close up. He'd said that he was an Avenger in his universe. Laughable, but they had no proof to hold it as a lie. 

With one more steadying breath, Clint headed towards the elevator in joggers and a t-shirt, barefoot because he hated shoes and rarely wore them if he was going about the tower. The ride down was even stiffer than it had been earlier that day. At least the first time he hadn't done anything explicitly wrong, even if Loki had turned his mind into a mess just by showing up. This time, he'd truly made some mistakes; he'd  _let_  Loki into his head and enjoyed it. The team would probably lock him up if they knew.

When he arrived at the conference rooms everyone was there- everyone but Natasha. He always took Natasha's absence as a bad sign. Clint knew there weren't cameras in the med bay, so they couldn't have seen. That didn't mean Natasha didn't know. Maybe she was conferring with Fury about the next step. 

He pushed the glass door open and was greeted by stoic faces. Thor's was especially hard and Clint looked away from him immediately like Thor could see his sin on his face. Steve saved him with, "Hey, Clint. I thought Bruce said you were going to rest before this."

"Gee, thanks, Cap. I look that bad?"

"You look tired, but who isn't. Can we get this show on the road or does everyone need another minute to admire Robin from the Hood?" Tony interjected, and Clint loved him for it.

"Testy," Clint noted without bite behind it as he sat in the empty chair left for him, between Thor and Bruce. They were all quiet, looking at Clint, and the archer exhaled noisily. "I went to see him." That seemed to be what everyone wanted to hear; they leaned forward in their chairs and listening intently. "He confirmed he's not from this universe."

"How can we trust what he says?" Tony countered.

Clint nodded, understanding. "Exactly, but if you want my personal opinion, I don't think he's lying."

"Why?" Bruce asked.

_Because our Loki never let me fall asleep on his lap. Because our Loki never called me darling._ "Because he's different," Clint settled on. "He looks different."

"So, he cut his hair. That doesn't change someone."

"It's not just the physical, although he's different there, too. He mentioned he was an Avenger back home."  _And Clint's...boyfriend? lover?_ Clint smoothed sweaty palms down the tops of his thighs. "He doesn't act like our Loki."

"Is he not still the god of mischief?" Thor questioned.

Clint shrugged. "I don't know, I guess. I didn't get to that, but he speaks differently and..." He's sort of sweet. "He's not fueled by revenge."

"A trademark of our good ol' Loki," Tony agreed.

The door slid open and then Natasha was saying, "He's not our Loki." Clint turned around to see the Widow with a baton in her hand, blood crusted on the edge. 

"Nice of you to join us. Would you like to share what you ascertained?" Tony invited her to the table with a gesture of his hand. 

Natasha took it, dropped the bloodied instrument on the table and sat. Clint couldn't stop looking at it. That had to be Loki's blood. She's gone down there and beat the shit out of him to get information. Why send Clint in the first place if they were planning to torture him anyway?

"Bruce found a disturbance," Natasha began and Clint's eyes finally peeled away from the blood to Bruce. The scientist looked about as disturbed by Natasha's weapon as he did, and he knew if his face looked like Bruce's he'd be a dead giveaway, so he schooled his features and looked to Natasha. "A few agents and I went to check it out. We found a lab of questionable experiments, but after...intense interrogation we were certain they had no part in it. They confirmed that an anomaly registered on their equipment around the time we found Loki here, but it wasn't their doing."

"He is not my brother," Thor realized, voice dropping off with a crack at the end. No one reached out to him, but Clint could practically feel the pity like a blanket in the room. "I held out hope that he was alive, but I am sure now." He stood, hammer hanging loosely in his grip. "I must see him."

"Woah, there," Steve cautioned. "We don't know how he'll react to you. He's said he doesn't want to see anyone but Clint."

Tony scoffed. "And we always do what the maniacal overlord says."

"If this Loki is truly the last I will see of my brother, then I must see him. If it will smoothe proceedings, Clint I ask you to join me."

"What?" Clint threw out, still distracted by knowing that wasn't Loki's blood on the baton and hating the relief he felt. 

Thor clapped him on the shoulder. "We must go to this Loki so that I may receive closure."

"I don't really-"

"It would mean a great deal to me, Barton."

Clint hated when Thor's voice went all sincere like that. He groaned, "Okay, fine, but I don't want to talk to him."

"Great! Let us depart."

Clint sent a  _help me_  glance around the table, but no one was really in the mood to mess with a lonely, hopeful Thor so they sat back and let Thor pull him up from the table and out the door. Barely any sleep, no food on his stomach, and there Clint was, off to see the man he hated most in the world for the third time in less than twenty-four hours. He thought be might just shatter into a million piece right there in the lift and then he wouldn't have to go. 

He had no such luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Loki next chapter, whoo! Y'all know I couldn't stay away for long.
> 
> This is the last chapter for this week. I'll start doing regular updates every Tuesday. Subscribe to get notified when each comes up. Leave comments and let me know what you think so far!
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Clint visit Loki in the med bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday, peeps. Here's another one and it's tense.

Clint realized too late that Loki could get him locked up if he wanted- despite his promise. He could tell Thor everything he'd said, what he'd done, and then the team would surely put him in a dark corner and run tests on him that he didn't want to think of. He belatedly pleaded with Thor as they walked down the still empty hallway, "I don't know if I should go in there. I'll probably just be in the way."

"Nonsense, Barton. I value your presence if it will ensure my brother will converse with me."

The door to Loki's room was right there. He could feel his heartbeat start to race. He couldn't do this. He didn't want to go in there with Thor right then-  _at all_ , he meant. He didn't want to go in there at all. "Are you sure I-"

"Clint," Thor spoke firmly, stopping to face the archer. "I understand your hesitation. What my brother did to you is unforgivable, but this is not truly my brother. I am asking a great sacrifice of you, one that I will not soon forget."

_Ugh!_  He held back a lamenting groan and offered, "You're so lucky I'm a good guy."

"I am," Thor responded, too sincere and too sad.

Clint swiped his badge, the sound of the door clicking open making the blood drain from his face. He stepped back and held the door open for Thor; the blond god walked in and left Clint in the hall alone. He waited but didn't immediately hear shouting or bloodshed as he'd expected.

He went into the room before he could talk himself out of it, but the bed he'd found Loki on earlier was empty. He scanned the room and found Loki sitting on the floor in a corner, eyes open but empty. Thor was sitting on the bed in silence, waiting patiently. Clint wasn't sure what to do so he just stood at the door and let it hit him in the back when it shut.

Like Loki could sense their presence, he lowered his head and when it lifted again his eyes were present again. Those eyes landed right on Clint, seemingly ignoring his brother. "Clint. You spoil me with your visit."

The archer cheated his eyes to the wall behind Loki, not connecting with his intense gaze. "Thor asked me to come." That signaled Loki to look at the god of thunder.

"Brother," he greeted, kinder than Clint had ever heard him speak to Thor before. "I am sorry for refusing your company. You were smart to bring my hawk along."

" _Don't_  call me-"

Loki raised a hand, realizing his mistake. "Of course, Agent Barton."

"Will you speak with me now, brother?" Thor asked, fidgeting but not standing from the bed.

The god of mischief tilted his head towards Clint and raised a questioning brow. Clint realized he was asking his advice...or permission maybe. "I don't care who you talk to, Loki. I don't own you." He'd said it with more spite than he intended, but it was a soft spot with the god. Sue him.

Something about that seemed funny to Loki, who eyes twinkled as a smile lifted on his face. "Of course not, Agent Barton. You'd have no idea how to handle me."

Clint huffed a disgusted  _ugh_  and crossed his arms over his chest. "Can you two just say what you need to say so I can leave?"

Thor took the opportunity and stood from the bed, coming to stand in front of Loki, and then- much to Clint's surprise- lowering himself to sit cross-legged, mirroring Loki. "You are not my brother," Thor concluded as his opening statement.

"No," Loki offered. "You are not my Thor."

Thor lowered his head, sadness making it heavy. "Is your Thor well?" Loki's mouth twitched, obviously holding something Thor didn't want to hear on his tongue. Thor knew his own brother well enough to recognize pause in this Loki, because he prompted, "If it is harrowing news, I would still hear it."

Loki held his gaze for a long moment, assessing the truth of his words, but must have seen the sincerity in them because he sighed, sad and defeated. "We have not spoken in many years."

"Not much has changed then," Clint scoffed, only realizing too late that it was rude.

Loki only flicked his eyes to Clint before asking Thor, "Your Loki, is he not by your side in this world?"

Thor shook his head slowly. "He is no longer with me." The absolute brokenness in Thor's voice made Clint sorry he'd popped off. The archer sank back against the wall and slid down to the floor to actually listen for once.

"Did he die bravely?" Loki wondered.

"He sacrificed his life for my own," Thor answered, words drenched in unshed tears.

Loki hummed and tapped his fingers on his knees. "May I offer a word of advice?"

Thor finally raised his head and looked at Loki, tears slipping onto his cheeks. "Please," he welcomed.

"Go find me," Loki said plainly.

"I do not understand." Thor was shaking his head even as Loki kept speaking.

"I am not dead," claimed Loki, surer than anything he'd said since he'd gotten here.

Thor clenched his hammer tighter in his lap. "How can you know such a thing?"

Loki took in a deep breath, closing his eyes around it and letting it out slowly. "I would know if I were dead." It was so simple, it was almost childish.

"You mean to say you have a connection with the Loki of my world?" Thor questioned excitedly.

"Nothing so tangible, I'm afraid," Loki confessed. "I cannot feel him per say, but I am sure I am still a presence in this realm."

Clint fucking knew it. He  _knew_  Loki wasn't dead. He would've felt the weight lift if Loki were dead. Besides, Loki wouldn't be so kind as to leave this world and give Clint peace of mind. Thor leaned in, placed a hand over Loki's on his knee and squeezed. "What do you know of his current location?"

With a sad smile, Loki answered, "Nothing. If your Loki is anything like me, he is shielding himself from view."

Thor's voice was back to the authoritative, assuming way Clint knew it to be. "If you know how to find him, share it, brother."

Loki pulled his hand out from under Thor's and twirled his fingers just enough to displace Thor's hand from his knee. "I harbor no ill will towards you, but you will not demand anything of me."

"Loki, do not be selfish-"

"Do not speak to me of self-interest!" roared Loki, body still but eyes alight. He looked somehow stoic and vibrating at the same time. "I am not the same man you know, and I have lived another life, one you cannot possibly begin to understand. I owe you nothing, Odinson."

Clint realized that he'd pressed himself against the wall and his hand was on the knife at his hip. Loki slid his eyes from Thor to Clint and deflated. "I apologize, Agent Barton. You are not usually present for our little spats."

Thor stood and hovered over Loki, but the sitting god didn't take his eyes off Clint. The weight of them suddenly seemed soothing, like Loki was pushing relaxation on him through his stare. Clint felt his shoulders relax; his hand came back to his thigh.

Thor announced, "If you will not help me, I will find Loki on my own."

"Fine. Go," Loki dismissed him. "I hope that if you find him, you are more receptive to him than you are to me."

Thor's cape swished around him as he turned on his heel. He went and held a hand out for Clint. "We may go, Barton."

Clint was still staring at Loki, and Loki was still staring at him, and he couldn't explain his next words if you gave him a thousand years. "I think I'll stay for a few minutes." The look on Loki's face was pure delight.

The blond god's forehead creased, confused. "You do not need to spend any longer in this room with him. He is toxic."

Loki scoffed softly behind Thor. Clint took the offered hand and stood, but the moment he looked around Thor's shoulder, he knew he was staying. "I'm good. I'll meet you and the rest of the team in the common area for dinner, okay?"

"If you are sure..."

"He said he would like to stay, Thor. Trust him to know his own mind," Loki chastised.

Clint felt weirdly proud of Loki backing him up. It seemed that people were always questioning him, wondering about his thought process and his stability. He'd mostly blamed that on what happened years ago, like he was the weakest link and never recovered after Manhattan, but another piece seemed to think that everyone would second guess him even if he hadn't been controlled. It always rubbed him wrong, and to have someone- even if it was Loki- stand up for him made him roll his shoulders back and say, "I'll see you later, bud," to Thor.

Thor nodded but sent one more questioning glance over his shoulder before leaving and shutting the door behind him. Clint was looking at the door, couldn't quite look at Loki yet. Loki let him, sitting in the same position he'd been in since they walked in, and waiting for Clint to say something.

He knew that he had to say something; he knew that if he didn't say something soon, he'd just walk across the room and bury his face in Loki's neck. The pull was nearly enough to make him cry, so familiar and yet so at odds with everything he'd held in his mind about Loki since he was free of him. He stepped a few steps closer.

Clint cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I keep showing up without warning."

Loki was definitely smiling, Clint could hear it in his voice even if he couldn't quite look at him yet. "You are welcome where I am at any time. Though I suppose meditation isn't the most vulnerable act you could have caught me doing."

The air in Clint's chest evaporated. He coughed, caught off guard, and finally flicked his eyes to Loki. "Seriously. Do you have no shame?"

The god  _was_  smiling, Clint knew it. It pulled him closer, nearly to where Loki was sitting. "I have nothing to be ashamed of, Agent Barton. You have seen every inch of me and heard every sound. There is nothing left for me to hide."

"No," Clint countered, walking towards the dark-haired man. "No, that isn't me. I don't know you- I don't  _want_  to know you like that." It was a blatant lie, but he prayed Loki couldn't see it.

"Unfortunately," Loki added.

"What would your Clint think if he found you coming on to me?"

Loki raised a brow. "Do you really want to know?"

Clint cringed. "Nevermind. Your Clint is a freak."

"Deliciously so," Loki agreed, "but you did not come to admire my hawk."

The archer rolled his eyes. There was no arguing with Loki; he knew better. "I need to talk to you."

Loki stood slowly and brushed past Clint, eyes never leaving the archer's as their chests touched for the briefest moment, on his way to the bed. "I'd offer you a chair but they have not given me much in the way of furniture." Clint followed him to the bed and sat as far away as he could, just so he could breathe a little bit. "You very obviously do not feel comfortable being here. I'd love to know what is so vital that you would visit me again."

It needed to be said. He needed to just  _say it_. "What happened earlier-"

"Should not have happened," Loki finished, surprising Clint.

Clint scrambled for something to say; he was expecting uncomfortable banter, if not a fight. "I...agree."

"You were in obvious need and I took advantage of your vulnerability. As your dom, I should have conversed with you previously and outside of a scene as to our parameters and-"

"Woah, woah, woah. The fuck?" Clint interrupted, eyebrows in his hairline. "First, I was not ' _in need_ '. Second, you're my what?"

That made Loki smile again, but not in the slick, mischievous way he usually did. His smile was soft and proud. "Your dom. Well, not  _yours_ , but my Clint's. He has allowed me to be the one he chooses to take care of him. I assumed you saw your Loki the same way." The god was bursting with pride, practically glowing.

Clint couldn't think past that word.  _Dom_. That would make Clint his.... "I'm not a sub," he resisted, the words physically making him stand up from the bed and stumble backward. "That's," he raked a hair through his hair, "way outside my wheelhouse. I've never even met a dom before." Another lie, though not as blatant. 

"Professed or not, Agent Barton, you smell of sweet submission," Loki teased, his eyes growing darker with each word.

"That's ridiculous," Clint scoffed, voice going high and thready. "I am  _not_  a sub." He felt pinned in place, standing there frozen and numb.

Loki stood as well but didn't advance on him. "I wonder, did you share the same experiences with your Loki as I did with my Clint during our time together in Manhattan?"

Ice.

Clint's veins ran cold and he felt the frigid prickle of hate at the back of his neck. "That depends, did you steal my mind and soul with one touch of your demented glow stick, and then use me to try and kill my best friend and successfully make me kill fellow agents only to further your own selfish plan to dominate our world?" He was breathing hard when he finished, chest heaving and fists pressed to his thigh.

The god looked appropriately chastised but pressed on. "Those are not the experiences I speak of." He stepped a little closer to Clint, still holding most of the room between them, but Clint felt the shrinking distance like a bolt of electricity. "I speak of the nights spent exploring who we are together. I speak of the first time you allowed me to put my hands on you, the night I removed the thrall. I speak of the way you begged-"

"Shut up!" Clint threw at him, face red with fury. "You have no right! What you did to me that week makes me want to rip my own skin off just to...get rid of it." He finished softly, brokenly, and collapsed to the floor to curl up, arms going around his knees. He pressed his forehead to his knees and breathed as deep as he could, trying to make his head stop spinning.

"Clint," Loki whispered, and it was so close it made the archer flinch. He raised his head and Loki was on his knees in front of him. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Fuck you," Clint spat, too tired to put much force behind it.

Loki ignored it and moved to sit next to Clint. It made Clint's entire right side burn, whether it was with hate or something else, he couldn't discern. "I would be forever in your debt if you would do me the honor of telling me what happened between you and your Loki."

Clint shook his head, staring down into his arms. "I can't," he breathed, inhaling a shaky breath.

"Then I will simply sit with you, if that pleases you."

He was so lost, so confused. Clint didn't know what he wanted, but he was sure it wasn't to get up anytime soon; he wasn't even sure his legs would carry him, so he just let his forehead fall to his arms and said, "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so falling for this dynamic and I can't wait to see what comes. Next chapter Loki and Clint get a little deeper. Until then, please let me know what you think so far. Any guesses as to what will happen?
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Loki finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Tuesday, it's Tuesday! Babes, I love Tuesday's. 
> 
> Yes yes yes, this chapter! It's a turning point I think. Towards what? You'll have to wait and see. Enjoy xo
> 
> p.s. Look at the end notes for a something new I'm doing.

Clint sat there in a ball long enough for his ass to go numb. At some point, he'd stopped crying, but then he just felt like an idiot and didn't want to have to face Loki and the whole world looking at him with pity.

With a regretful sigh, he lifted his head. Loki was still sitting in the same place, still making Clint's side warm- though it was more a comfort now than it was when he first sat down. When Clint forced himself to turn and look at him, he was surprised to find Loki looking at him expectantly. There wasn't an ounce of pity in his eyes.

"I'm not going to say sorry again, but I feel like a dick," Clint started, voice hoarse from crying.

Loki's brow creased for a moment before he spoke. "You never have to apologize to me, Clint. Not ever." It was so sincere and yet sounded so easy coming out of Loki's mouth that Clint was starting to actually believe him when he said that he took care of his Clint in some far off, very different universe.

"Thanks," was all Clint could think to say, all that would really come out. He felt exhausted, truly exhausted, and realized how little he'd had to eat and how little sleep he'd gotten in the past two days. Like Loki could read his mind, he placed a cool hand on Clint's arm.

"You may lay down in my bed if you'd like." Clint was immediately shaking his head, but Loki continued. "I would not tell your friends. I only wish for your rest and health." He was wearing Clint down, and he could tell. "I won't pretend to know you, but if you are similar to my Clint, you enjoy the warmth of another body when you sleep."

He did enjoy the warmth of another body when he slept. Fuck.

"You can't tell anyone. Not Thor. No one," Clint warned, eyelids already falling heavy.

"Not a soul, I swear it."

Clint nodded and Loki helped him to stand and then placed him in the bed provided to the room, covering him with a warm blanket. He decidedly ignored the stroke Loki gave his cheek before going around the other side and sliding in behind him. For a moment, Clint tensed, but then Loki rubbed his arm in soothing strokes and the archer melted into the touch. Loki was close, but not quite touching, and it just wasn't quite enough. 

Clint grabbed Loki's hand and pulled him closer, so their bodies were flush, and tucked Loki's arm around his waist. He refused to think about what would happen if someone were to come in, if one of his teammate- if Natasha- found them like that. He just wanted to sleep, and he felt it coming on already. 

He didn't wake up for hours, and when he did, he was warm and comfortable. He sighed and pressed back into the alcove of peace that surrounded him, only to earn a delighted hum in return.

Clint froze. He was in bed with someone. He hadn't been in bed with someone since...He stopped right there and instead racked his brain for where he was and who was behind him before he opened his eyes. Just as he was piecing it together, he heard a soft, "You are safe."

He wanted to bolt, wanted to throw back the covers and jump up, but Loki was warm and he'd just slept better than he had in months, and maybe he didn't want to move dammit. The archer relaxed, spine pressing to Loki's firm chest. It was the signal Loki needed to holder him tighter and whisper, "Thank you."

Clint buried half his face in the pillow. "Don't thank me," he whispered back, afraid to break the quiet.

"I am grateful for your trust and would prefer to voice it," Loki. explained.

Clint regretfully shuffled under the blanket and Loki's arm, not dislodging it but separating them by a few inches, to turn over and look at the god. "See, yeah, I  _don't_  trust you, that's the thing." Before Loki could offer some high brow words of wisdom, Clint rattled on. "The only reason I can even stand to be here right now is that I know you're not him."

Loki's green eyes went hard, and Clint fruitlessly thought that he should have an exit plan. But then the god clenched his jaw hard, chin practically vibrating, and said, "I must have done something unspeakable to you." The words were so filled with self-hatred that Clint felt dirty just being near them. 

"You took everything from me," Clint accused, quiet but strong.

It was Loki that time that cast his eyes downward, looking at Clint's shoulder. "Did I not...fix it?"

Clint scoffed and pushed away from the god, throwing the blanket away and slipping out from under Loki's arm to sit on the edge of the bed, facing the wall. "How could you fix that?"

"I do not know what  _that_  is," Loki complained, exasperated. The entire time he'd been here, Loki had been the picture of calm in front of Clint, but it felt good to see that façade crumble a bit. 

"I'm sure your reality is similar enough to mine for you to guess," spat Clint.

There was shifting behind the archer as Loki had sat up. "Yet my Clint is the love of my life and I would go to war for his honor." Clint didn't want to hear it, couldn't take it. It wasn't fair. He stood up abruptly and walked towards the door. The bed creaked and then Loki's frantic, "Please, wait," stopped him. Clint didn't turn around.

Loki spoke again, "If our realities are similar indeed, then I can only imagine the heartache your Loki feels at the hatred you harbor towards him."

Clint barked a humorless laugh and spun around, metaphorical steam swirling off his head. "That monster feels  _nothing_! He stole my mind," Clint tapped furiously at his temple, "and my will and then had the  _gall_  to steal my heart!" He turned and swung a fist out, punching the wall and denting the plaster. "That monster used me and told me that he cared about me and then  _left me_  there on that helicarrier to go back to my old life like nothing happened."

It was spilling now and he couldn't temper the flow. "He showed me things I'd never even dreamt of. He told me things I couldn't possibly understand. He made me question everything about myself, my life, and then ghosted me like a scared little boy." Clint sank to his knees, breathing hard and barely holding back tears. "That week with him was the best week of my life and I can't tell anyone." 

He fell onto his hands, on all fours and staring at the floor. "I spent years without him, trying to forget what I learned about myself, trying to fix myself. Then, they told me he was dead and..." He collapsed forward, burying his face in his hands. "Fuck!" he screamed, muffled against his skin. 

Then, Loki's hand was on his back, rubbing soothingly up and down his spine and Clint flinched away. He sat back on his haunches and rubbed away the wet evidence of the weight he'd been carrying for years. "I swear I never cry this much." Loki chuckled but didn't say anything. Clint wrung his hands together, glaring at them. "I guess that's not really how things went down for you and your Clint?"

"No, I am relieved to say it ended very differently," Loki confirmed.

"How?" Clint begged, swallowing down the desperation he heard in his voice.

Loki swirled his fingers and warmth slipped around Clint, relaxing his shoulders and making him slump back against the door. "I did take him but I did not leave him." The god got into the same position Clint had found him when he and Thor walked in on him, seeming to settle in for a story. "I saw into his mind and I was awed by him. He was the strongest, purest man I'd ever met. And he did not see 'a monster'," Loki emphasized the words for Clint, "when he looked at me." Clint dared a look over at the god, and Loki was looking right back at him, a small smile gracing his features. "I could hardly wait to be alone with him and remove my influence."

"Did you?"

"I did," Loki told him, smiling wider. "He did not run like I expected, like I almost wished he had." At Clint's look of confusion, Loki answered, "I knew I would ruin him and I thought it better if he left, but I was not brave enough to grant his leave so I hoped he would take the chance and run."

"What did he do?" Clint wondered, shifting into a more comfortable position.

Loki's eyes lit up. "He kissed me."

That, at least, was familiar. Clint remembered doing it. He inserted his point of view. "I'd seen into his head just like he saw into mine. I saw the way he thought about me. I'd never felt that from anyone before." He scoffed. "Not like I'm a hopeless loser who's never dated, but no one had ever accepted me so fully before," he urged, hand gripping at the air like it was tangible. "I didn't feel any judgment or assumption like I did from nearly everyone else in my life."

"Except Natasha," they both added and then their eyes went wide. If Clint didn't know any better, he'd say Loki was blushing.

"You have mentioned something like this before, and I know of your great respect for your friend," the god informed him. "Please, keep going."

With another encouraging nod from Loki, the archer did. "I kissed him," Clint admitted and bit down on his lip, worrying it between his teeth.

"What did I do?" Loki asked.

The memory made Clint lick his lips and he couldn't quite look Loki in the eye, as if the information would somehow make it back to his Loki. "You sighed like..." He bit his lip again, thinking. "Like you'd waited your whole life for it."

Loki hummed. "Yes, that I remember."

"Yeah?"

"Very clearly. We didn't speak that night, not a word, but-" He huffed a laugh. "I knew exactly what you needed."

"Even without the scepter," Clint supplemented. Loki nodded. "The way you- he touched me." The archer's lids got heavy. "Possessive and hungry."

"I was," Loki added. "The way you responded to my touch...No creature has ever given me that desire."

They were leaning towards each other without realizing, their shoulders brushing. Clint's voice was barely audible when he spoke. "You leaned over me and whispered in my ear-"

Loki growled. "Mine." 

Clint nodded, hands rubbing down his thighs to wipe the sweat away. "I should've been so pissed, but I wasn't. In that moment, it was true- truer than the entire time you kept me in that goddamn haze, truer than anything I'd done since I joined S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Did I enact the scepter's power again afterward?"

This was were Clint got ashamed of himself every time he thought back over that week. "Not immediately," he confessed. The night together- the passionate, wild sex- he could write off as a mix between thinking with the wrong head and fear of what Loki would do to him if he refused- however untrue it might be- but after, when Loki offered him his freedom in exchange for his companionship, and Clint accepted- well, there's no excuse for that.

"You told me that you wanted me to stand beside you."

"And you agreed," Loki certified. "But you'd changed my mind on so many things that night."

"You said that you didn't want to go through with the invasion."

"I put you in danger by admitting such things to you."

Clint rolled his eyes. "You said that back then, too." He reached out and took Loki's hand. "The Other threatened you, but we had a plan."

Loki leaned over just the tiniest bit and kissed Clint's shoulder. "To sabotage the invasion and save your world."

"We were going to pull it off, too. I snuck in suggestions to Selvig to rig the thing so he could shut it down later. Then, I don't know...A few nights after that you changed. You went away like you did sometimes, eyes blank and everything, but this time when you came back, you were angrier than I'd ever seen you and cold like when I met you in the warehouse."

Loki was shaking his head. "That is not my reality. We did sabotage the invasion. You testified to my father on my behalf and saved my life. You convinced the Avengers to give me the chance I never gave them. You chose me."

"Then what happened?" Clint demanded, squeezing Loki's hand tight. "What went wrong? You'd kissed me that night like it was the last time, even though you made sure to spend the few days we had left together doing nothing but kissing me. That's when you started to show me everything. You were so powerful, it made my knees shake."

The god turned Clint's hand over and ran smooth, soft fingertips along the sensitive underside of his wrist. "Did I collar you? That is your favorite."

Clint's brows shot up, then he cringed internally at the instant intrigue he felt. He should be running when someone like Loki said things like that, but he didn't move. "What? No. Nothing like that, but he didn't need a collar. He held me down and made me beg him to let me come. I would sit at his feet sometimes while he planned and he'd...pet me.

He'd slide into bed with me and cover my body with his and that's when I found out I liked sleeping with someone's weight and warmth on me." Clint's eyes drooped closed; he could see it all like a movie in his head. "He gave me something I didn't even know I needed. I genuinely thought I could stay like that forever." 

He opened his eyes again, a crease forming between his brows. "Stupid," he chastised. "Then he woke up one morning, said the plan had changed and touched me with that fucking stick. He didn't even kiss me one more time. I felt myself shrinking inside my head, screaming for him to take it back." Clint took a long deep breath and finished, "Then we attacked the helicarrier and he left me there to deal with everything by myself. He was shipped off to Asgard and I didn't even get to ask him  _why_."

The archer let go of Loki's hand to rake it through his hair, sticking it up in crazy directions. "He left me here and I couldn't sleep; I couldn't get him out of my head." He groaned, frustrated. "I tried to get that feeling back, but I didn't even know what it was. I tried a few things with Natasha- she never asked why, but I think maybe she knew- but it wasn't the same."

"Because I am your dom, not Romanov," Loki growled like he couldn't help. 

Clint warned, "Don't start that shit again. You already fucked me up enough as it is, I don't need to have any more weird flaws."

"Being a submissive is  _not_  a flaw," commanded the god, leaving no room for argument.

"Right, well, that's not me, so it doesn't matter. I am many things, Loki, but a sub is not-"

There was a bang on the door, making Clint startle. Loki just sighed and said, "He does not like me." 

Before Clint could ask who he meant, Tony's voice filtered through the door. "Hey, Clint. I know you're still in there because F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn't see you leave. Thor made me promise not to come down here two hours ago, but now I'm slightly afraid you're dead. Not that you're not a primo fighter, pal, but he's Loki, you know, and the power dampeners in the room aren't enough to-"

"Shut up, Stark. I'm fine," Clint barked. "What do you want?"

Tony's voice was softer when he said, "It's dinner time and the team's waiting for you."

Clint turned his wrist over and looked at his watch. It was nearly seven p.m. "Oh, wow. Um.." He looked to Loki and then huffed, sorting his next words carefully. "You hungry?"

Loki looked surprised but pleased. "Very," he admitted.

"Okay, then, yeah. We're going to just go eat with the team. That's normal. It's fine," Clint rambled as he stood. Loki stood up as well and moved back so the archer could open the door.

"Loki's coming to dinner," Clint shot out before he could stop himself. When Tony's mouth immediately opened, Clint held up a hand. "I don't want to hear it. This isn't the same Loki, and you've kept him in this room for two days. He's hungry. We're eating."

With that, Clint walked around Tony and out towards the elevator. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a sucker for dom!Loki. I mean, who isn't? 
> 
> Okay so! 
> 
> SIDE NOTE: I'm really in the mood to fulfill some smut prompts. I'm thinking about making a collection like I did way back for 1D. If you have a request (a ship, a kink, an AU, or all of them) comment or send me a message! 
> 
> Rules: Nothing under 16, no rape/non-con (dub-con I can work with), and no watersports or tentacles. Other than that, BRING IT ON!
> 
> Also, comment just to let me know how you feel about Clint and Loki's relationship so far.
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward family encounters are the worst...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL it's Tuesday and time for another update! I'm finally getting to a place in writing the story that gets into the stuff Clint really wants, so stay tuned through the next couple chapters to see that. 
> 
> This is my first full-length Frosthawk endeavor and I'm so glad that it's going well. If you're enjoying it, or even if you feel something's missing, leave it in the comments and I WILL read it. Thank you so much for the support thus far! I just looked today and we've reached over 500 hits! Booyah!
> 
> Enjoy xo

Awkward wasn't the word Clint was looking for. 

The team was sat around the large dining table in the common area, sans Thor. Tony was at the head like some sort of regal supervisor of events. He never sat there, preferred to be between Steve and Bruce for reasons Clint smirked at, but tonight he was standing while Natasha and Bruce- the cooks of the team- lowered large plates of food onto the table, looking over proceedings with a sharp gaze.

Steve was sat directly across from Loki, elbows on the table and fingers steepled in front of his mouth. He seemed to be assessing Loki as well, though not as maliciously as Stark. He kept flicking his eyes back and forth between Clint and Loki. Natasha came to sit next to Clint on the opposite side as Loki, and Clint could've kissed her for how grateful he was. He thought for a minute it'd really be just him and Loki on their side of the table. 

Bruce sat at Tony's right side, leaving the place Tony usual sat open between him and Steve and reached a hand up. "Tony, please," he insisted and tugged at him while he nodded to his regular seat. Tony narrowed his eyes at Loki, but with another tug from Bruce and a quiet,  _Tony_ , from Steve, he relented and came to sit in his usual spot. It wasn't lost on the table that Thor was absent and that Loki was sitting in Thor's usual spot.

Bizarre! That was the word Clint was looking for.

They passed out food in silence, and Loki- the bastard- filled his plate with an amiable ease that made Clint envious. They made it a whole ten minutes before Tony slapped his fork down onto his plate with a clatter and slammed a fist down on the table. "Why is he here?" Tony barked at Clint. Steve's hand immediately went to Tony's leg under the table, a warning and a comfort. 

"I invited him," Clint spoke evenly, a challenge. 

"Why? What did he do to you to make you forget what he did to you, to  _me_."

Tony was right. Everyone focused so much on what Loki had done to Clint, but they always forgot that Tony rode a nuclear missile head into space and nearly died because of Loki, not to mention the damage to his tower and the threat Loki had placed on his friends and employees. In the dark times, the thought that Stark had it pretty bad, too, was the only reason Clint stayed sane.

"I haven't forgotten, Tony," Clint assured, "but this isn't that Loki." Loki had kept wisely quiet from the moment he stepped off the elevator with a nervous Clint and a fuming Tony, but then went and Clint pointed him out.

He locked eyes with Tony and tried to impress his regret. "I have committed my fair share of sins, Tony, but I am not the man to whom your vengeance belongs."

Tony tried to stand but Steve's strong grip sat him back down, and then Bruce's soft touch was rubbing his back. "You don't-" Tony wiped his mouth like the filth of the moment could be cleaned away with the simple gesture. "You don't get to talk to me."

"Maybe you should tell us how your Manhattan went down," Natasha suggested as she swirled a fork full of pasta, cool as ever. "I assume it's different because Clint mentioned you're an Avenger in your world."

Loki turned to her and Clint could see the clear look of relief on his face. "It is. The biggest difference is that Clint gave me an opportunity to change my loyalties." The god's eyes flicked to Clint for a heart-stopping moment of intimacy before turning back to the table. "We undermined the Chitauri plans, and the Avengers and I came together to stop the invasion before it started." 

"Bullshit," Tony spat.

"Tony," Steve murmured, somehow hard as steel and soft enough to make Tony deflate in his seat like a petulant child.

"Has Clint told you what our Loki did instead?" Bruce asked.

Loki nodded and lowered his hands to his lap. "He has. It was difficult to hear that I would ever do something to betray Clint's trust and to hurt those that have become like family to me."

"Oh come on!" Tony stood and then Steve was standing, pulling Tony to him.

"Let take a walk, huh, Tony?" Steve suggested.

Tony waved a hand towards Loki's dark form. "You can't seriously be listening to this?"

Bruce stood then and covered the other half of Tony that Steve wasn't and put a hand to Tony's chest. "Why don't you and Steve go for a walk, Tony." It wasn't a question that time. Tony looked between the two men and huffed, defeated. 

Tony scoffed, "Whatever," then let Steve wrap an arm around him and lead him away from the table.

Steve turned back and reached a hand out to Bruce. "Coming?"

"In a minute," he told the blond, and Steve nodded before taking Tony to the elevator. Once they were inside and out of sight, Bruce sat back down at the table and raked a hand through his hair. "You have to understand what he's been through."

Loki nodded. "I don't pretend to truly understand, but I can imagine and I hold nothing against him for his actions. I only wish it wasn't as it is. I count my Tony as a friend and my Steve as a brother." He smirked and looked at Bruce through his thick, black lashes. "Though I do not hold them as closely and my Bruce holds them in my universe. I see you have found the same comfort."

Bruce wasn't Tony and he wasn't Steve. He didn't rise to quips and gossip; he simply moved on. "Do you have a plan to get home?" he asked.

"Not as of yet. I was hoping to garner your expertise. Possibly Stephen Strange's if he is available, though he rarely is."

"Strange?" Clint asked.

Loki noted the confusion and supplied, "I suppose that is different as well."

"Who is Stephen Strange?" Bruce questioned.

"He is a powerful sorcerer of magic and became a close friend after I taught him the ways of Asgardian meditation. I suppose my Avengers would have already called on him to seek me out after I disappeared," Loki informed them.

Bruce tilted his head, considering. "F.R.I.D.A.Y.?"

_"There are thirteen Stephen Strange's in the world, sir. A search is being conducted as we speak. I will let you know what I find."_

"Thanks." 

Loki leaned his arms on the table and asked, "Where has my brother gone to?"

"He said something about finding you just after he came back from his visit with...you, and then flew off," Natasha told him. "He's a temperamental one."

"I always did find your intelligence to be keen," Loki complimented and sent her a wry smile. 

She didn't smile back, only offered him a blank, unreadable face before rolling her eyes and sitting back in her chair. "What did he mean, he went to find you?" she asked. " _You_  you are right here, and his Loki is dead. What does he think he's going to find?"

"Oh, that's probably because Loki told him that he's not dead," Clint shared like he was asking for dessert, but his eyes were too wide, slightly manic. "I mean, this Loki told him that our Loki isn't dead," he clarified, hands waving while he explained. "I don't know."

"What?" Bruce demanded, finally showing something other than calm. "What do you mean you're not dead?"

"I mean simply that," Loki admitted. "I still feel the life force of my kindred soul and I can guarantee you that your Loki has not left this universe."

"Does Thor know where he is?" asked Bruce. "Where did he go, Loki?"

"That I do not know. Though if I were...me, I know where I'd go."

Clint raised a brow. "Oh, yeah? Where's that?"

***

The intense, colorful entity of the Bifrost deposited Thor back on familiar ground. He tumbled into the gold orb that served as the only entrance and exit to and from his home, the realm he'd been ignoring far longer than he had any right to. At the center of the raised platform stood a distracted man in armor that was many sizes too big for his frame.

"Who are you? Where's Heimdall?" Thor barked, though after he said it, he realized it wasn't of priority. "Nevermind." He walked around the platform and swirled his hammer.

"Whoa, there. Hold on a moment," the guy urged, making Thor pause just before he took off. "Who are you?"

Thor scoffed. The man must be of common birth to not have seen his face and of little intelligence not to recognize him merely by reputation. "I am Thor Odinson, the rightful heir of Asgard. I need to speak to my father immediately."

The man's face went bright red when he realized his mistake. "Of course, your highness. I just need to announce your arrival."

"No need," Thor countered and swung his hammer again.

"No, wait, I am supposed to-" But Thor was already a distant swish in the wind. "Dammit," he cursed and clunked after him. 

Thor landed in the main courtyard of the castle he was born and raised in. Nothing had changed in the foundation, yet everything seemed different. The decor was different, louder, brighter- garish. He walked through a crowd of people, confused as to the occasion. Most recognized him, but the anger burning his features must have scared them off because they parted to allow him passage instead of greeting him. 

He made his way to the front of the crowd and stopped still at the sight. Asgardian performers had taken the stage and were playing out some offensive version of Thor's loss, of Loki's death. His rage only boiled hotter, competing with his confusion as he pushed past the few attendants surrounding the royal seat to come face to face with his father.

No, not his father. That Thor ascertained pretty quickly. He had never in his many years ever seen his father  _lounge_. "Father," he greeted. When Odin met his gaze, he startled.

"My son, Thor, has returned! Greetings, my boy!" 

That son of a bitch.

Thor sauntered over to where "his father" was standing and raised a brow. "How have you been?"

"Oh, good, good..." he answered, his hands fidgeting in front of him. "And yourself?"

Thor tilted his head, thinking. "Busy. Always learning new things."

"Right, yes. So...it's back to Midgard for you, is it?"

Thor tossed his hammer up and watched it spiral back into his hand. "Nope. I met a new friend recently. Thin, black hair, kinda slimy." Odin's face started to take on a concerned look. Thor reveled in it. "He reminds me of someone I know, though his wisdom extends far beyond the one I grew up with." Odin toyed with his fingers. Thor's chest puffed out. "My new friend told me something."

"Oh?"

"Yes." Thor threw his hammer out in front of him a few yards and called it back. "He informed me that while I was grieving the loss of my brother and fighting for the integrity of Asgard, it turns out that my brother is not dead."

The facade of Odin's face crinkled in surprise. "That is  _news_! Thor, that is grand news."

"It is, isn't it?"

Odin scratched his stomach idly. "Indeed."

Thor leveled him with a look. "You are really going to make me do it?"

"Do what?" Odin asked. 

Thor sighed and threw his hammer out into the distant Asgardian landscape and stepped behind Odin's figure. He placed two thick hands on his father's shoulders, and reminded, "You know that nothing will stop Mjolnir as it returns to my hand." He shoved a hand to the back of Odin's neck. "Not even your face."

The fear radiating off the older man was palpable. "You've gone quite mad. You will be executed for this."

He was holding to character remarkably well, Thor gave him that. "Then I will see you on the other side." He leaned in and whispered, just for them, "Brother."

The hammer was making a tremendous return, barreling through the air towards Odin's face. It came within feet and Loki shimmered back into his true form and yelled, "Alright, I yield!" Thor quickly pushed him away and caught the hammer in his hand smoothly. The whole of the gathered crowd gasped.

Loki turned to Thor, smiled and huffed a laugh like they were sharing a joke. Just then, the man who disgraced Heimdall's post came ripping through the crowd. "Behold! Thor," he heaved a breath, "Odinson."

"No," Loki interrupted and turned to the man, holding up a finger to scold him. "You had one job, just the one."

"Why Loki?"

His brother turned back to him, angry. "You just couldn't stay away, could you? Everything was fine. Asgard was prospering. You've ruined everything. Ask them," he motioned to the crowd.

Thor growled, pissed, and advanced on his brother, making Loki stumbled backward. "You had me think you dead!" 

Loki fell onto the royal seat and put his hands up in surrender. "You had what you wanted. You had the independence you asked for."

"I grieved you," he seethed and pressed his hammer to Loki's chest, making the dark-haired god squeak out an  _ow_. 

"Okay. I know I have hurt you."

Thor shook his head, disbelieving. "Why?"

Loki motioned to the hammer and Thor lifted it from where it was holding Loki in place. The god of mischief sighed. "Can we have this discussion somewhere a bit more private?" he asked, making Thor look around at his people. He nodded and swung his hammer, taking off before Loki could say a word.

Loki opened his arms wide to address the crowd, "There is much to be discussed with Prince Thor. If you'll excuse me." He disappeared from them and reappeared in his old room in the palace. Even if Thor didn't say where he was going, Loki knew. It was where every row they'd ever had was settled.

Thor was always the one to break and come to his room to talk, they'd hash it out and then sit on Loki's bed drinking mead into the daylight hours. This was no different, Loki realized when he reappeared on his balcony and saw Thor sitting at the end of his bed with his head in his hands, hammer sitting on the floor next to him. 

"Thor?" Loki tried.

The blond lifted his head and there were tears tracking down his cheeks. "Now will you answer me?"

Loki's brows furrowed. "To what end?" 

Thor rose, fire in his veins but when he approached Loki, he cupped both cheeks tightly in his hands. "Why?" he begged.

Loki swatted his hands away and brushed his hair back from his face. "You are better off without me."

"You know that's not true, Loki. I will never fair better at the demise of my brother."

"Tell that to your new best friends!" Loki shouted but quickly caught himself and tugged at the lapels of his shirt. 

Thor squinted at him, assessing, and then his mouth fell open. "Are you jealous of the Avengers?"

Loki scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Do not be ridiculous. I care nothing of those feeble humans."

"You are," Thor beamed but then his face turned dark. "You falsified your death and let me grieve for years because of  _jealousy_?"

"It was not jealousy, Thor. I had many reasons," Loki insisted. "You desired freedom and I desired a home. We both got what we wanted."

The god of thunder tugged Loki into a bear hug. "Loki," he sighed against his hair, "I am your home and the news that you live is my freedom."

Thor swore he heard Loki gasp, but it was buried in his neck and he couldn't be sure. Loki patted Thor on the back awkwardly and taunted, "You were always so emotional."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a fucking sucker for Thor and Loki's relationship (*shameless plug* I did happen to write a Thorki oneshot recently if you're into that called ''Til Asgard's Mountains Crumble to the Sea': https://archiveofourown.org/works/19229785)
> 
> Also, I gave y'all a tiny bit of a side ship in the Avengers to mull over. More to come. I'd love to hear feedback and get some kudos if you liked this chapter. Thanks a bunch, guys!
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint goes searching and finds her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff is starting to make more sense. I think. Idk.
> 
> I'm currently traveling so I apologize if this looks wonky in any way. Enjoy xo

Clint's room was just barely beginning to be colored with the unmistakable white-yellow of the sun as it reached a higher place in the mid-morning sky. He'd slept okay, mostly because he could still feel the phantom weight of Loki's arm around his waist, but he'd been awake since around six a.m. and he'd spent the few hours since then just starring and thinking. He hadn't decided a single thing.

Thor had been gone for over twelve hours and they probably shouldn't expect him back for a while. Time was so different on Asgard and this wouldn't be the first time he'd promised to only be gone for a little bit and then be gone for months. In the meantime, Clint wanted to take the opportunity to confront Loki and get him out of his system. He just didn't know how.

During their "walk", Steve had convinced Tony to give Loki a room in the tower while they figure out what to do about him. He was only two floors from Clint, just far enough to way to make the archer itch to see him. After their confession session in the med bay yesterday, he was confused and lost in his thoughts.

_"Sir?"_

Clint groaned but didn't stop staring aimlessly at the ceiling above his bed to answer, "Yeah, F.R.I.D.A.Y."

_"Mr. Stark has authorized the repairwoman to replace your door. She is on her way up."_

"Boy am I glad he doesn't need my permission to let people into my apartment," he quipped but then huffed. "Yeah, whatever. Send her in." 

A few minutes later he heard a polite, "Mr. Barton?"

"Yeah, don't mind me."

She didn't and started setting up her tools as she leaned the new door against the wall. Clint pushed himself up on his pillows just enough to watch her work. She disappeared from view and came back with other wooden pieces, the frame he assumed. She looked so content, working a job that she was good at. Simple, quiet, one step after another until the job was done.

"What's your name?" Clint asked, breaking the silence. 

She didn't look up from her work when she said, "Jenny."

Clint pursed his lips in thought and shuffled to get more comfortable on his bed, letting the silence sit between them while he put his thoughts in order. "So, Jenny..." 

When he didn't expound on those two words, Jenny turned to look at him and asked, "Something on your mind?"

He huffed and scooted to the end of the bed to slump his elbows onto his knees. "Do you know anything about BDSM?"

That pulled a surprised laughed from the repairwoman. "I know a bit," she admitted as she went back to knocking the door frame into place. She waved her hammer towards him, "Is your dom ticking you off?"

Clint's eyebrows shot up. "What makes you think I have a dom? What makes you think I'm not a dom?"

Jenny pulled her lip between her teeth, narrowing her eyes before she said cautiously, "I didn't mean to assume. You just scream sub to me, and when you asked I thought you were having some relationship troubles." She started on the door hinges. "My baby girl always gets that tone in her voice when I've done something she's not happy about."

He sat up, more alert, and questioned, "You're a dom?"

She raised a brow of her own and shot back, "You bet. Proud caretaker of one sassy baby girl."

Clint threw his hands into the air. "Is everyone in on this thing?"

"What thing?" she asked.

The archer stood and came over to stand by Jenny, leaning against the wall. "This dom/sub thing." He picked at a hangnail and refused to look at her. "I sort of thought it was, you know..."

"I don't," she pushed while she screwed in the last hinge. 

Clint rolled his eyes. "Depraved, disgusting, weak. All the things people say!"

Jenny caught his eye and held it. "You've been hanging out with the wrong people."

"Yeah, well," he rubbed at his eye and scratched his five o'clock shadow, fidgeting, "it's mostly me that says that."

She hummed, understanding, and crossed her arms across her chest, screwdriver hanging from one hand. "New to the community?" she wondered.

"I'm not in the community," he answered. "I'm not even...I don't know what I am."

"Got it," she realized. "Hey, if you want I can ask Charlotte- my partner- to answer some questions. You know, from a sub's point of view. Maybe she can clear things up for you."

Clint watched her, looking for any signs of pity or judgment, but Jenny was waiting expectantly, open and honest. "Yeah," he told her before he could overthink it. "I'd like that. Thanks, Jenny."

"Of course. We've got to support each other. That's the beauty of the community."

He felt a little lighter, a little hopeful, at having a source to help him figure this out that wasn't Loki, that didn't make him want to bend over and present like he was a backwoods, feral cat. He needed a clear head to begin to understand the things he was feeling. He needed help.

God, he hated admitting that- even in his head.

He must have been staring because Jenny waved a hand in his face and said, "Mr. Barton?"

"Yeah, sorry? And, please, call me Clint."

Jenny nodded. "Clint, then. When would you like her to stop by?"

"Oh, uh," he looked at his watch. It was still early. "Is she free sometime today?"

The repairwoman chuckled but nodded. "I think so. Let me double-check she's at home, though?" She pulled out her phone and started typing.

"Yeah, sure, sure," he allowed, realizing that he must seem pushy. He backed up a couple of steps and said, "I'll just let you finish up." He had just turned back to his bed when he remembered. "Oh, by the way. I hope you're up for another job."

She eyed him. "What else did you break?"

"Firstly," Clint held a finger and cocked a hip, "I didn't break my own door down. That was Tony- or Steve, I'm not sure. Second-" He held up his other finger but then winced. "I sort of cracked the tile in my shower when I punched it yesterday."

"Punched it, huh?" she questioned.

He raked a hand through his hair and diverted his eyes around the room. "I've been tense."

"I noticed," she agreed. "Does that have anything to do with the person who _is not_  your dom?"

Clint laughed, aware of how obvious he was. "Maybe."

"Maybe," she repeated, knowingly. Jenny's phone dinged and she checked it. "Looks like she's printing off some stuff for the business, but she can swing by in about an hour."

When Jenny looked to him for confirmation, Clint nodded quickly. "That sounds great. Yeah, good." He clapped his hands awkwardly, walking over to his dresser to change out of his boxers and last night's t-shirt. "Okay, then," he said as he faced the drawers. "It's a date." He opened the drawers and started shuffling things around, unseeing and uncaring. "Just a totally normal everyday meeting." He wiped away the sweat that suddenly prickled at his hairline. "About being submissive." He swallowed. "Not a big deal."

"It's really not." Jenny's voice made Clint jump, and it said something about his mental state that he didn't hear her approach. If she were Natasha, he'd have a knife to his throat right now.

The archer turned and nodded, unsure. "It feels like it is."

Jenny shrugged then. "Well, maybe it is, but not how you're thinking." She placed a comforting hand on Clint's arm and he instinctively leaned into it. "It doesn't change who you are. People don't become subs overnight. Generally, it's something that's always been in there, and now you've found a way to express it."

"You make it sound like I'm coming out of the closet- which," he rolled his eyes, "is a completely different breakdown that I'd prefer not to relive."

She laughed and nodded. "That I get, but can I say something?"

"I think we've established an open dialogue by now, Jenny," Clint observed, making Jenny smile.

"It's not about the person's gender. It really doesn't have anything to do with who they are outside of a scene at all." She threw the hand on his shoulder into the air. "Hell, you don't even have to like your dom," she pointed at him, "but you do have to trust them. At least with this."

"I don't even have to like them..." Clint murmured, thinking.

"I mean, it's way better if you do, but if they give you what you need and take care of you, then who cares what happens outside of that, right?"

Clint sighed. "Right, I guess."

Jenny thumbed behind her. "I'm going to finish your door and then I've got to pick up some supplies for another job."

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead." 

She went back to the open threshold but added. "I'll put in a work order for your shower and I should be able to come fix it pretty soon. That Tony Stark doesn't like to wait."

"No, he does not. Thanks, Jenny."

She offered him a soft smile. "Anytime," she offered, and he knew it was for more than a repair job.  
  
  
  


_"Mr. Barton, Charlotte is here. Shall I send her up?"_ F.R.I.D.A.Y. was really getting her workout today. Clint never had visitors, and he'd had two so far today.

He was in the kitchen, fully dressed- not in sweats- and his hair was combed back into a tame quiff. He didn't really know how to cook, but his mom always told him that if someone was doing him a favor, he should make them as comfortable as possible while they did it. So, he'd cut up some fruit and made a salad that he thought looked genuinely good.

"Yeah, thanks, FRIDAY." He sliced the last of the kiwi and dropped it in the bowl, using the wooden fork and spoon to mix up the sweet-smelling delicacies. He dropped his knife into the sink and grabbed two bowls and two forks, rushing to set them at his kitchen island. Just as he placed the large bowl of fruit down, the elevator dinged and he heard faint footsteps around the corner. 

He walked towards the entryway to greet his guest and was surprised by what he saw. Charlotte was short, barely to Clint's shoulder, and he wondered how the height difference between her and the very tall Jenny played out in the bedroom. Beyond that, Charlotte was dressed in a professional, well-fitting knee-length dress that smoothed down her thighs and nipped in around her knees. Her heels were high and sleek, which made her all that much shorter out of them. 

This woman didn't look deviant, disgusting, or weak. She was hot. All chocolate skin and bright teeth. Clint raised two very interested eyebrows. "Charlotte?" he wondered. 

She held out a hand, enthusiastic and confident. "That's me. Clint, right?"

He took the hand and received a strong shake. "Wow," he muttered stupidly as he let his eyes slide down and back up the petite woman.

Charlotte pointed two fingers at him and flicked them up towards the ceiling. "Eyes up here, bud."

Clint felt his cheeks go pink and he yanked his hand away. "I'm so sorry. I just wasn't expecting..."

"A put-together, confident woman? Yeah, most men don't."

The archer waved his hands urgently. "No, no, that's not what I-"

"I'm teasing you, babe. Relax." She lifted her sleek bag from her shoulder and hung it up by Clint's jacket in the hall. "Can we sit somewhere?"

"Of course, yeah." Clint hopped to and led her into the kitchen. "I made us a snack in case you're hungry."

"I am actually. Thanks so much." She pulled herself up onto the tall stool and then kicked her heels off so they landed underneath her. "Yum, fruit." Clint was still standing behind her, wide-eyed and taken aback. Charlotte turned back and nodded her head at the other stool. "Don't make me eat by myself."

Clint scrambled to his stool and dished his own bunch of fruit into his bowl. Charlotte crossed one delicate leg over the other and slanted to face him in her chair, spearing a slice of strawberry and popping it between her bright pink lips. "You look stressed, Clint."

He was stressed. Jesus, this was already the most nerve-wracking thing he'd ever done- and he'd infiltrated the Chinese underground nuclear labs a few years back. Now, not only did he have to admit his shortcomings to someone, but he had to do it while fighting back the urge to lick Charlotte's dark, strong arms and prominent collarbones. 

"I am," he admitted. "Can I be honest?"

"Always," Charlotte permitted. 

"You are stunning."

"That's not honesty, Clint, that's flattery. Jenny did tell you I'm taken, right?"

Clint nodded, rushing to explain. "Yeah, of course. No, I mean- you are breathtaking."

"You mentioned. That's not what you really want to say, though, is it?"

He pushed his bowl away to set his arm on the counter and lean forward. "How do you do it?"

"What exactly?" she asked.

"Keep it together," he urged. "How do you look so confident and calm? How are you not freaking out?"

Charlotte's face scrunched up in confusion. "Why would I be, Clint?"

He took a deep breath, opening his mouth to say something, closing it again, then trying one more time. "I can't do anything. I can't think, I can't fucking breath." He mimed throttling himself. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."

She hummed and nodded, reaching out to place a hand on his knee. "Have you allowed yourself to be taken care of recently?"

Clint licked his lips. "What do you mean?"

The woman looked at him expectantly. "I mean, when was the last time you played? Went under?"

Clint shook his head slowly. "I'm lost."

"How new are you to the community?" Charlotte wondered. 

"I'm not part of this community thing? I don't know what it is."

Charlotte nodded once. "Right. Can we get a little more comfortable?"

Clint's mouth dropped open. "Yeah- yeah, sure." He stood up abruptly and moved to take his shirt off.

"Woah there, kiddo," Charlotte halted him and lowered his arms and shirt back down. "I meant maybe a seat on the couch so we can talk?"

The archer squeezed his eyes shut tight and wished the ground would just swallow him up. "I knew that." He rubbed his arm nervously. "I swear, I'm not usually this dumb. I'm just really nervous."

Charlotte touched his arm, making him open his eyes. She was close, looking up at him with a smirk. "You're cute, Clint Barton. I might have to talk to Jenny about you." With that, she walked around him and into the open living room. He had no idea what that meant, but it sounded promising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didnt expect these characters but here they are. I quite like these ladies. Mwah! Xoxo, Jess.


	11. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint goes to Jenny and Charlotte for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more of Jenny and Charlotte. We will get back to Loki and the Avengers I promise, but I really wanted Clint to figure some things out before he tackled other hurdles. Enjoy xo

Clint has decided he was what was commonly referred to as a submissive. Who knew? The label felt itchy on his skin and rattled eerily in his bones. If Clint was a sub then he needed a dom, right? That was what Charlotte had said, and the internet- and he didn't know dom/sub was just the tip of the iceberg. Did you know people could go into something called "littlespace"? There were masters and pets and all sorts of people out there, and that was the only thing that made Clint feel like the normal one of the bunch.

So...he needed a dom.

He sure wasn't ready to admit that to anyone on the team, and sure  _as hell_  wasn't ready to admit that to Loki, which meant that he'd have to look to outside sources to figure himself out. Charlotte and Jenny had offered and he figured it was as good a place as any to start. 

The archer rang the doorbell and rocked nervously on his heels, not sure what to do with his hands. He didn't have long to stew on it though because Charlotte's eager face greeted him a few seconds later. "Clint! You came."

"Not yet he hasn't," Jenny teased as she approached the door behind her sub. "Good to see you, Clint."

"Thank you guys for doing this for me," he greeted.

"Really, it's our pleasure," Jenny assured and opened the door wider to usher him in. "Char's been wanting a new playmate for a while and I like you."

How did she get away with saying things like that so bluntly? Clint cleared his throat and nodded as he entered the condo. "So...how do we do this thing?"

Jenny placed a sure hand to the small of Charlotte's back and nodded for them all to go into the living room. "First, we sit down and talk about it. Then, we can play, but only if you want to."

"Just like that?" Clint questioned.

Charlotte looked back over her shoulder with playful eyes and a smirk. "Just like that."

They all took seats on the couch, Jenny taking the armchair and Charlotte cuddling up to Clint on the loveseat. Jenny crossed an ankle over her knee and sat back, comfortable as anything, and assessed the duo. "Here are the ground rules," she started and held up a finger. "One, neither of us are having sex with you. That's not what you're here for."

Clint tried not to show his surprise at her forwardness and nodded. 

"Two, I'll tell you everything I'm going to do before I do it since I don't know your limits and I don't think you do either."

She was right, of course. Clint nodded again.

"Three." Her face went soft and she smiled a little. "I'll take care of you both. Any questions so far?"

Just one pressing one. "You said no sex- which is cool," he emphasized, "but usually when I've done this I..."

"Get hard? Come?" Jenny finished for him with a raised brow. Clint's mouth snapped shut but he forced himself to nod. "I expect you'll come tonight, and I encourage it. Finding release and sex are two different things in my book."

"Good to know..." Clint responded, dazed. Charlotte seemed pleased, though, because she looped an arm through Clint's and kissed his shoulder.

"This is going to be fun," she murmured.

"Clint?" Jenny called to get his attention, which was wandering dangerously now that the reality of what was about to happen was dancing in his mind, but he blinked hard and locked eyes with the domme. "Is there anything specific you'd like to try tonight?"

He'd only had one thing stocked away that he'd prayed they'd get to do tonight. "I'd like to..." God, this was way harder now that he had to say it out loud. Maybe that was part of the game, making subs squirm by having to say what they wanted. It seemed like something Loki would enjoy.

"Clint?" Jenny prompted again and Clint focused as best he could.

"Can I kneel by your feet for a while?"

There. He'd said it.  _Wow,_ that was hard. It'd been his absolute favorite thing he and his Loki had done during their week together. It was the opposite of the forceful, violent god that'd he'd known and yet he'd felt utterly owned. Sometimes Loki would stroke his hair, sometimes his neck- Clint came very close to admitting how much he missed Loki. Even to himself that was a bad idea.

Jenny smiled, sweet and proud. "I think that's a great idea," she offered and Clint relaxed. She stood and walked over to the couch the two subs were sitting on, holding out a hand to each of them. They both took it, Charlotte with enthusiasm and Clint with trepidation, and Jenny led them down a hall and to a door. She turned and addressed Clint seriously, "This is our playroom. Every single thing in here is meant to help you, not harm you," she smirked at that, and Clint couldn't help but echo it. "If anything draws your eye or your interest, let me know. Some things will be off limits for tonight, but we can talk about anything."

Clint just wanted to see  _inside_  already. "Yeah, okay," he urged, bouncing on his heels a little. Jenny just huffed a laugh and opened the door, ushering them in. Clint's mouth dropped open and his eyebrows shot up into his hairline. The room was bigger than he'd thought it would be and painted dark blue. The walls were...well, he'd say decorated because of the artistic way everything was hung if they weren't sex toys. There were a ton of them, everything Clint had researched and a bunch that he didn't recognize. Not to mention drawers of things he couldn't see.

There was a bed- simple and neat- but throughout the room were other surfaces that looked much less comfortable. Something like a multi-teared bench, something rounded and long, a giant X of sanded cherry wood. He shook his head in disbelief, turning slowly to take it all in. When he caught Jenny and Charlotte in his peripherals, he turned to them. "Wow," he offered in summation. It seemed to be his word of the night.

"I know right?" Charlotte boasted, smile wide. "A lot of it is centered around a female sub, but there are a few things that would be just for you and most of it works for both."

Jenny walked to him slowly, so gentle that he wondered how she came to be someone that hurt people for gratification. "How are you doing, Clint?"

Honestly? He was fucking excited. His blood was pumping, his dick was half hard- though he was earnestly trying to ignore it for now- and his mind was melting away, along with his worries. He smiled easily. "Good."

"Good," Jenny repeated, happy to hear it. "Is there anything you liked?"

Clint raised a sarcastic brow but turned to look around one more time anyway. "What's in there?" he asked and pointed to a sleek, black set of drawers. Jenny hummed and placed a hand on the curve of Clint's back to lead him over to it. It was a gesture, he knew, testing his pliancy. He liked it, it felt vaguely familiar, but it wasn't exactly right.

She pulled open the top drawer and two rows of dildos in different colors, shapes, and sizes lit up his view. "I should've known," Clint mumbled and Jenny opened the next drawer. It was more dildos but most of them had switches or buttons and Clint assumed they were vibrators. The next was apparently the drawer of CBT, which Clint did...plenty of research about that he didn't feel like explaining to Jenny and Charlotte. There were cages and presses and clamps and things that made sweat prickle at the base of his neck.

"Okay," he gasped, voice cracking over the single word. "I got it."

Apparently, that was funny to Jenny, who closed the drawer with a chuckle and asked him. "So, anything?"

Um,  _everything_ , he wanted to shout but figured that would look desperate and he was still new and maybe he just thought he wanted everything but really he didn't. "Yeah, a few good things," he tried for suave and missed the mark terribly if Charlotte's dark eyes were any indication. 

"Great," Jenny noted. "Like what?"

Clint took in the wall of floggers, whips, crops, paddles, and more. "I could be spanked, I think."  _I think?_  He was a world-class assassin who  _knew_ he wanted to be spanked, but for some reason, he sounded like a nervous schoolboy asking out his first crush. 

"A solid choice," Charlotte agreed, giving Clint a bit of confidence.

"Also, the cages in there. The metal ones look cool." They didn't just look cool. He knew what they were for and he knew that he'd spent two hours watching people using them online. 

"Somehow I'm not at all surprised, Clint Barton," Jenny revealed with a sparkle in her eyes. "Good choices. I think they're perfect for trying out some things. Char?"

Charlotte came scurrying up to her domme, hands clasped behind her back. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Take your clothes off. Leave your underwear on," she ordered and Charlotte didn't hesitate to start untying her sweats. Jenny focused on Clint next. "After she's done, she's going to undress you, okay?" Clint nodded. "I'm going to need you to use words for now."

"Yes, okay."

Jenny went to the wall of instruments meant to mark up someone's skin while she kept talking. "We have safewords. You chose 'trickshot' as yours when you and Charlotte talked. Mine is 'corkscrew' and hers is 'panda'." She grabbed a long, narrow paddle off its hook and tested the weight in her hand. "We use the stoplight system and a scale of one to ten depending on what information I need from you. Are you familiar?"

"Yes, ma'am," he told her, loving the feel of the words on his tongue.

Jenny turned back to them and nodded, obviously impressed. Charlotte was down to just her panties, soft, luscious breasts swaying gently as she fell to her knees in front of Clint to undo his jeans. He wasn't going to make it out of this alive. He was going to die. He was  _going_  to  _die._  And God help him, he didn't even care.

She pushed his jeans off his legs to the floor and he stepped out of them. Jenny walked around to his back an ran a hand up the clothed line of his spine, sending shivers through him. "When you're undressed, I want you to come lay over my lap on the bed." 

He could see himself in his head, ass up, face pressed into the bed and it was shameful and erotic and he nodded eagerly. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good boy," she murmured and kissed the back of his neck, a light, flirty kiss. She left him then, going to sit on the bed while Charlotte stood and pulled his shirt up his body. He was down to just his boxers and feeling incredibly vulnerable. The sub took his hand and brought him over to the bed, letting her hands run down his sides before falling away.

Clint swallowed nervously, biting at his lip. Jenny held a hand out and Clint took it. "No one will judge you here," she promised. "Plus, I'm really excited to try you out, and I think you're going to like it." At her wide grin, Clint felt his muscles relax and the air he'd been holding streamed out through his nose.

He climbed onto the bed, laying over her lap and pillowing his head on his forearms. "Like this?"

She pulled him a little higher up her lap and spread his legs as far as she could. "There we go. Charlotte, honey, grab the Cowgirl and bring it over here." Clint heard a low, happy  _yes_ and then the coffee-toned woman was running over to the only other door in the room- a closet apparently. She came back hefting a black leather mound and set it down right in front of them on the floor. 

Clint wanted to determine what the thing was but Jenny was massaging his thighs and ass and it felt so good his eyes were falling closed. Her authoritative voice broke through his fog a moment later. "I don't want you touching yourself while Clint has a bit of fun. Go grab whatever bondage you want, baby." Clint tried harder to pay attention to what they were doing because it sounded like something he'd want to see. He tracked Charlotte as she nearly skipped over to the cuffs and rope hanging on the wall. 

She picked up a simple strip of fabric that flowed in the air as she came back to the bed. She held it out to Jenny and asked, "Tie me up, ma'am?" Now Clint was sure he wanted to see that. He lifted his head up to watch as Charlotte turned around and let her domme tie her forearms together against the middle of her back. She groaned when Jenny pulled the knot tight which had Clint rolling his hips without meaning to. 

Jenny noticed, of course she did, and smoothed a possessive hand up his back to his hair, tugging it back and telling him, "You can watch all you want- Char loves to show off- but I want you still. Each time you try to hump my leg, I add another spanking. Understand?" She gave another tug to his hair and Clint's eyes fluttered shut.

He nodded, just to feel that small surge of pain in his scalp again and said, "Yes, ma'am."

"Very good," she praised. To Charlotte, "Hand me the remote and sit on it, baby." It was a hard task, one meant to make her sub blush with frustration and embarrassment, and Clint couldn't stop watching her. She finally managed to pick the remote up behind her back and walk it backwards to Jenny, who took it and stroked down her thigh in reward. Charlotte scrambled to sit on top of the toy with an attachment that just looked like a small bump and a long thick raised line. 

He watched in amazement as the sounds of vibration took up the silence and Charlotte's face scrunched up, a smile spreading lazily across her face. She wiggled more, sitting down harder and moaned. "Don't lift up," Jenny commanded. "I want to see how many times you come before I'm done."

Clint growled, hips shifting in search of relief. "That's one more," Jenny informed him, halfway between displeased and entirely too pleased. The assassin huffed at his own mistake and tried his hardest to be still. 

Jenny's hand squeezed Clint's round cheek as she grabbed the small paddle from beside her on the bed. Then the ridged leather was against his skin, making him tense before she shh'd him gently and rubbed it around on his skin. "I'm going to spank you now," she warned and in the next moment, the paddle was gone. Clint didn't even have time to nod his recognition before it came down on his ass in a sharp wack, the crack ringing out in the air.

"Oh, fuck," he cursed, couldn't help it, and ground his pelvis into Jenny's thigh.

"One more," she counted like she expected it- she probably did. Clint, however, did  _not_. The rush that was stinging up his spine and into his arms was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. He had to clench his whole body to keep from rolling his hips again. "Ready?" Jenny asked and it took a long few seconds for Clint to nod.

The next was just as hard as the first but on his other cheek. Clint gritted his teeth together and put every ounce of willpower he had into keeping his body still.  _God_ , he just wanted to take the surge of energy that came with the pain and turn it into pleasure so badly.  He was losing it. He was happier than he'd been in his entire life- minus that week he refused to count. He couldn't believe he'd finally found a place to understand all the things that never made sense to him. He was riding a wave of foggy pleasure and he never wanted to come down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will have a part 2 next week. I really like these three. I'm glad Clint is finally getting what he needs. I'd love to hear what you guys think, so leave a kudo or comment if you'd like. Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	12. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least they're in the same room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday everyone! It's time for another installment of "When Will Clint and Loki Finally Sleep Together?" Well, not this week, soooo...sorry. But we do have them in the same room at least. Enjoy xo

Clint did come from the spankings. Well, that and the sound Charlotte made on her fourth orgasm. He was exhausted somehow. He could stay up for a few days straight with only a single bottle of water and no food if he was on a mission, but a few handfuls of spankings and Jenny murmuring sweet nothings in his ear took it right out of him. 

He was curled up between the two women when he woke up in the middle of the night. His bones were jello and he didn't feel like moving to save his life. Jenny was pressed against his back, arm slung greedily across his waist with her hand resting against Charlotte's bare breast. Charlotte was on her back with Clint's leg slotted between hers. It was too surreal to comprehend at the moment, but Clint knew that when he got home he'd hold this moment in his memory as one of the greatest moments of his life. 

The only thing that made him even slightly uncomfortable was the cool metal rings that lined his swollen cock. He lifted the covers from where they were slouched around his hips and eyed his caged cock. It was half hard but unable to get any further with the constriction. The metal was warm now but cool when Jenny had slipped it on and he'd swollen inside it within a minute. 

For at least an hour, his pink flesh pressed painfully against it and made him dizzy. Finally, they settled into bed and Clint willed himself down to half hard, where he'd been for hours. He felt utterly owned and it made his vision go fuzzy.

He plopped his head back down on the pillow and smiled. He'd totally found it. Everything that he needed and didn't understand he could have. He would've done anything to freeze that moment and keep it forever. 

A buzzing on the nightstand drew his attention. His phone lit up the dark room with a few missed calls and a new text from Natasha. He leaned as lightly as he could over Charlotte to read it.

_Need you at the compound. Now._

It was urgent but not life or death. He groaned and slumped his head to Charlotte's shoulder, stirring her with a confused sound. "Clint?" she inquired sleepily. 

The archer rubbed her arm in apology. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Now?" She was pouting and Clint was so close to burying his face in her neck and saying never mind, but Natasha didn't play games and if he was needed then he had to go.

"I'm so sorry," he urged and kissed her soft nipple. "It's work, I think."

Jenny was starting to rouse behind him and leaned up to press her cheek to Clint's back. "W'as hap'nin?"

Clint rolled onto his back and looked up at the woman that had made everything so clear. He was enamored and bewitched. "I have to go," he repeated. 

The domme's eyes cleared a bit at that and she looked down at him. "Is everything okay?"

Clint nodded quickly. "Yeah, everything's fine. I got called back to the compound."

"Oh," she allowed, understanding. "Okay, well, let's..." She reached under the blanket and brushed Clint's sensitive cock, making him gasp. "I'll take it off for you."

A jolt of pleasure surged up his spine as she curled her fingers around him, but it was followed quickly by an itch of pain when the rings constricted him. "Actually," Clint stammered and placed a hand over Jenny's to pause her, "can I keep it? Just for a little bit."

Charlotte hummed, lazy and happy, and smoothed a hand up Clint's cheek. "Let him wear it a while, Jen. He likes it."

Jenny eyed him, always assessing, and pulled the cover down to get a good look at Clint's caged dick. The archer squirmed at the attention, unsure but so turned on, and could feel his shaft push against the rings harder, making him moan. Jenny ran sure fingers over him, pressing against the rings and then his flushed skin, tilting him this way and that before letting him bob in the air. "Okay, you look okay still. I want to get a bit of lube on it though. You can wear it for the rest of the day, but then I want it off. Got me?"

Clint nodded eagerly and rolled his ass against the bed. "Thank you," he offered, soft but full of something strong. 

Jenny leaned down and kissed him, not for the first time that night, but for the first time when they weren't actively in a scene. It was calm and sure and Clint melted for it. "You're welcome." She turned over and grabbed the lube from the nightstand, using her pinky to slip it under the rings. Clint had to breathe hard through his nose to keep still. It was the most erotic, confusing feeling he'd ever felt in his life.

"You're good to go," Jenny informed him once her hand disappeared and Clint was able to relax. "We'll be here when you want to see us again."

"Yes, please," Charlotte added and kissed him with enthusiasm. "Come see us again, Clint."

"I have a feeling I'll be back," he told them and let his hand find their bodies for just a moment before he sat up and scooted off the bed. "I'm sorry again. I wish I could stay longer."

"Don't worry about it," Jenny assured as he got dressed. He slipped his shoes on and looked back to the two women sprawled on the rumpled bedsheets. They were so inviting. Everything in him begged to get back into bed with them, but he had responsibilities.

"I'll see you," he confirmed and grabbed his phone before dashing out of the bedroom and then out of the apartment.

 

 

When he got to the compound, F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn't hesitate to tell him that everyone was convened in his apartment living room. Not a conference room- that had to mean it had to do with him specifically and the only recent problem he'd incurred was one dark, vengeful god of mischief. 

What had Loki done now? He didn't need this. Everyone was in a weird mood today. Three people cut him off on his way home. The sky was gloomy and tinged a weird green-grey from a surely incoming storm. He was tense and trying to hold on to the release he'd just found.

The elevator doors opened on his apartment and he took a deep breath before stepping out. Everyone was in fact sprinkled around his living room, some sitting, most standing. Tony saw him first and hastily made his way across the room towards him.

"He's in there," he blurted and waved towards Clint's hallway. Then Tony's eyes glanced down, attention caught by the bulge Clint was still sporting. By the grace of God Tony ignored it and looked back to Clint, waiting for an answer. Whatever was happening had to be important.

"I'm sorry?" Clint asked.

Steve came to stand next to Tony, arms crossed and feet a steady distance apart- the picture of strength. "Loki."

He'd known but the name still made his heart beat a little faster. "What about him?"

"He's in your room, Barton. Doing...something," Tony urged. Bruce came walking over, followed by Natasha- who was eyeing him with an intensity he didn't want to deal with at the moment. The scientist was holding a laptop on one arm and was typing on it with the other hand. 

"I've been keeping an eye on a temporal disturbance but he hasn't tapped into it that I can tell. I'm not sure what he's waiting for," Bruce informed him.

"So why didn't you guys get him out of there?" Clint questioned, annoyed at Loki for ruining his first night with Jenny and Charlotte.

Natasha placed her hands on her hips. "We can't get in. He's got it protected or blocked somehow."

Clint nodded. He knew what was coming next. "You want me to talk to him, get in there and see what he's doing."

"You're the only one he'll talk to," Steve reminded. "If he's planning something, you're the only one that can stop him."

That made the archer scoff. If Loki was planning something, Clint would never be able to stop him. That was proven already. "I don't know what you think is going to happen."

"You have to try," Natasha pressed. "We need to see what's on the other side of that door."

Clint seethed internally, though he knew there was nothing he could do about it. Somehow he had become the bridge between his family and his enemy. The archer walked down the hall, ignoring the way the other Avengers' eyes followed him out of sight, and pounded a fist on his  _own bedroom door_. The nerve of this god. 

"Loki. Stop fucking around and open my goddamn door," he ordered, proud of how firm his voice sounded.

The next second, the door did open but then Clint was yanked inside and it was shut behind him. Now that he was in there, he wasn't sure he wanted to be but at least he could see what Loki was up to in his room...Which was nothing, it seemed. Everything was exactly as he'd left it, the bed unmade, the t-shirt he'd slept in hanging off the corner. 

He was still scanning the room when he asked, "What are you doing in here? Why are you in my room  _again_  after I know I told you to never come in here."

Loki didn't roll his eyes, but he might as well have with how he disregarded every word Clint said and took hold of Clint's wrist. "Come here, Barton."

Clint tugged, but the grip was sure. He knew Loki was stronger than him and wasn't in the mood to lose a limb today, so he followed, though he dragged his feet. Loki led him to Clint's bed, where he crawled on and sat, cross-legged, and motioned to Clint to follow.

"I'm not doing anything until you tell me what the hell-"

" _Please_ ," Loki begged, eyes squeezed shut tight. "We must hurry."

The word, the way he muttered it, had all of the air in Clint's lungs exiting in a punch. He'd only heard Loki say please once, during their week together, and it did something to Clint's brain that had him mindlessly crawling on the bed and sitting across from Loki with his mouth agape.

Loki seemed relieved that Clint decided to join him and held both hands out for Clint's. Clint didn't like this, it felt eerily close to intimate and he was still caged and being too close to Loki always did something to him. The god could see the hesitation and whispered, "Never would I strive to harm you, Clint."

It was a lie, Clint knew because Loki had harmed him, hurt him so deeply that Clint thought he'd never recover. But this wasn't that Loki. This Loki had never harmed his Clint that he could tell. This Loki was true to his word. Clint let his hands slid into Loki's and they settled between them. Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Can you sense it?"

Clint shook his head, realize Loki couldn't see him, then breathed, "Sense what?"

Loki smiled, small but so serene. "The opening. The universes are aligning and I may very well have a chance to glimpse mine with your help."

It seemed silly.  _The universes are aligning._ Like they were in some science fiction novel, but Clint knew he'd confronted much weirder things. Maybe that explained the weird vibe in the air around people today. "I don't feel it," he confessed.

The dark-haired man wasn't put off by Clint's lack of sensitivity, he only nodded slightly and smiled wider, eyes still closed. "That will not hinder me. You are still my most prized possession and will do nicely to connect me to my home."Clint tugged his hand from Loki's on reflex at his claim.  _Possession_. Loki was quick and tightened his grip and opened his eyes. "I meant no offense. Only that you are the one thing in the universe of any value to me and the only person of any meaning to me."

Too much. He needed Loki to stop talking. Now.

"What about Thor?"

Loki closed his eyes again, but Clint swore he saw something like hurt in them. "He is my brother and I will always hold a dear place for him in my heart, but my heart as a whole is yours and yours alone."

"Not me," Clint argued weakly. "I'm not him." It hurt to say and his voice went whisper-light on the last word. 

It pulled Loki's eyes open one more time. "No, but you are very close." Clint felt a hard place in himself break, crack just a little at the foundations, and his vision blurred around the edges as his eyes slipped closed. The gravity of the room seemed to intensify, growing dense and heavy as it pressed in on him. It stole the breath in his body and even the pained whimper on his lips and when he opened his eyes again he was surrounded by light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some good stuff coming next week if I do say so myself. If you enjoy this fic so far I'd love a vote or comment. Thanks so so much for reading. Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	13. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is so confused again. Both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an interesting chapter and it will have a part two next week. Happy Tuesday and happy BAP update! Enjoy xo

Clint shielded his eyes with a hand as he blinked away the too bright light. He couldn't see anything past the shadowed shape of his forearm, but already he didn't feel right. 

"Clint? Clint, what's wrong?"

Tony? That was definitely Tony's voice. As Clint's eyes adjusted, his suspicions were confirmed and the broad, shiny form of Tony's suit- sans helmet- came into view. Did Tony kick down his door again? He was going to be so angry if-

There was no door. There were no walls. He wasn't in his bedroom, Clint surmised as he looked around. They were outside. The hand not covering his face was pressed to cold cement and the air smelled like spring flowers and the distinct scent of magic. What the hell was going on?

"Tony," Clint started but realized he didn't know what to say.

Tony was kneeling in front of him in an instant and both hands were rubbing soothingly along his shins. "I know this is hard, but we have to know."

"What?" Clint questioned, a headache forming as he finally lowered his arm. "What's happening?"

Tony looked worried for just a moment before a look of pity overtook his face. "It's alright, Clint. We'll get him back. We won't stop until we do."

The sadness in Tony's voice took Clint off guard. Had something happened to Steve? Bruce? Him? "Tony, what's wrong?" Clint asked, sitting up straighter. 

Then Tony look very confused and leaned over to press the back of his gauntlet to Clint's forehead. JARVIS's voice called out a solid ninety-nine degrees, making Clint startle. "Was that JARVIS? What is going on Tony?" He was becoming more and more aware that something was terribly wrong. His hackles were rising and all of his muscles tensed for combat. "Where are we?"

"Strange's, Clint. He said he had news," Tony informed him with a narrow of his eyes. "Clint, are you sure you're okay?"

"Strange? Stephen Steve? I didn't know we'd found him." He ran his hand through his hair. "I was just in my room with..." He didn't want to set Tony off by saying the god's name, but apparently, he didn't need to say it for Tony to know who he was referring to.

"Oh, buddy. I know it's hard, but Loki needs you."

That was not at all what he expected, making Clint stand and stumble back from the man that looked like Tony but couldn't be. His breathing was starting to go shallow and rough. "Excuse me? Why are you being so cool right now?"

"One of us has to be," Tony quipped and that sounded more like him. "We all miss him, but I know you miss him more."

Clint held up both hands to halt the onslaught of Tony's confusing words. "Woah, no. Who are you? We don't  _miss_ Loki. He won't go away. You hate Loki. I hate Loki most of the time." He realized right after saying it, his words were almost a confession.

Tony just laughed, but it was tense and laced with worry. "I know you're upset, but if Loki could hear you say that, we both know he'd do something to your ass I don't want to think about." He crossed his arms over his metal chest and cocked a brow. "We don't hate Loki. You especially don't hate Loki if those fading hickeys are anything to go by." 

Clint's hand went to his neck instantly, scared of what was there. Loki hadn't given him any- did he? Clint hadn't looked in a mirror in a couple of days. Had Loki sucked a bruise into his skin while Clint laid with him. It didn't seem like something for the god to do without Clint's permission, but then, it was Loki. "It's not what you think." His blood pumped viciously under his skin.

Tony laughed again, brighter and more teasing. "Clint, it is exactly what I think and you stopped trying to convince me otherwise years ago. Why don't we go inside and have the doc take a look at you? You've been really stressed, understandably, and I think your mind is messing with you." He reached out and gingerly put an arm around Clint's shoulder, leading them up the pavement to a thick wooden porch and door. 

Clint was so  _confused_. 

Where were they? Why were they here? Where did Loki go? Why was Tony being so...not Tony? He didn't have long to ponder it because a tall, dark-haired man answered the door in a ridiculous outfit that annoyingly reminded Clint of Loki's armor of choice. 

"Hey, doc. Clint here isn't feeling well. Could you give him a look over while you tell us what you found?" Tony asked. 

The man- Strange, Clint assumed- nodded with a low  _of course_  and ushered them inside. "The parlor has a fainting couch," Strange directed them. 

Clint scoffed. "I'm not going to faint. I'm a world-class assassin for fuck's sake."

"He seems fine to me," Strange added but led them to the parlor anyway. "My supplies are in here," he told Clint to soothe his pride. "Lay him down there," he told Tony. The moment Clint's back hit the soft cushion, he realized how tired he was and melted onto the furniture. 

"He's saying stuff that doesn't make sense," Tony spoke only to Strange, voice tilted low for propriety's sake. "I think that losing Loki may have gotten to him."

"Woah again, boss. I didn't lose Loki. He's probably still at the compound in my room doing God knows what. It's not my fault he...did something to me." That was it. Loki had to of transported Clint and Tony somewhere. He got Clint out of his room so he could do whatever nefarious thing he was up to in there.

He didn't seem to convince Tony though, nor Strange for that matter, as they pointedly look at each other and then back at Clint. "Yeah, I'll take a look at him," Strange decided. 

"Thanks, doc," Tony sighed and sat at Clint's feet on the couch. "What have you heard on Loki?"

Doctor Strange started pulling out medical supplies- a stethoscope, blood pressure sleeve- and made a frustrated sound. "Nothing good. That portal that took him didn't originate here."

"Here like New York?" Tony asked.

Why weren't they pay attention to whatever was going on here? He didn't even know they knew Strange! What the  _hell_  was going on. Clint gasped in a breath, his lungs suddenly unable to inflate. He tried to steady himself and keep the rolling of his vision to himself. 

Strange glanced back over his shoulder at Clint knowingly. "Here like our Earth," he answered Tony off-handedly. 

"Our Earth? You mean it originated from  _another_  Earth? That's not possible, doc. Even the theory that multiple dimensions could connect is perilous at best; it's not realistic," Tony argued, luckily distract from Clint for the moment before both of them turned to him and Tony sat next to him.

Strange turned and pugged his ears with his stethoscope and lifted the cold metal end to Clint's chest. Clint flinched but when Tony's hand rested on his knee, Clint allowed Strange to pull the collar of his shirt down a press it to his skin. He knew his heart was beating fast; how could it not? His brain felt like it was splitting open. The doctor seemed just as concerned as Clint when he pulled away and grabbed the blood pressure sleeve. 

"How are you feeling Clint? Does anything hurt?"

"You mean besides everything? I feel like I was crushed by a Quinjet." It was true. All of his muscles were fatigue and yet still tensed, he had a massive migraine, his stomach was churning uncomfortably, he couldn't  _breathe_. 

Strange waited, counted pulses as he took Clint's blood pressure. "It's really high, Clint. You're breathing is off. I think you might be having a panic attack."

***

Clint gasped for air as he lurched, dry heaving around the terrible knot in his throat. A hand clamped down on his shoulder and he leaned into it. The shape, the weight, was so familiar that he knew instantly to turn his head and kiss the thumb knuckle within reach. The hand snapped back, pulling out from under his lips so quick that Clint opened his eyes with a concerned crease to his brow.

"Loki?" he asked blearily, rubbing at his temple. The next second, he realized what he'd said and open his eyes wider. "Loki?!" Clint gasped and threw himself forward on instinct, upheaving Loki's calm position and throwing them both to the floor. "Oh, God, Loki," he urged as he lips landed on Loki's frantically. "Is this real?"

Loki's arms were around him then and hugging him close, returning his kiss eagerly. "I don't know," Loki answered and wound a hand behind his head, pressing Clint's mouth harder on his own. 

"The dreams have been..." Clint licked into Loki's mouth desperately. "...so real. I can't tell sometimes."

"I know," Loki agreed. "Me, as well, my love."

Clint's veins shivered with relief, his blood pumping joy. He felt a wetness on his cheeks and realized he was crying. "Loki, Loki, Loki," he whimpered over and over, hands wandering over Loki's body to catalog each individual atom. 

"I know," Loki said again and it was everything. They kissed, or rather, they mouthed wildly at each other until neither of them could breathe and Loki turned them over so he was laying over Clint and stroking his cheek. "Little bird," he whispered, making Clint arch up into him and smile. 

"Yes, sir."

Loki's mouth was against his again, but just for proximity, because he kept talking. "You still look like him." A hand moved purposely down his arm to a scar that he didn't remember getting and rubbed across it. "You are within him."

"I- I guess. I don't know what's going on. I don't care," Clint implored. His hands were doing their fair share of wandering, up Loki's back and down to his ass. "You are exactly the same." That pulled a small laugh from the god as he finally kissed him again. Clint felt the familiar stirring in his gut but then stopped short, breaking their kiss and blinking in confusion. "Are you with this world's Clint?"

"No. Not like..." Loki assured but then shook his head and started again. "I wished to be. He is so much like you. I feel a pull towards him that I have only ever felt towards you."

"He is me," Clint surmised understandingly. 

Loki was shaking his head again. "No, not quite. He doesn't respond to me the way you do. Where you reach for me, he holds up a hand to halt me."

Clint felt a moment of sorrow for Loki that any Clint could be so cold to him. "He doesn't know you like I do." Loki nodded. "But you wish he did?" Clint questioned.

The god sighed, thinking. "He needs me. He is at a precipice and if I am not careful he will fall instead of jump in."

"So you're domming him?"

Loki's brows furrowed. "No. He hasn't allowed me to."

Clint hummed and rolled his hips against Loki's obviously half-hard arousal. "Than what's this?" Loki looked confused as he looked down between them. 

"I don't understand." Clint reached down between them, Loki's eyes firmly on his movements, and pulled his sweats and underwear down under his still caged dick and full balls. Loki growled, hand reaching for him before halting and laying it purposefully on the carpet beneath them. "That was not my doing," he seethed, and Clint could hear the blatant jealousy in the words.

"Well, someone is taking care of him, even if it's not you."

Loki growled louder then and did bring his hand to Clint's caged cock, squeezing hard and making his lover gasp and arch off the floor. "I wish for him to suffer for this."

Clint was panting, hand curled around the lean cord of Loki's bicep. "Loki," he whined. "Punish  _me_." Loki's grip loosened the tiniest bit but then he tugged, pulling Clint's dick away from his body painfully. "Fuck!"

"Why would I punish you, little bird, when you have done nothing wrong?"

Clint reached between them and placed his hand over Loki's stroking his knuckles. "This Clint doesn't belong to you," he reminded and Loki snarled. "Yet," he clarified. "But I  _do_. You can't punish him but you can punish me. I know you need to."

"My love," he cooed and kissed along Clint's sweating neck.

"How long has it been since you doled out a punishment? It was at least a week before you-before the accident, and I'm guessing you haven't hurt anyone since you've been here." Clint raked gently nails down Loki's back. "It must be torture. You need it, don't you?"

"Clint," Loki begged, burying his face in Clint's neck now to hide how right Clint was. "You've done nothing worthy of punishment."

A chuckle bubbled from Clint's lips. "Actually, I've been incredibly naughty since you left."

"I didn't  _leave_ ," Loki barked. "I would never," he added, softer.

"Disappeared," Clint corrected. "I've haven't slept well, eaten often. And guess what?" He raised a brow. "I missed you so much that just last night I came stuffed full of dildo screaming your name."

Loki's face hardened and his eyes went dark. Clint knew that would be plenty to warrant punishment and he had to fight to keep his grin off his face. "You not only touched what is mine, but you came without permission?" Clint nodded in confirmation. Loki leaned back from Clint, taking him in with hard eyes. "What a useless slut you are," Loki hummed. "Why would your orgasm even be worth having without me there?"

"It wasn't," Clint agreed. "I didn't even feel anything, I just needed-"

"You  _need_  nothing," Loki interrupted and Clint swallowed hard as he pressed his lips together. "Holes don't have needs." The dark-haired man pushed up to stand, glaring down at Clint's flushed face. "Present, cumhole." Clint shivered- he'd missed this side of Loki terribly while they were separated- and started stripping off his clothes while Loki watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll see how Clint is doing and how Clint is doing next week. hahaha. I'll see you then :) Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	14. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is confused again, part 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A totally weird yet delicious situation happening this week. Clint and Loki and Clint and Loki and Clint and Clint and Tony- and Strange. It's all strange. Enjoy xo

A panic attack? Clint didn't have panic attacks...at least, he hadn't in a long time. He'd therapy'd his way out of those nearly a year after Loki-

"I'm a world-class-"

"Assassin, yeah yeah," Tony finished. "How's his breathing, doc?"

Strange had his stethoscope to Clint's chest and was listening intently to his lungs. "Falty. Hey, Clint, can you take a big deep breath?"

Clint slapped his hand away, dislodging the stethoscope and making it clamber to the floor. "Tell me what the hell is going on," Clint demanded. He pushed himself to sit up but his chest felt tight and his vision swam. "Tony, I need to go home."

***

"I wish you were home," Clint breathed, low and needy against the rug in a foreign room. "I miss you, sir."

Loki hummed behind him, taking in the sight of Clint on his knees with his fingers gripping his ass to spread himself open for his master's viewing pleasure. "Of course you do," he agreed. "You need me." Clint nodded, face rubbing harshly against carpet. "When I return to you," Loki offered as he fell to his knees behind a body he didn't quite know, "I will remind you of your purpose." 

"Don't wait," Clint pleaded, words muffled against the floor.

The god slid greedy hands over Clint's bare back and laid over him to press his lips to Clint's ear. "There is nothing you will ever do that is greater than serving me. You are made for me, and I will keep you until my last day." There were equal measures of lust and adoration in Loki's voice, and Clint shuddered at the sound. 

"Please, Loki," Clint begged, pushing back against him.

***

Clint pushed back when Strange tried to make him lay down again. He felt so weird. Like he wasn't himself somehow, like he wasn't really here. His head was splitting, cracking in half slowly and the longer they sat here pretending nothing was wrong, the worse he felt. His hand lashed out and gripped Tony's wrist tightly. "Tony, something is  _wrong_." 

Tony glanced up at Strange, who nodded and put his tools down in favor of turning to his internal abilities. Meanwhile, Tony rubbed Clint's shoulder soothingly and said, "I believe you, bud. If anyone can figure it out, it's Strange."

"I don't fucking know him!" Clint raged and dug his nails into Tony's arm. "Maybe I don't even know you."

Tony jolted at that. "What do you mean, Clint? Of course you know me." Tony tilted his head down into Clint's line of sight and made the archer look at him. "I'm me."

Clint was shaking his head weakly, the split in his mind growing larger. "You're not. You're-" A sharp jab went through his brain and he pressed his free hand to his temple. 

Strange hummed. "Something is most assuredly wrong," the doctor agreed. "This is not our Clint."

***

"This is not my Clint," Loki reminded the man under him as he pressed down harder, making Clint collapse to the floor with a moan, Loki's body covering his completely. "You are my little bird in mind and mind alone. This body doesn't belong to me."

Clint's fingers curled into the rug and he stuttered a sob. "Please, Loki. I can't go back without this. I need you."

Loki hated the sound of his lover hurting. He couldn't stand to hear him breaking. But he couldn't violate a body that didn't belong to him, either. They were stuck. Loki needed so badly to take him, to claim him and love him and show Clint that he still belonged to him. 

Who knew if he'd get another chance.

"Can you communicate with him?" Loki wondered, an idea popping into his desperate head. 

Clint let Loki's hand wander up and down his side as he relaxed into the pressure of his body. "With who?" he murmured, mind going hazy.

Loki moved one hand to the back of Clint's neck and squeezed. "I need you to focus for a moment, darling. Can you speak to the other Clint? I assume if you are here, he is in our world."

"I don't want to go," Clint whispered and Loki could hear the sorrow in it. 

"You won't go anywhere, just see if you can reach him. The two of you are connected," Loki reassured. 

Clint nodded, though Loki could tell he was only obeying and not happy about it. Clint closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

***

Clint took a deep breath to push away the pain crashing in on him achingly slow. "I tried to tell-" The archer screamed, eyes squeezing shut as echoes rang through his skull. 

_There is nothing you will ever do that is greater than serving me._

_I can't go back without this._

Clint fell off the couch to the floor, curling up and clasping his hands over his ears to try and block out the way the thoughts invaded. It didn't help. They spoke so loudly he couldn't hear his own screams anymore, could only feel the raw way they tore from his throat. 

_The two of you are connected._

_Barton?_  

Loki's voice. Loki was talking to him. Fuck, what was happening??

\---

"Barton?" Loki asked when he saw the way Clint clenched his teeth and his whole body went tense. He was hurting and hiding it as best he could, though not well enough. The other Clint must be fighting him.

Clint released his next breath in a harsh pant. "Keep talking. He can hear you," he gasped.

Loki smoothed a hand up to the back of Clint's neck, rubbing comforting swirls into the pressure point at the base of his skull. "Barton," he whispered into his Clint's ear. "I know this must be strange, but can you hear me?"

\---

Clint yelled, a feral thing, before pounding a fist on the floor. "Of course, I can hear you, you freak! What have you done to me? Where am I?"

\---

"He wants to know what's happening to him," Clint informed him, the crease in his forehead growing deeper with concentration.

Loki kissed his neck in reward. "Somehow you and my Clint-" Clint moaned softly at the wording. "-have cross paths. Apparently, you hold his body captive while he occupies yours."

\---

"Of fucking course," Clint grit out.

Tony curled an arm around his shoulder and forcibly lifted him back to the couch. "Clint, what's going on?" 

"It's Loki," Clint spat. "He's done something to me."

Tony's smile wasn't what Clint needed at that moment. "I knew he'd figure out a way to get to you. Can you ask him what happened so we can get him back?"

Clint pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt hot warmth trickle from it. "Fuck getting him back. Make him go away!" 

Tony reached into Strange's kit and grabbed some gauze, holding it up to Clint's nose to staunch the flow of blood. "Does it hurt?" Clint nearly slapped him- his Tony never asked stupid questions- but before he could, Tony raised a hand in surrender. "Sorry, of course it does. Can he make it stop hurting?"

Strange sat next to Clint. "Maybe I can help. Loki and I have taught our Clint how to traverse basic ways of magic so that things such as telepathy won't hurt. I can help ease your way."

Clint grasped Strange's shirt in hand blindly. "Fucking do it."

\---

"He's with Tony and Strange," Clint relayed to Loki as the god continued to kiss across his neck and shoulder. "I was on my way to Strange's house when this happened. He had some info on you I think."

Loki nodded. "What does he say?"

Clint stopped, listening for just a second. "He says he can help Clint like he helped me so it stops hurting so much."

"Barton," Loki spoke directly to the other man, "let Doctor Strange help you. I can't stand to see you hurt any longer." His Clint whined, hand coming up to grip Loki's forearm where it held him up. "My love," Loki murmured. "Now isn't the time to be jealous."

\---

"Can you two figure this out later?" Clint yelled out loud, but it was meant for inside his head. "Just do what you have to or my head is going to explode." That was for Strange, and the man took it as permission. He swirled his hands in an intricate pattern before orange began to slither from his fingers and encase Clint's head. Instantly, Clint felt the pressure release. His mind wasn't going to crack in half any moment.

"Yeah, doc," he urged. "That feels better."

\---

"Strange is working his magic," Clint told Loki. "It's working. I can feel him settling. Go ahead and talk to him."

Loki turned on his side and pulled Clint with him, tucking his lover into his chest and running and hand up to his neck. He gripped just hard enough and tilted Clint's head back to speak directly in his ear. "Barton, I must ask a favor of you."

\---

"Fuck you, Loki. I don't owe you shit," Clint seethed and Tony's brows raised.

"I take it you and Loki aren't exactly friends in your world," he noted.

Clint cracked open one eye just to glare at the engineer. "I hate him."

\---

Clint laughed. Loki purred, "What is it?"

Under a smile, Clint answered, "He doesn't like you very much."

Loki sighed, disappointed. "I'm aware." He squeezed Clint's throat just a little tighter, like he could control the other Clint through him somehow. "Still, I need your help, Barton."

\---

Clint gasped as he felt a pressure on his throat. His hand went up to his neck on instinct but there was nothing there. He was going insane. "It seems like you're doing fine on your own. You've got your Clint back and I can't even control my own body. What do you need me for?"

\---

Clint told him what the other Clint said and Loki made a pained sound. "It hurts me that you would think I would take advantage of your body without permission. I would never harm you, Barton." Loki kissed just under his ear.

\---

Clint's hand went up to the spot he swore he just felt Loki's lips. He refused to admit how good it felt. "What do you want from me?" he tried to snarl, but it came out quieter, almost scared.

\---

"I need him," Clint answered the message in his head. "I miss him so much, and I'm afraid I'll never see him again." He leaned his head over and let Loki's kisses go deeper, leave traces of his saliva on his skin. "If I never see him again, I want him to have me one more time."

\---

Clint gasped, in pleasure instead of shock, and tilted his head to open his neck as his eyes fluttered shut again. "And you need my body to do it," he finished. "Why should I? I hate him. You have no idea what he's done to me."

\---

Clint nodded, tiny so he didn't dislodge Loki's mouth as he licked up the sensitive spot along the side of his neck. He moaned and pressed back into Loki just to feel the bulge in his pants. "I- I don't know, but this isn't that Loki. This Loki is good to me. He loves me." Clint pulled Loki's hips against his ass harder. "This Loki is my everything."

\---

Clint could feel the thick line or arousal against the back seam of his jeans and bit down on a moan. He would not moan for Loki's dick. He did let his head fall back to the back of the couch though, ignoring Tony's soft  _should we leave?_  to Strange. He couldn't care less what they thought of him; Tony wasn't his Tony and he didn't even know Strange.

"Will I feel the whole thing like this?" Clint wondered.

\---

"I don't know," Clint answered honestly. I've never done this before."

\---

Clint gasped again, felt Loki's hand tweak at his nipple. "Fuck, I don't-" He had two choices here. He could tell them no, and Loki would respect it...he thought. They would most likely break the connection and he would be left here in this strange world alone until they figured out how to switch back. Or.

Or he could say yes and they might break the connection anyway. Then, Loki would be using his body to get the other Clint off and he'd still be stuck in this world by himself.

Or.

Or he could tell them yes and ask them to stay here, in his mind, and he would know- at least he would know- what they do to his body. And he could...enjoy it. Maybe he could get all of the things he'd been dreaming of getting from Loki but not actually have to do it. He could still go home and have that plausible deniability. 

"Okay," he breathed, but he knew Clint would hear. "But I want to stay connected. I don't want you doing anything to me that I don't want." Sure, yeah, that sounded logical, he encouraged himself.

\---

Clint moaned and smiled. "He said yes," he told Loki. "He wants to stay though, make sure he consents to everything."

Loki hummed in thought and flicked Clint's nipple under his thumb. "I would be making love to you both," he surmised. 

Clint turned to bury his face in the rug. "Don't rub it in."

\---

"That's the deal," Clint barked. No way they were using his body for sex without him there. "Take it or leave it."

\---

Clint huffed. "Fine. I understand why, but you don't have to be a dick about it, dude," he told the other Clint and received only a scoff in return. "Yes, he'll be here the whole time," he informed Loki over his shoulder. "I guess that means we have to keep it tame."

Loki chuckled and bit down lightly on his shoulder. "I can't promise anything."

\---

"Hey!" he growled at the people in his head. "What are you going to do?"

\---

"He wants to know what you're doing to do to me," Clint told him with a smirk. Loki smirked back.

"You don't usually get to know what I'm going to do to you," Loki told him, mostly for the other Clint's sake. "I suppose this is a gift to you as well, then, little bird."

\---

Clint wanted to be put off by the nickname he hated so much, but this body took it with unconscious joy and the other Clint nearly melted for it. He decided not to comment on it this time. "Tell me or it's off," Clint warned instead, trying to keep his voice level with how all the blood was rushing south.

\---

"He's demanding to know your plans," Clint snickered.

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. "Demands." Clint bit back a laugh and watched how Loki's eyes sparkled. They were both thinking the same thing. "If he is this much like you were in the beginning, I wonder if he will be as submissive as you are now?" Loki wondered. 

Clint groaned and arched his neck in a sign of just how submissive he was. "Don't be mean," he breathed, more for the other Clint than himself; he loved when Loki was mean.

"Why not? You  _love_  when I'm mean," Loki called him out, followed by a harsh scratch to his bare chest. "Are you afraid for our guest?" he wondered, and Clint nodded. "Don't be. He loves this just as much as you do, though he has yet to admit it to himself."

\---

Clint had both hands gripped in the sofa, head thrown back as he listened in and let the sensations from his own body, his real body, flow over this new, slightly strange one. This Clint held himself differently. His muscle definition was more pronounced in some areas and less in others. But what really felt different was the way he gave in to the things Loki was saying, like it was ingrained into this body somehow. 

His mind wanted to fight against it, wanted to throw up two mental middle fingers to Loki for assuming anything about him, but his body was soft, pliable and he was pressing the seam of his jeans. "Just fucking tell me already," he panted.

\---

"He's getting more desperate," Clint relayed. "He wants to know." Loki was clouding his mind, soon enough he wouldn't be in the right mind to play telephone. If Loki didn't give the other Clint what he wanted soon, Clint might not be able to help him.

Luckily, Loki kissed his shoulder and murmured, "Alright, then. Let him know. It will only serve to make him more desperate." The dominant rolled Clint back onto his stomach and knelt over him, straddling his ass. "I plan to revel in your return to me, little bird. I will mark you as mine in every way. There is no inch of this body that will not scream  _slave_  when I am done with you. You will have the marks of my teeth on your back, the lines of my nails up your thighs, the print of my hand across your ass, and the streaks of my cum on your face."

"Loki," Clint whined and rolled his ass back, trying to get Loki to just get on with it, but Loki gripped his hip harshly and pushed him into the carpet. 

"But first, you will have none of it until he says he wants it," Loki purred, mischief in his voice.

Clint's whole body froze. "No," he begged. "Please, he won't-"

Loki growled, silencing his lover. "Then you won't either..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised some actual smut this week, but this chapter was necessary. I wanted to establish that connection between the Clint's and I needed everyone to know that Loki wouldn't just take advantage of the situation. BUT! I want the smut as much as you do, so I'm planning to write it up this week and post it before the next official update. 
> 
> That means subscribe and keep a lookout for the chapter sometime this week! Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	15. XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint, Clint, and Loki. They just have some sex. Yep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, friends. The extra chapter. I didn't realize how complicated writing smut for two of the same people in different dimensions would be. I hope this comes across alright. Another regular update on Tuesday! (P.s. this has been very hastily beta'd by me and me alone, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.) Enjoy xo

Clint had to of heard wrong. Maybe this psychic link thing was breaking up. He swore he just heard Loki tell the other Clint that he wanted to hear  _him_ say that he wanted this.

Yeah, right.

"Not a chance," Clint gritted even as he felt the ghost of Loki's hand brush down his side, leaving fire in its wake.

\---

"He is refusing," Clint answered honestly. He could lie, tell Loki that the other guy was all for it, begging even, but Loki knew him better than he knew himself and lying wasn't something they did.

Loki tisked and squeeze Clint's willing ass in both hands. "Then, maybe I can convince him." The god of mischief moved down Clint's body enough to lay between his thighs on his stomach and kiss the base of his spine. His lover sighed and let his head fall, forehead resting on the floor as he focused on keeping his hips still.

Loki tucked his fingers in Clint's pants and tugged them down enough to reveal the soft round globes of his ass. The air felt cool against his heated body, making his skin prickle with anticipation. The god molded the flesh in his hands, spreading him open before squeezing them together. 

"Barton, the body you wear belongs to me," he reminded, so sure of the fact that it left no room for either Clint to argue. "And if it belongs to me," he reiterated with another hard squeeze, "then it is mine to do with what I please."

Clint was nodding but he could feel the other Clint shaking his head, could feel his rebuttal. Before the other guy could say anything, though, Clint panted, "I'm yours, sir. Thank you." He wasn't going to let some pale imitation of him stop him from being held again. 

\---

"Thank you?" Clint growled. "You're such a fucking pussy. He's a monster, and you're bending over for him." Maybe he was being cruel. It wasn't even Loki himself that was making Clint so angry. He suspected it was that it was a different Clint that was getting what he'd only let himself dream about for so long. "Why should I let him touch me?"

\---

"Shut up," Clint demanded and Loki made a concerned sound behind him. "Not you, sir, obviously. Please, keep going."

Loki only chuckled, not moving from where he held Clint's ass cheeks wide open. "You two must agree or neither of you will have me."

"He's impossible!" Clint argued and received a light swat to his hip as a reprimand. "I'm sorry. He's not cooperating."

"It is his body," Loki reminded. 

Clint was shaking his head, his forehead scraping against the floor. "No, I belong to you." He lost a small bit of control and rolled his ass back against the man that sat over him. "Barton," he snarled. "I need this. Let me have this."

\---

He needed this?  _He_  needed this? He was the one that Loki loved. He was the one that Loki  _chose_ and he was the one that got to have the man that Loki promised to be. Clint could feel the way he teetered between letting go, living vicariously through his own body, and raging against having to witness and yet never truly knowing. 

It was like the other Clint could feel Clint's resolve faltering because then the other guy ground into the floor as Clint felt it as if he'd done it himself. His- not  _his_ \- cock twitched hard in his jeans and he had to reach down and undo the fly just to relieve some of the pressure. 

"This isn't fair," he whined and hated how it sounded.

\---

Clint laughed and knew he sounded hysterical. Loki kissed across one cheek and then the other. "Darling," he purred. "What does he say?"

"He says it's not fair that I'm here with you and he isn't."

\---

"No! That's not what I said. Fuck you!"

\---

"That's what you meant," Clint accused. "If you want him so badly, this is your chance."

Loki shushed him. "Don't be cruel, my love. Remember how hard it was for you to admit your desires in the beginning."

Clint smiled, remembering exactly that. "You had to show me what I wanted when I couldn't tell you."

"Tell our new Clint how hard it was for you to admit what you wanted," Loki instructed. 

Clint shook his head. "Loki, please."

Loki dug his nails into Clint's ass hard enough to make an unflattering squeak fall off his lips. "Tell him what you wanted, dove," Loki ordered.

Clint felt the other archer's breath catch and knew exactly how that felt. "I-I wanted..." Loki placed a sweet kiss on his back and hummed, encouraging. "I wanted you to hold me down. I wanted you to take charge and make me bend to you."

"You did," Loki confirmed. "What else?"

The other Clint was waiting with bated breath. "I wanted you to break me," he confessed. 

Clint gasped, sharp and surprised. "Darling?" Loki asked.

He felt the moment the other Clint wrapped a hand around his body's length. "He's touching me, my...body," Clint admitted, suddenly shy about what they were doing as it became crushingly real. 

Loki pressed a moan into his back and rocked his trapped erection against his ass. "Clint," he spoke and the archer didn't know which one he was referring to, "tell me you want this."

"I want this."

\---

Clint's hands were shaking but he kept his voice level as he finally admitted. "I- I want this."

\---

"Yes," Clint groaned. "Thank you, Clint." He felt Loki's smile against his skin. 

"He agreed," Loki guessed and Clint nodded emphatically. "My many thanks, Barton, and I will do my best to make you feel as good as your body will."

\---

"This is fucking insane," Clint grumbled but his hand tightened on his prick at Loki's promise. 

\---

"He hasn't even gotten started," Clint teased, relieved that the other Clint finally agreed and so turned on by Loki's hands on his ass.

Loki licked across the line of Clint's shoulder and hummed. "I wish I could hear him," he mused. "You will tell me his every word, every groan, and you," he took Clint's earlobe between his teeth and gave it a yank, "will not come tonight." His hand smack against his caged cock.

"Loki, that's not-" He cut off when Loki's fingers dug in. "I just mean, I've waited so long for you." 

"Then this will be fun," he taunted. 

The archer felt the other Clint shiver as if it were his own skin. Clint looked back over his shoulder and saw Loki's eyes roaming over the body he was occupying. "Is this okay?" Clint asked them both, suddenly insecure. 

\---

Somehow he knew the question was just as much for him and it was for Loki. He also knew that what he should say would be different than what he would say. " _Yes,_ " he moaned and slid his pants further to get at his balls.

\---

Clint's balls contracted, only emphasizing that his cock was trying against the odds to thicken. He groaned, frustrated and pained, as he felt the pleasure of a hand on his cock from the other Clint yet couldn't show the proof of it. 

Loki took in his form for a few more seconds before inhaling deeply and grinning. "Take off my clothes," he ordered, still smiling, and the dichotomy between the hard words and his soft voice made the archer shiver. He waited until Loki's hands dropped from his body to turn around on his knees. 

Clint reached out but paused. This Clint's hands were just like his, but there was a bruise on his left pointer finger's nail. He shook the hand like he could Etch-A-Sketch the bruise away and went to work on Loki's button-up. Loki sat back on his heels and surveyed him as he worked. With each button that opened up, Clint's mouth pooled with desire. 

He was tempted to lean forward and mouth at Loki's sleek chest but he didn't have permission and he  _really_  wanted to be good so he undid Loki's shirt obediently and slid it off his shoulders. Loki spread his knees wider, hips tilting towards Clint deliciously to offer up the zipper of his pants.

Clint tucked his fingers under Loki's waistband, gripping and tugging just to bring him that tiniest bit closer. He plucked the button from its hole and slid his thumb down the zipper, splitting it in half and showcasing the hard bulge pressing Loki's black underwear. He slipped both hands under the open fly, allowing himself to trace over the length of his lover's arousal indulgently. 

Loki sat up on his knees and let Clint tug the slim pants off his hips and to his knees. Clint's nose was just barely brushing Loki's clothed erection and he tilted his eyes up, asking for permission. When Loki nodded, nearly imperceptible, he parted his lips and mouthed at the girth. 

\---

Clint gasped, mouth falling slack as the texture of soft cotton rubbed against his lips. He could taste him, smell him, and he wished- for just the briefest moment- that he could touch him. He flicked his tongue out and swore it burst with the flavor of Loki's precum.

\---

Clint snaked out his tongue and pressed it to the weeping tip of Loki's hidden cockhead. Loki huffed out a breath but just slipped his hands into Clint's hair and pressed the archer's face hard against him. He'd give anything to stay here, breathing in his lover with Loki's hands on him, forever.

The next moment, Loki yanked him back by his hair and said, "What is he doing?"

Clint's mouth fell open. He couldn't string together a whine much less understand what Loki was asking. "I..."

Loki gripped harder. "That body-  _my_ body. What is he doing?"

\---

_My body._

This body belonged to Loki. He knew it in every fiber of muscle and every vessel of blood. That meant, for now, he belonged to Loki. The finality of that sang through his veins and had him arching off the couch and digging his toes into his shoes.

"Yours," he murmured, letting the admission fuel him.

\---

Clint felt his submission as sweetly as the day he'd first bowed to Loki. "He says-" Clint licked his lips and felt his caged dick give a valiant pulse. "He says he's yours."

Loki yanked him up by his hair to smash their mouths together in something too feral to be a kiss. "He has bowed?" Loki questioned.

Clint nodded as best he could when Loki held him in place. "Yes, sir."

The god leaned in and placed his silvertongue against Clint's ear. "Barton, you will understand what it means to be owned. Clint is mine. That body is  _mine_. You will concede to me."

\---

"Fuck," Clint whined and pulled his hand away from the dick that looked exactly like his yet somehow felt different. He was teetering on the edge already and he had a sneaking suspicion that coming right now would be a mistake. 

Loki laid claim to him with such a force that it didn't matter if he was physically there or not. Clint felt it all the same. He was Loki's. At least, he was for now. Loki's hand was tight in the other Clint's hair and then two fingers were pushing into his mouth and Clint opened his mouth for the phantom digits.

\---

Clint suctioned his lips around the two fingers Loki pushed against his tongue. He tasted exactly like he remembered and it made a tear trickle down his cheek as he sucked harder. Loki tilted his head towards Clint's cheek and licked the tear off his skin. Even that belonged to him. 

The dark-haired god pulled his fingers free and shoved Clint's upper body down until he was resting on his forearms and his face was blissfully even with Loki's hard length again. "Well?" Loki urged. "Show our friend what you're good for."

Clint tried not to pull too hard against the hold Loki still had in his hair as he pulled Loki's waistband to tuck under his sack. He licked a long, urgent strip up the underside of his lover before swirling his tongue around the head to gather the wetness that was pushing at the hole. He kept his eyes on Loki as best he could, hoping that the other Clint could somehow see this, the way Loki was looking at him, the love in his eyes.

\---

Clint could see Loki's face in his head like the connection had strengthened and now he was viewing their world in HD. The way Loki was looking at him- at his _body_  but not him- made a full-body shiver take over him. He tasted Loki on his tongue, felt the smooth texture of him and had to lick his suddenly dry lips. 

\---

The archer pulled off Loki's cockhead just long enough to say. "He is thirsty for you, sir."

Loki groaned, low but still so controlled. "Give him what he wants," he ordered and pulled Clint's mouth down around him until his tip tickled at the back of his throat. Clint gagged in surprise; this body hadn't been trained out of it yet. He took a deep breath through his nose and pressed down harder, lips kissing Loki's pelvis. 

"This is where you belong," Loki purred. "You will always look prettiest face down for me."

Clint groaned, that familiar hazy feeling creeping up the back of his skull. He belonged here; he'd missed his home since Loki had disappeared and now he was finally where he should be again. He swallowed, realized this body hadn't mastered that trick yet, and gagged around Loki's shallowly thrusting arousal.

Loki laughed, harsh and pleased and yet ragged. "Barton does not have your skill, little bird. Though I must admit," he added as he thrust harder, "I do enjoy making you choke on me."

\---

Clint moaned at the same time as the one with Loki down his throat. He wished he was  _there_. He wished he was the one being choked. He could feel it- his airway couldn't quite gather air like it was a few minutes ago- but it was superficial and...fucking unfair.  _He_ wanted to know what it was like. He wanted Loki to look at  _him_  like that for the first time since that week so long ago.

"I want him to fuck my face," Clint told his opposite, hating how needy he sounded but too focused on the feeling of Loki brushing his tonsils. 

\---

The groan the archer gave around Loki's length coupled with the urgent rocking of his hips in the air made Loki pull out and tilt his head in question. Clint gasped for air; this body needed so much of it. "He wants-" he panted before swallowing and trying again. "He wants you to fuck his face- my face, sir."

Loki sighed and Clint felt his relief like a blanket. "He is following in your footsteps, my darling," Loki teased, but his voice was too soft to be taken as a taunt.

"Yes, sir," Clint agreed and kissed Loki's stomach. "I want you to.  _Please_." 

"Of course you do. You want to show off to our guest, make him jealous that you are here and he is not. You want to be used to your fullest potential and rub it in his face." Loki was taunting now and Clint shivered. Before he could protest, or, more likely, agree, Loki shoved his face to the ground and leaned over his back. 

Two sharp, powerful slaps landed on his ass, making his whole body tense. 

\---

Clint groaned and nearly jumped off the couch. "Fuck! What the fuck?" he shouted, then realized there was no one to yell at. He laid out flat on the couch cushions on his stomach and rubbed at the stinging in his ass. "What was that for?"

\---

Clint curled his hands into fists. "That wasn't for you," Clint told him. "That was my punishment for being prideful." And  _God_  did it feel good. 

\---

"Well, can you tell him to punish you so it doesn't hurt me?" Clint jabbed.

\---

Clint rolled his hips into Loki's hard, squeezing hands. "Is that what you want?" he asked.

\---

He thought about, tried to ignore the beautiful pain of Loki's hands massaging the hurt, and decided, "No, I guess not."

\---

"I know. Just let him take care of you," Clint advised and felt the other guy melt at the promise. "He wants more, please," Clint voiced for Loki, head still pressed to the floor between Loki's thighs. 

He heard Loki's scoff. "Yes, he is very much like you, love." Then, Loki spanked him again and both Clint's jolted. It was harder than the first two and followed quickly by Loki pressing the pain into his skin. A handful more and Clint was wriggling, wishing he could get hard even if Loki didn't let him come.

"Sir, please?"

Loki moved back enough to pull Clint up to look at him. "What is it?"

"Please take the cage off. It hurts," he begged.

\---

Clint froze. He'd totally forgotten about the cage. "Jesus Christ," he moaned and rocked his hips against the couch. "Clint, I'm sorry. That was from last night."

\---

Loki reached a hand down and squeezed at his purpling balls. "No. This Clint wanted to be caged and so he will be. I am not the one that put it on and I will not be the one to take it off. Besides, we've already confirmed you won't be coming so what would be the point?"

" _Loki._ "

The god scratched cruelly across his back and Clint's mouth dropped open on a silent groan of pain. "Ask again and I will remove yours completely when I return home to you."

Clint knew it wasn't quite an idol threat, so he snapped his mouth shut and pushed back the tears to nod obediently. He could feel the other Clint's indignance but ignored him. It didn't concern him anyway. "Yes, sir," he complied and lowered his eyes in reverence. 

Loki dug his nails in at the base of Clint's spine and dragged them up the line of his back, tugging his hair as he did. Clint gasped into it and tried to hold as still as possible. "Good boy," Loki whispered and pushed him against his stiff cock again. "If Barton wants his face fucked, then we shall give it to him."

" _Yes_." Clint barely got the word out before Loki pushed back in and started up a harsh rhythm of hitting the back of his throat. Clint kept his training in mind, had to call on it more consciously since this body didn't know it naturally. He breathed in through his nose and keep his jaw slack, tongue pressed against Loki's shaft. 

\---

Clint felt the repetitive assault against his throat and buried his face in the couch to muffle his moan. His hand snaked under him to finally take himself in his grip again. His Loki had never done this before. His Loki was powerful and in control but never punishing, never bruising- no matter had badly Clint wished he would've been.

He had been waiting for Loki to use him like this since the day the scepter touched his heart. He wished for it even harder after he was left on the Helicarrier all alone. He hated being left flailing and needed Loki to hold him down. He moaned again as he felt Loki's hand squeeze the back of his neck. 

"Clint?" he heard from the other side of the door.

The archer turned his head from the cushion and sucked in a breath he didn't realize he needed. "Fuck off, Tony!" he yelled across the room and then covered his mouth to muffle another moan as the other Clint started losing his awareness. 

"Are you okay in-"

"Shut up, Tony, I swear to God I will shoot you in your sleep!" 

\---

Clint could vaguely hear the voice of his comrade and friend in the other guy's head, but Loki was so prevalent and his mind was going fuzzy, his vision blackening around the edges with oxygen deprivation, and he couldn't focus on it. Loki was pistoning his hips faster, murmuring pet names down at Clint's form. He was close.

Spit rolled down his chin and tears tracked down his cheeks. He was a mess and he wouldn't have it any other way. He was already halfway to unconscious when Loki reached up and pinched his nose closed. For a couple seconds, he panicked, couldn't help but to, but then his whole body went lax in Loki's hold and he barely kept his head up enough to hold Loki between his lips.

Loki cursed as Clint's eyes fluttered shut and he spilled down his lover's throat. The archer didn't have the faculties to swallow, so Loki's thrust pushed semen back out from between his lips to trickle down his chin and neck until he pulled out and took both hands off Clint's body. Clint slumped to the floor, but Loki's hand slipped under his head before it could hit the floor, gently laying it down.

\---

Clint wanted to swallow down the taste of Loki, but the other Clint's mind had gone fuzzy and all Clint could discern was Loki's presence, his hand, the smell of him, the authority in his release. He pushed his scream into the couch as he shot between his body and the cushion, mind reeling and hips thrusting unevenly. He felt as Clint collapsed and then he felt Loki catch him and another blob of seed pressed from his slit. 

"Holy shit," he breathed, lost in it. He'd never felt anything like that. Not even with his Loki. He'd never really understood what power could mean until that moment.

\---

Loki leaned down over Clint and brushed his hair back off his sweaty face, kissing his temple. "Beautiful," he murmured before moving to Clint's ear to whisper, "You could have this, Barton, if you allow it." He laid down on the floor to press against Clint's back and held him tight.

\---

Clint rolled off the couch to the floor, heaving for breath, and curled up like he could feel the other Clint doing when Loki moved behind him just to pretend that he did have this, just for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was longer than my normal chapters (as my smut chapters tend to be) but still, I feel like there's so much more to say. Hopefully, once the Clint's figure themselves out we can get more of Loki and Clint. I'd love to know what you think! I'll see you in a couple day. Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	16. XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get clear as mud when Clint wakes up back in his own body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're really getting into the Frosthawk. Whoop! Happy Tuesday and enjoy xo.

Clint woke up to Loki speaking soft, foreign words into his ear. He arched back into the solid line of the god's body and listened until he could discern what his lover was doing. The words were sure but his voice was reluctant. "You're sending me home, aren't you?" Clint asked.

Loki's words paused and then a kiss fell to his shoulder. "I had hoped to finish before you woke. Being separated from your true shell, your world, for too long can cause irreparable damage."

Clint turned to face Loki and slid a hand up his back to hold him closer. "I'm not going to argue with you, but I don't want to leave you yet." The words seemed to hit Loki like a spear to the chest and the air left him in a whoosh. He set his forehead against Clint's and breathed him in.

"I will be home to you as soon as I can."

"I know," Clint agreed, "but in the meantime, you'll be here." He rubbed his palm up and down the long line of Loki's spine, relishing the sigh it got him. "Is the link broken?" Clint wondered and when Loki nodded, he said, "You want to know what I think?"

"Always," Loki assured.

"I think," Clint answered, "you were meant to come here. This Clint needs you. I've never-" He shuddered. "I've never felt someone need you as badly as he does...besides maybe me, of course."

Loki shared his smile and kissed his cheek. "He does," Loki confirmed. "I want to help him, but it isn't truly me that he needs."

"What do you mean?" Clint questioned.

The god shifted onto his back and pulled Clint onto his chest, stroking through his short hair. "I am merely his substitute like he is mine for you in this world. He needs his Loki, but he is so far from accepting it that if I leave him here like he is now, he will live his entire existence in self-hatred."

"So help him," Clint urged, one leg slipping comfortably between Loki's thighs. He leaned down and pecked Loki's lips. "And don't come home until you do."

"Clint," Loki warned, not a fan of the joke.

Clint continued, "I mean it. I want you to help him. If he's anything like I was before I had you, then I wouldn't want anyone to live like that. You have to help him, and then you can come home to me."

Loki wrapped and arm around his lover and pulled him down to rest on his chest, cheek pressed to the hollow of his throat. "I can't say how long it will take me."

The archer sighed, nuzzling into the warmth of him. "I know, but I'll be waiting." Loki only hummed and kissed his hair, smoothing a hand over Clint's arm. "Go ahead, babe. Send me back. The sooner he gets to his body, the sooner you come home."

"I don't-" Loki broke off and Clint lifted his head at the suspicious sound of emotion. Sure enough, Loki's eyes were wet but the tears wouldn't shed. "I don't want to."

Clint smiled sadly, pushing himself higher to bring Loki into a deep, soothing kiss. "I know," he whispered against his mouth. "I'll be waiting," he reminded. He lifted one of Loki's hands and placed it over his head. "Do it."

Loki grimaced like the words physically hurt him but began to chant nonetheless. His fingers traced the age-old runes in the air above Clint's head as he spoke until Clint's eyes fell shut and he slumped back down to lay on Loki's chest. When he was alone, Loki finally let a tear fall.

 

Clint startled awake, sitting up with a jolt and panting for air. He felt like he'd been hit by a Helicarrier and groaned as soon as his voice would operate. "Fuck," he mouthed to himself and rubbed at his head, a splitting headache pounding at his skull.

"Hey, buddy. You're okay." Clint flinched, the familiar voice too loud in his state. "Ope, sorry," the voice whispered. "Here you go, want some water?" Then, the cool metal of a straw was pressing against his lips and he parted them to suck down the blissful liquid, barely holding his eyes at slits. 

He swallowed down the water and sighed as it lubricated his sore throat. "What hap-" He stopped at the sound of his voice, rough and raw, and touched his throat. 

"Yeah, Loki said you'd be sore. Whatever that bastard did to you, don't worry, we're taking care of him."

Clint squeezed his eyes shut again; he couldn't handle the visual onslaught as well as the information. "Wait," he croaked and rubbed at his throat some more, trying to ease the feeling of being stripped to the bone. "Where?"

"You're in your room. You're safe. I'm here. Bruce is here. Natasha and Steve are with that lunatic."

Finally, the archer forced his eyes open and took in the scene before him. Tony held the cup of water on his lap and was looking at Clint a little too intensely. Bruce was standing behind him, a cool pack in one hand and looking his usual calm self- though they all knew how deceiving that could be.

"Where is he?" Clint asked, some of his last memories finally coming back to him. He'd switched bodies with someone- not just someone...himself. He groaned again and Tony must've taken it as fear because he placed a gentle hand on Clint's covered knee.

"He's being taken care of. That's the last time we ask you to intervene with him. Fool us once, right?"

Clint didn't understand. "Taking care of him?"

Bruce came forward and delicately pushed Clint back onto his pillow and placed the cool pack on his forehead. It was delightfully cold and Clint's immediately relaxed. Bruce answered, "He's in the Hulk's holding cell. He can't get to you. Natasha and Steve are making sure of it."

Loki was in a holding cell. With Natasha and Steve.  _Taking care of him?_  Clint shot up again, launching the pack onto the bed. "No!" he shouted and tried to pull the covers off his body but Tony and Bruce's hands were on him in a heartbeat.

"Relax, Clint. You're okay."

"No," Clint urged and struggled harder. "He didn't- Loki didn't-"

"He can't hurt you," Tony assured him. 

He was missing everything! Clint pushed Bruce off of him, knew the scientist would fight him the least and climbed off the bed on the opposite side as Tony to stand. "He didn't do anything."

Tony scoffed, but then must have realized how rude that sounded and sighed. "You don't have to hide from us. We found you two on the floor after Loki finally lowered his spell on the door. We saw what he-" Tony cut himself off and lowered his eyes to the floor. "I'm so sorry," he implored. "I'm sorry we couldn't get to you faster."

Clint was slowly but surely stepping closer to the door as he spoke. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Tony. I appreciate the help but-"

"We saw the cage, Clint," Bruce interrupted. "We saw your face and the scratches, the bruises. We're not holding anything he did against you."

Clint froze halfway to the door at being confronted with everything that had happened. It had happened to someone else, after all. He'd felt it, it was his body, but it wasn't him. "You don't understand..."

"I know," Tony agreed, sounding disgusted, and Clint hated to think that it was directed towards him. "We can't possibly try to understand what he did, but he won't ever touch you again. We'll never ask you to go near him again. That's on us. We're  _so_  sorry."

The archer shook his head. "You don't understand..." was all he could say. They never would. "I have to go." Tony moved to block him then, but Clint ran across the bed and maneuvered around the engineer, ignoring the aches in his body. "Trust me," Clint called back as he opened his bedroom door, and then he took off running, grateful to them for at least putting him in joggers so he didn't streak through the whole of the compound naked.

The Hulk's holding cell was multiple floors down and Clint suspected Tony might stall F.R.I.D.A.Y. from letting him use the elevator, so he slammed open the door to the stairs and ambled down the steps as fast as he could. 

Of course, they'd found him naked and marked up with Loki's arms around him. Of course, they took the god and threw him in a cell. Of course, they thought Loki had abused him, raped him and worse. Of course...Of course, Clint couldn't let them hurt him for something he'd begged for.

He pointedly ignored the obvious freedom of his now uncaged dick, didn't want to think about the interaction that happened while he was unconscious. He momentarily mourned the loss before focusing and jumping over the railing to get to the next flight. When he saw the appropriate floor he slid to a  stop and yanked on the door handle. 

Locked.

Clint sighed shorty and slammed his palm on the door. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., open this door."

"Boss's orders, Mr. Barton."

Clint yelled, frustrated and tired, and banged his fist against it. "Tony can't make my decisions for me, F.R.I.D.A.Y. I want this door to open. Now!" A long, tense few seconds of silence and then a clicking sound of door unlocking filled the stairwell. "Thank you," Clint sighed and wrenched open the door.

The only thing on this floor was the holding cell and just on the other side of the control room, he saw them. Natasha was standing over Loki's body on the floor, electric baton in hand, while Steve wiped Loki's neck with a rag. Loki was curled up, not hiding but simply taking his undeserving punishment.

He was the first to notice Clint's arrival, the other's backs were facing him, and he pushed himself to sit up. At Loki's movement, Natasha turned and her face went form stone to concern in a second. She shook her head, telling him to go, but Clint set his jaw and pressed the button to open the door.

"Clint," Natasha warned, on her guard now that Loki had an escape plan. 

He ignored her, ignored Steve who stepped between him and Loki, and walked numbly over to the god who was blooded and still looking up at him. He looked down at Loki, taking him in and somehow feeling better just seeing him, despite his state. Clint lowered to his knees and lurched forward, wrapping his arms around Loki's waist and burying his sweaty face in Loki's neck. 

Loki gasped, taken off guard at the touch, but quickly moaned in relief and wrapped Clint up in his arms, shifting to pull Clint into his lap. "You're okay," the god whispered into his ear and Clint audibly heard Steve's gasp. Clint didn't realize he was shaking until Loki squeezed him and whispered a few unknown words to still him. 

"I'm sorry," the archer spilled, voice shaking but he couldn't care, wasn't aware of anything but how badly he needed Loki and what they'd done to him because of Clint. 

Loki shushed him and kissed his temple. "No, darling. I'm well. How are you?" The dark-haired god's hand tenderly graze down his back, running along the raised lines his nails had left. Clint hadn't even had the mind to feel the pain that radiated through his back until Loki called attention to it.

"Hurts," he admitted, hoping he was quiet enough that only Loki could hear.

"I know," Loki acknowledged. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up." He wrapped his arms tighter and Clint melted against him. "Let me soothe them," he offered, but Clint shook his head.

"No. Let me keep them," he pleaded, lifting his head to look at Loki's emerald eyes. Blood was trickling down beside one of them and Clint lifted a hand to wipe it away, making Loki smile softly at him. "I know they aren't really mine, but..."

"They are just as much yours as they are his. You earned them," Loki emboldened him. Clint bit down on a smile, couldn't quite contain his pride, and stretched up to kiss Loki. It wasn't urgent or needy or any of the things he had been before he passed out. Loki let Clint press their lips together and only took what Clint offered to him. 

Clint barely had enough time to register how Loki tasted when Loki's chin jerked up and Clint saw the smooth black metal of Natasha's baton pressed to his neck. Loki swallowed shallowly. "Let him stand before you do. It will hurt him," Loki entreated, eyes pushed down to keep Clint in sight.

"I'd never hurt him," Natasha seethed. "Unlike you."

Clint lifted a hand and placed it on Natasha's slim tool. "Nat, please," he beseeched. "Don't hurt him."

The redhead shook her head. "I don't know what he's done to you, Clint, but we will fix it. I need you to back away." Clint stared back at her and refused to move. "Clint, please, stand up."

"Natasha," Steve tried. Clint wrapped his hand more firmly around Natasha's baton and pulled it to his own neck.

The assassin growled and pulled the baton away. She glared down at Loki and spat, "Haven't you done enough. Leave him alone."

Steve stepped forward then and placed a hand on Natasha's arm. "I think we need to back off." Clint was surprised by Steve's tone and when he looked up to him, he knew Steve had caught on. He didn't look happy about it but at least he was beginning to understand.

Natasha ripped her arm unnecessarily hard out of Steve's hold. "I'm not leaving Clint with that monster," she fumed, eyes never leaving Loki. "Steve, will you please take Clint out of here so I can finish what I started."

Steve stepped around in front of Natasha and blocked her view of the pair. "I don't think we fully understand what's going on here," he tried again, pulling a scoff from the redhead.

"I have no idea what's going on here, but I'm going to find out if I have to beat every single word out of him."

Clint actually felt a pain in his chest at her words and gripped Loki's shirt tight. Loki murmured a ' _you are well'_  in his ear. Steve puffed out his chest, truely getting into Natasha's face now. "You are letting your emotions control you, and I believe we may have misjudged the situation. Let me speak with Clint and Loki alone."

"Not a chance, Cap."

"Natasha," Steve warned. "I don't want to fight you."

The assassin smirked and tilted a hip out indignantly. "You can try."

"Stop," Clint barked from behind Steve and they both turned to look at him. "You're not listening, Nat. I'm okay. I'd- I'd like to talk to Steve alone for a minute, please."

"Clint, come on..." she urged, but Clint just kept his gaze steady, trying to exude assurance. When he didn't fold, Natasha raised her baton towards Loki in anger, but he didn't fold either, and she lowered it with a pained sighed. "Fine." She looked at the blond. "But if anything happens to him on your watch then I'll have a new victim to play with."

Steve nodded and waited patiently at Natasha stepped back out of the cell, leaving the control room and vanishing out of sight. The captain turned around and placed both hands on his hips, taking in the two men tangled up together below him. "You want to explain to me what's going on between you two?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy. Things aren't anywhere near okay, but I'm still happy. P.s. if you didn't catch the extra chapter, GO BACK! Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	17. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint finally agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised that we'd get to the goody good Frosthawk business this week, so here you go. I'm super excited about writing this next section of the fic. Enjoy xo
> 
> As per usual, unbeta'd and all mistakes are mine.

Steve was surprisingly calm while Clint and Loki explained what happened. When he asked ' _what now?_ ' though, Loki looked to him and Clint was at a loss. Clint deflected his eyes to the wall behind Loki's head and said, "I don't know."

The blond only nodded and back up towards the door. "How about I give you guys some privacy?" He wagged a finger towards the ceiling of the cell. "Not too much privacy obviously," he countered, referencing the surveillance cameras, "but you know." He awkwardly shrugged and showed himself out, leaving Clint and Loki alone. 

Suddenly, Clint felt way too vulnerable. He'd gone rampaging through the complex, yelling at his friends, and then he'd had the gall to huddle down in Loki's lap like a child. The shame of it burned in his cheeks.

"Barton," Loki garnered his attention with the soft word. "Please share your thoughts with me."

Clint shook his head. "I can't."

Loki pressed his face to Clint's cheek and breathed him in. "You may say whatever is on your mind to me. I will hold none of it against you. You have my word."

His word. Loki's word meant nothing, less than nothing after he'd abandoned him years ago. "I can't trust you," he admitted, and even that much felt like too much. "I want to," he corrected, "but how can I after what you did?" He should get up. He shouldn't be cradled in Loki's arms, but he couldn't move. The god was cool against his heated skin and he kept pressing his lips to Clint's face and it felt so good.

"I am not him," Loki reminded, "but even if I were, I do not believe your Loki would hurt you without very good reason."

"I don't care what the reason was," Clint protested, voice sound more petulant than forceful. "He  _left_ me after everything he said, everything he did to me."

"I know," Loki cooed and stroked his hair. "He gave you the smallest taste and now you're hungry for him."

Clint flinched and pushed off Loki's chest. "No," he argued. "That's not what I said."

Loki didn't rise to the bait, only smiled gently at him and shook his head. "You didn't have to." He pulled Clint back to him and brought his mouth to Clint's ear, keeping his voice tilted low enough that the cameras wouldn't pick it up. "I know what you need, archer. I, and I alone, can give it to you.  _Let me_."

A whine pushed from Clint's throat completely without his permission and he burned hot when he heard it. "I can't," he said again.

"Why not?" Loki wondered.

Clint buried his face, the shame of needing to hide less embarrassing than having to say this to Loki's face. "Everyone will know what I am."

Loki hummed in understanding but lifted Clint chin up with two steady fingers. "I will protect you. You will become your greatest self once you bow to me. Don't let other's expectations limit you. We both know what you are meant to be."

He did. He did know. He'd known it from the moment he met Loki and it was confirmed just the night before when he saw the other Clint bend so beautifully to Loki's will. He was always meant to bend to Loki's will, and now he had proof. His heart had taken little convincing to bloom bright blue under Loki's command all those years ago. Even when he'd removed the thrall, Clint had barely fought back during those nights together before he was kneeling at Loki's feet. And now, here in Loki's lap, he was coming apart piece by piece for Loki.

"Yes, sir," he whispered and closed his eyes in peace. Loki inhaled deeply like he could smell Clint's submission in the air and gripped the back of his neck firmly. 

"Thank you," he breathed, pulling Clint tight against him. "You've chosen well, my archer."

Clint didn't lift his head, too engrossed by the weight of Loki's hand, but asked, "What do I do now?" He was so lost; he needed Loki to guide him.

"I will train you to behave how I choose. You can conform to my will and I will reward you justly," Loki informed him like it was obvious.

"What does that mean?" Clint questioned. Loki only purred mischievously against his ear before licking across the round shell, making the archer shuddered, but he couldn't tell if it was lust or fear.

Apparently, training began immediately. Loki picked Clint up off the floor and waved the door to the cell open, proving he'd chosen not to fight back the entire time. It made something prideful burst in Clint's chest. He couldn't consider it long though because Loki's hand was squeezing his neck and leading him to the elevator. "Take us to my room," he commanded into the air. F.R.I.D.A.Y. shot the elevator upwards without a word, unusual for the sarcastic A.I., while Loki spent the ride up healing his wounds.

Loki led Clint into his small- or small for the multi-million dollar tower- accommodations and straight to his room. Clint thought for a terrifying yet glorious moment that Loki was going to fuck him, but then he sat Clint down and went into his bathroom. The archer wasn't sure what to do with himself while he waited, so he tucked his hands under his thighs and looked around Loki's room.

It was pretty much exactly like Clint expected: sleek, mostly black, but there were little things that Clint hadn't expected. There was an intricate green and gold banner hanging across the back of Loki's dresser, a small metal statue in the vague shape of three old women sitting on his nightstand. He wasn't sure where Loki got the trinkets considering he was pretty sure the god hadn't been outside the complex since he arrived.

Loki returned from the bathroom with a bottle of lotion and a damp towel. Clint didn't really like where this was going. When he thought Loki was going to lay him down and fuck him, at least that was basic and could be blamed on their bodies. This seemed intimate, if not romantic. It surely felt that way when Jenny had used the same supplies on him just the night before.

"What's that for?" Clint asked, though he already had a hunch.

Loki set the supplies down on his nightstand, right next to the three old ladies, and smiled over his shoulder at Clint. "Lay on your stomach," he ordered, gently yet firmly enough that Clint didn't really have a say. "I take care of what's mine," the god added and sat on the edge of the bed next to Clint's prone form. Seconds later, he smoothed a slick hand up Clint's back, making him hiss at the residual pain of the nail marks and coolness of the lotion. He massaged it in, behaving like this was commonplace for him. It probably was.

"When they look at you, everyone will know that you belong to me." Loki tugged at Clint's waistband, snapping it against the small of his back and making Clint huff in anticipation. "These markings, however," he snarled and squeezed Clint's ass, "do not belong to me. Where did you get them?"

Clint swallowed hard. He wasn't sure he wanted to reveal his activities, even though he was meant to be learning how to obey Loki. They were just for him and Jenny and Charlotte. That was his. Apparently, his first act as this Loki's thrall would be to defy him. He turned his face the opposite way on the bed so he didn't have to look at the god and stayed silent. Loki hummed, unimpressed, and then a sharp smack landed on his already sore ass and Clint yelped and brought his hands back to cover it.

He snapped his head around and glared at the god, but Loki simply looked down at him with an expectant brow raised. "Where did you get them?" he asked again, this time yanking Clint's sweats down below his ass to get a good look at the mixed markings of Jenny's and Loki's hands. 

Clint refused to feel embarrassed; he'd never been ashamed of his body and he wasn't going to start now, but being laid out and exposed for Loki to condemn felt too raw and he tried yet again to cover himself. Loki tisked and twirled his fingers and then Clint's arms were drawn up the bed and he felt the green swirls around his wrist like weights, holding them in place. "One last chance, my archer. Where did you obtain the marks that are not mine?"

Obstinance rose up in Clint like a tidal wave. How could he have possibly thought that it would be a good idea to bow to Loki? Loki was manic, psychopathic, and he thrived on humiliating others. He didn't want to be under the thumb of an insane man, he thought childishly. Clint clenched his mouth shut and glared at Loki above him but tellingly didn't try to escape or get away.

"Unfortunate," Loki murmured and swung a leg over to straddle Clint's calves. "Don't say I didn't give you opportunities to save yourself." 

If that wasn't foreboding...

Loki pressed both hands into Clint's back and pain flared up under the scratches. He squirmed but Loki only pressed harder, holding Clint against the mattress. He worked his hands in big, sweeping circles over Clint's back- something like a massage if it wasn't sharpened by the pain of Loki's leftover marks. One hand pressed down between Clint's shoulder blades while the other moved down to circle and squeeze at Clint's ass. 

It was infuriating that it hurt so badly and yet somehow felt almost too good. Clint couldn't decide between cowering away and rocking back into it. "They are beautiful markings, Barton, I'll admit. The one who left these must truly understand the importance of their work."

Loki curled his fingers and dug his nails in, making Clint bury his face in the bed and whimper. "Still, I don't appreciate someone else touching my things." Clint struggled under him, turned his head just enough to spit ' _fuck you_ ' and received another sharp dig of nails as he compensation. 

"I will cleanse you of them and then replace them with more of my own. Though, I warn you..." He leaned down over Clint's body just close enough that the archer could feel the warm press of his clothed erection against his ass and whispered against his neck. "It will hurt."

Clint hated the weak whine that crawled its way out and he demanded his body to stay still and not roll back against Loki's hips. Still, Loki seemed pleased by Clint's response and delivered a brief peck of his lips to Clint's shoulder before sitting back up and clawing both hands down his back. Then his hands were gone and Clint was shaking before he felt a sudden intense pulling at his ass, like something under his skin was trying to claw its way out. 

The feeling solidified and the pain increased and Clint screamed, clutching the bedding in his bound fists. He collected his trembling muscles enough to turn his head, lips pressed firmly together to keep his noises contained, and looked back over his shoulder to see Loki working his hands over Clint's ass, seeming to pull dark purple directly off his skin like magic paint thinner. The archer watched the color swirl with green in the air and then it seemed to be consumed by it before disappearing. 

His head dropped to the bed, shaking too badly to hold up as the pain only worsened, Clint's entire body tensed and he turned his face just in time to muffle another scream. He kept trying to wrench his hands free, to push Loki off him, but he felt weak and trapped, and worst of all, his cock had filled, pressing uncomfortably into the bed. 

He was getting off on this, on the pain, just as much as Loki seemed to be- which...if Loki was insane, what did that make him?

Little spatterings of whimpers were circling around his head and he couldn't figure out where they were coming from until the pain stopped and his head finally quit ringing and he heard himself mumbled against the bedding. "Please, please, please." The thing was, he wasn't sure if he was begging Loki to stop or to keep going.

"Better," Loki declared before crawling up Clint's body and laying over him, covering him completely and pressing him into the bed. "You are allowed to admit you want this," the god of mischief taunted and rocked his hips against Clint's ass. "I don't need to see your arousal to know that you enjoy the pain. I can taste it in the air around you. I can see the need rising off your body in waves."

Clint panted, breath hot and wet in the small space between his face and the bed. He weakly shook his head, trying to dislodge Loki's words from his mind. Things Clint had barely begun to accept about himself, Loki voiced without hesitation or fanfare. Just simple facts. "Worry not, Barton," Loki purred, mouth right up against his ear. "I will give you all the pain you could dream of, and then more."

" _Fuck_ ," Clint gasped before he could stop himself and felt his entire lower body clench with need. The fight in him drained like water down the drain and he melted into the bed. 

Loki only chuckled, making Clint flush with humiliation, before lifting himself up and getting off the bed. Before Clint could look to see where he was going, a hand was wrapped around each ankle and Loki yanked him halfway off the end of the bed. Clint scrabbled for the bedding, felt like he was tumbling off a cliff in his disorientation. 

The dark-haired man dropped his legs to the floor, leaving Clint bent over the end of the bed, ass open and on display. Then, he tugged Clint's pants to the floor and pressed up against him, hands groping possessively over his slightly less-bruised ass and raw back. Clint felt like Loki's hands were everywhere, somehow multiplied- they could've been, but he didn't have the wherewithal to look back and check. 

Instead, Clint was still reeling from the sudden movement and Loki's words as he relished in the press of the god against him. Loki was here and he wanted him and maybe Clint was scared out of his mind but he was willing to endure the heart attack if it got him what he'd been dreaming of.  "Please, Loki," he whispered, his pride keeping his voice low. 

The hands pressed against his ass trailed up to his waist and gripped hard. "Pitiful, Barton. If you are to beg, do so properly." He jabbed his nails in and raked them down to his hips, making Clint's pelvis jump off the bed.

"Please," he forced, voice louder. 

"Please what?" Loki baited.

Clint could barely breathe. His mind was doing that beautiful thing where it shut down and let his body take over and he didn't have to think anymore and he could just feel, but that meant words were hard and sentences even harder. "Want it- want you."

Loki sighed but his hands just kept roaming over Clint's body, nails clawing and snagging on his skin. "Oh, I'm well aware of how badly you want me, darling. What I need to hear is you begging for it."

The archer's veins raced with embarrassment. Loki was pushing him lower, mocking him and reveling in it. It only made his body warm with need. "Please,  _please_ , Loki. Please, let me have you. I don't-" He shook his head into the bedding and clenched his fists tighter. "I don't care what you do to me. I need it!"

"Darling," Loki moaned and pulled Clint back by his hips to grind into him. "You beg so beautifully when you allow yourself to." He stepped back, leaving Clint cold and floating, to say, "You are mine, my archer."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so much more Frosthawk coming guys. We're into the good part now. Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	18. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki starts Clint's training, but first, a shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'AAAALL! I'm way too excited to start this relationship. The filth will open rise from here so buckle your seat belts. I'm going to go update the tags and try to keep them updated from here. Happy Tuesday, enjoy xo.

Clint hadn't had this much sleep since before he became an agent of SHIELD. He was utterly exhausted and sore and couldn't stop smiling. He also hadn't smiled this much since...way before SHIELD. Loki was wrapped around him, laying over most of him so he was pushing Clint into the bed and pressed against every tender point of his ass and thighs. 

As his eyes flickered open, the first thing he recognized was the heaviness of his limbs and the lightness of his head. Next was the all-encompassing soreness. Then, the pleasant weight that kept him warm and-

And safe, he realized. He couldn't even be bothered to be bothered by the thought with how far away his head was. The new bruises from Loki's hands were flaring bright in his nerves. He hoped they had colored over the night. 

Loki must've felt him wake because he was kissing the damp hair at Clint's nape and squeezing him tighter. "Pleasant dreams?" he asked. He doesn't remember honestly. His sleep was so deep that he wasn't even sure if he dreamt at all. He only gave a noncommital hum to Loki's question, which clearly wasn't good enough. One of Loki's hands traveled down Clint's side and gripped harshly at his bruised ass. Clint gasped, eyes wide open now. "You will answer me when I speak to you."

"Yes, sir," Clint huffed, surprised at how easily the words fell off his lips. "I don't remember."

Loki released his hold and settled his arm around Clint's waist. "Hmm, too bad. I'd like to know what you dream of when I'm not in control of you."

It was like a threat Clint couldn't comprehend. It made him shiver. "I'll try to remember next time, sir."

Loki's deep chuckle was an irritant and a salve. Clint burned with it. "Very good, Barton." With a firm push to Clint's shoulder, Loki pushed up on an elbow. He knew Loki was looking him over and it bothered him much less than it should. "They are coloring beautifully. You mark up well." Loki hummed. "I think I'll keep you."

He knew Loki was teasing, but it suddenly dawned on him that Loki could choose to stop this whenever he wanted. Suddenly, he was too far from the god; he needed to be closer. Clint scooted the last minuscule inch towards Loki and nuzzled his face into Loki's arm. Loki cooed, half sweet and half mocking, and scratched comfortably at his scalp. "Yes, my archer, I will keep you until you no longer have need of me."

"Always need you," he mumbled, speaking before his brain caught up. 

Loki only sighed and leaned down to kiss his neck. "We will see." He rolled away from Clint, standing gracefully from the bed and plucking a robe that was hanging from a coat rack mounted on the wall. "Rise. We have much to do today." He turned and watched patiently as Clint stumbled out of bed on shaky legs, rubbing his face to wake himself up more. "Follow me," he instructed and Clint did without hesitation.

That would be very bad for business.

Loki dropped the robe on his bathroom counter and only then did Clint realize that at some point during the night, Loki had stripped down to just his smooth, silky boxer briefs. Clint hadn't gotten a chance to really observe Loki's body- at least, not this Loki. He knew  _his_  body differed from the other Clint's so he suspected this Loki differed from the one in this universe.

The god's long, lean back stretched to flick the shower on before turning back to Clint. When he saw Clint's roaming eyes and slack mouth, he smiled and snapped his fingers. Clint's gaze jerked up to Loki's and then the dominant pointed a single finger to the floor at his feet and Clint was pulled forward by some unknown willing force inside himself. 

He knelt at Loki's feet and looked up at the man with curiosity. Loki didn't smile, but it was something like it. "You have two minutes to touch me however you like." Clint's mouth fell open, caught off guard by the generous offer, but then Loki raised a brow and said, "Time has started."

Clint's hands lifted instantly but then hovered, unsure where to start. After thinking for what felt like too long, he forewent his hands altogether and pressed his face against Loki's flat lower stomach, just above his soft clothed cock, and inhaled slowly, deeply. Loki tensed but didn't move and Clint took it as permission to continue. He brought his hands down on the outsides of Loki's thighs, not squeezing, not grabbing just touching. They were small but deceivingly well-defined.

His palms slid up over his underwear and to his stomach as he pulled his face back enough to watch his own hands touching the untouchable. Loki's stomach muscles clenched under his ministration, fascinating Clint into pressing his thumbs into the ridges and curves. He smoothed his hands up higher, fingers rippling across his Loki's pink nipples, making the god inhale sharply. Clint filed that away for use at a later date.

He stood slowly, waiting for Loki to reprimand him and shove him back down, but when he didn't, he let his hands move up as he rose. He held Loki's eyes to catch every flicker and reaction. When they were more or less eye level, Clint lowered his gaze to watch his hands skim over Loki's shoulders and down his arms. He had a small inclination to hold Loki's hand but couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

Instead, Clint brushed his hands back up the length of Loki's arms, the edges of his fingers brushing through soft hair. One hand flattened out on Loki's chest while the other curled up and around the side of Loki's neck. The god tensed harshly and Clint froze, eyes connecting with Loki's. The dominant man was staring at Clint, not angry but unyielding. Clint lifted both hands away from Loki's body.

"What did I do?" he asked quietly.

Loki softened, visibly relaxed, and Clint watched the warning drain from Loki's eyes. "I don't often allow someone to touch me there without my permission."

Clint pressed his hand to Loki chest again, choosing the safer place first. "Here?" Loki's jaw clenched but he shook his head sharply. The archer's hand slid up so slowly it felt like it was encased in liquid amber until it just barely graced the line of Loki's neck. "Here?"

Loki's hand snapped up and circled around Clint's wrist. "Yes."

The archer nodded, trying to stay calm when he wanted to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. "I'm sorry," he whispered. 

The green-eyed man huffed a humorless laugh and brought Clint's hand to his mouth for a dry kiss to the plump palm of his hand. "Don't apologize for ignorance. Now, you know better. You won't do it again."

He wouldn't. He never wanted Loki to look at him like. "Yes, sir."

Loki's eyes slipped shut as he inhaled deeply. He released Clint's hand and said. "Would you like to continue?"

_Continue what again?_  "Um...yes." It didn't matter what. He wanted what Loki wanted.

"Go ahead," Loki allowed and held his arms out lazily. Clint realized that meant he was granted permission to touch again and leaned into Loki's body, hands slipping around Loki's waist to his lean back. Clint's lips ghosted across Loki's shoulder as he dug his fingers in just slightly. Loki was physically firm under him but he was the only soft place for Clint to rest his hazy mind. 

"What will you do to me today?" Clint wondered.

Loki exhaled a choppy breath and then Clint felt Loki's hands land on the archer's back. "Would you really like me to tell you or do you want to allow me to lead you blindly, force you to trust me completely?"

Clint's forehead pressed into Loki's shoulder as he bit his lip against a whine. "I don't-" He shook his head and slid his hands persistently up Loki's back. "I want you to lead me," he decided.

"Very good choice, Barton." Loki reached behind himself and pulled Clint's hands off of him. "Get in the shower," he ordered. "My cum is flaking off of you."

Memories of Loki sliding back and forth between his cheeks, denying him everything but giving him so, so much as he pressed Clint's face into the mattress and used him to get off flashed through the submissive's mind. Clint blossomed red as the visuals faded away and he bowed his head under the weight of his humiliation. Loki made an unpleased sound and lifted Clint's head again.

"You will never be ashamed of what I do to you. I will tear you down, make you cry, but you will take your degradation with pride. Understand?" Clint nodded even if he didn't quite believe it yet. "Besides, it's obvious you enjoy it," Loki teased as he slid his boxers down and stepped past the glass and into the shower.

Clint afforded himself just a few seconds to take in the smooth, porcelain body presented to him. There was a secret kind of power in the sinew of Loki's form; he didn't look like a threat in comparison to some of Clint's teammates, or even Loki's own brother, but there was no doubt that Loki could use his strength to put Clint into a few precarious positions.

"Barton?" Loki called, brow raised and an amused smirk on his face. "Coming?"

Eagerly, the archer nodded and stepped into the shower, swinging the glass door shut behind him. The water was hot- not just hot; it burned against Clint's skin. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like against his ass if he turned around. Loki was apparently in the same vein of thought because he gripped Clint's shoulder and forced him to turn. Clint yipped a cut-off sound when the steaming liquid splashed against the bruises Loki had left the night before. 

Loki's fingers slid around Clint's flushed cheek and coerced their way between his tightly-pressed lips. He yanked Clint's mouth open and pressed down on the back of his tongue, making the agent gag just a little bit. The god leaned in, his front- and pointedly hard erection- pressed to Clint's back. "If I wanted your sounds subdued, I would muzzle you. Your screams are the best part," he informed Clint, who shuddered at the information. 

"Yes, sir," he tried to answer around the intrusion. 

"Good," Loki praised, short and even. He retracted his fingers and stepped back again, letting the water assault Clint's skin once more. Clint didn't tamp down on his gasp this time, wincing through the pain. His breathing was coming in curt puffs as he steadied himself to keep from falling. He was so out of his element, so deep under the pleasure of having what he'd always wanted, that he was pretty far away when a stinging hand came down on his ass.

"Oh, fuck!" Clint yelped and an arm went out, searching for balance and finding none. He stumbled forward a step but then Loki's hand was on his shoulder, straightening him. 

"Hold still," Loki warned, and Clint could tell it was the only one he would get. The archer widened his stance, resisting the temptation to reach back and sooth the pain. The hand came down again, making a wet sound as water splashed into the air, and Clint's mouth fell open on a groan, fingers curling into fists at his side. 

Loki was a god. His strength was probably at a level Clint couldn't even dream of, so he could tell that the dark-haired man was holding back. "More, please," Clint murmured, head lilting low as he said it. Loki didn't waste a second. His hand came down a little harder the moment Clint finished speaking. It hurt, and it was good, but he needed more. "Harder," he whined.

In the next second, his chin was in a vise-like grip and his neck was wrenched back toward the god. Loki hissed in his ear, "Do not attempt to goad me, archer. You will not like what you receive." Clint doubted that very much, but Loki sounded like vengeance and he didn't want to test the theory. Maybe someday. "You will take what I give you and worship me for it," Loki continued.

"Yes, sir," Clint offered obediently. 

Loki released him and came around to look Clint in the eye. "You've lost the right to touch me until I say otherwise," he notified his lover. Clint opened his mouth to argue, but Loki's eyes glistened with a violent shade of green and he digressed. 

"Now. I will often enjoy washing you. I like to inspect my belongings to ensure quality if I'm to use them." Clint exhaled shakily. Loki ignored him. "Each morning I will decide your attire. I will decide what you should eat,  _if anything_ , depending on your behavior." 

Loki halted, narrowed his eyes in thought, then said, "I don't need to see your face to tell you this. On your knees."

Clint dropped like Loki had flicked a switch in him, and only after he was kneeling and looking up the god did he register the embarrassment. Loki stepped forward, hard cock sliding against Clint's cheek as he shifted their positions so the god was under the hot spray and water rained down in sludges over Clint's face and shoulders. He wrapped loose fingers around himself and leaned his hips in. Loki's wet, heavy sac bumped Clint's chin. "Here. Suck on them."

The archer bit down on his moan, but then remembered Loki's request and open his mouth to let his dominant partner hear the tail end of it. He tilted his head in, flicking his tongue out to swipe against one ball then the other. Loki hooked a finger inside Clint's bottom teeth and held his mouth open as he crammed, first one, then both of his balls into Clint's mouth. Clint's eyes went heavy, slipped shut like the weight on his tongue was directly attached to his psyche. 

"Better," Loki purred and rolled his hips, balls swiveling on Clint's tongue and his cock slipping over Clint's nose and eye as he grabbed the shampoo from the shelf on the wall. "As I was saying," he continued and lathered up his hair, "you will greet me on your knees when I return home to you, naked and prepped unless I instruct otherwise." He reached a soapy hand down stroked a gentle thumb, in direct opposition to how he grinded against Clint's mouth, across the archer's cheek, leaving a possessive trail of white bubbles like war paint.

Clint could barely keep his eyes open; he was sinking fast and Loki was right there with him, leading him the whole way down. Loki rinsed his hair before looking down at Clint with hunger in his eyes. "You have no say in how I use your body. You have no autonomy. In fact," Loki spat and gripped Clint's hair roughly in his hand, "there is no you. You are 'it'. My it. Understand?" 

That was a question, Clint realized. Loki had asked him a question.  _Fuck_. He tracked back through the last couple words Loki had said, trying to piece them together when he just wanted to come apart.  _My it. Understand?_  He wasn't his own anymore. He belonged to Loki. It felt obvious. He nodded fervidly and sucked harder on Loki's soft sac.

Loki only smiled, small and part mischief, as he praised, "Good boy," and continued to wash himself while Clint waited patiently on his knees, looking up to his god and his master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone alive? We all good? We're just getting started but I LOVE the dynamic here. See you next week! Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	19. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into how Loki and Clint's relationship is going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday. Here's a chapter of something super filthy (look at the update tags) and also somehow emotional. Idk. Enjoy xo

"Training" was no joke. Clint had trained for things pretty much his entire life. He trained for how to stay out of his dad's way as a kid; he trained for the circus as a teenager; he trained for some pretty dirty work as an adult, and then for SHIELD when they caught him. He's been through "training" before.

This.

This was not "training". This was something else.

Every move Clint made was evaluated, measured, and judged. Every word he said had to be carefully considered before he let it fall out for fear of reprimand or punishment. It scared him to admit how that got his blood pumping and his pulse racing. The thing was, he didn't know the rules of the game. He didn't know what was and wasn't allowed yet. And you'd think that with a man like Loki at the helm, one should consider pretty much everything not allowed.

Not the case. 

Loki preferred when Clint spoke; he liked holding conversation with him, but the wrong word and Clint was on his knees with Loki smothering him in the warm crevice of his groin until he was red in the face. It wasn't an altogether unpleasurable punishment, but it was a warning nonetheless and Clint never forgot his mistakes afterwards.

Loki loved to cook, which was great because Clint did  _not_. Some meals, he'd want Clint to sit on the counter and taste everything, giving his approval or corrections, until it was exactly to his liking while Loki stroked his hair and licked food off his fingers. Others, Clint would be pushed to his hands and knees while Loki used his back as a surface to hold kitchen utensils and dishware. Loki would ignore him completely, actually consider him an extra piece of furniture.

One night, Clint accidentally let a spoon fall off his back when Loki coincidentally brushed his fingers along Clint's neck as he whispered "good boy". Clint whimpered, knowing immediately that he'd fucked up, but Loki didn't say anything, didn't  _do_  anything. He picked up the spoon himself and dropped it in the kitchen sink to wash later. He finished cooking and set the table- just one place, Clint noticed when Loki tugged him over by his shirt collar- and sat down to eat with Clint waiting at his feet.

Only afterward did Clint finally get to be punished. " _Get to_ " because he'd spent the entire meal shaking in anticipation, and the not knowing was the worst. He knew Loki wouldn't just let it go, but nothing was happening. Fear snaked through his veins more and more as Loki ate. Once he'd cleared his plate, Loki stood from the table and looked down at his 'it'- a concept that Clint still had trouble comprehending- on his knees on the floor. 

Without a word, Loki bent down and set the empty plate, still holding a few streaks of dinner, on the floor in front of him. Clint knew what he wanted; his punishment would be to lick it clean. Embarrassing but not intolerable. He leaned forward to do just that, but Loki's fingers were in his hair in an instant, tugging him back. The promise of wrath blazed in the god's eyes, and Clint found himself lost in it, begging to understand what it meant.

"I'm sorry," he'd whispered, trying to lean into Loki's wrist, but the god released him and took a step back, leaving the archer to careen towards him. Clint whimpered; he never wanted Loki far away, he needed him right here, next to him. He needed to be forgiven.

Loki brought both hands to his pants and started working them open- that made Clint's eyes open comically wide. He was going to get his mouth on Loki. Maybe  _I'm sorry_  was good enough for now...maybe, because he was still new at this, Loki would be merciful. Clint was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He let his mouth go slack, swiping his tongue out across his bottom lip just so Loki would see how badly he wanted this. 

But then Loki wrapped a loose hand around his shaft just a couple inches under his glands, and with a crushing, malicious chuckle, aimed himself at the plate. The next second, Clint heard the delicate  _tink_  of liquid splashing against ceramic and his eyes snapped down. A stream of piss started to cascade from Loki's soft, pink cockhead straight onto the plate, splattering up where it hit and leaving droplets on Clint's knees, the floor, the dining chair, and table. 

The archer couldn't breathe, wouldn't have breathed to save his life. His eyes flicked from the plate to Loki's dick to Loki's eyes over and over in rapid succession until the stream ebbed and slowed to the last few drops, which Loki used to decorate Clint's chest as he gave his length a couple firm shakes. 

Clint huffed an unsteady breath of fire out through his nose at that. Loki had pointedly marked him with piss. He didn't have the brain function to even comprehend how he felt about it past the desperate desire to make things right with his god. 

"Drink it," Loki ordered, voice perfectly even. Clint had figured- he wasn't dumb- but hearing him say it was something else entirely. Despite his insane past, he'd never even  _accidentally_  tasted piss. He could only imagine what it would be like. 

Bitter. Foul. 

He took too long to obey. Loki cupped a hand to the back of his neck and shoved him, face down, into the small puddle of pale yellow liquid. Clint did what he could- squeezed his eyes shut, held his breath- until Loki wrenched him back up and he gasped for air. Piss dripped from his lashes and trickled onto his tongue with the force and he cringed. It tasted pretty much like he'd expect. Like piss.

"Drink it or I will drown you in it," Loki warned- his last one, Clint knew. He felt his will crumble inside his chest. Loki's voice soaked into his skin and weighed his body down, bending him. 

He bowed down at Loki's feet and settled his forearms on either side of the plate, taking one last swallow of courage before flicking his tongue out and swiping it across the dish. He shivered, horror and fear and even lust and relief coiling inside him. "There you are," the god cooed. "You'd begun to lose sight of your true purpose for a moment."

Loki dragged his chair to face Clint's flank and sat down, toeing off his shoes. "I think I did, as well. That will not be a mistake I make again, Barton, not now that I've seen how beautiful you look drinking up my release like a feral dog." 

The thing was, he didn't sound angry, but basal. Clint shuddered anyway; he nodded, tongue still hesitantly lapping at the plate. The taste wasn't getting any better, but Clint was fading, getting fuzzy around the edges. A sweet, soft pressure grazed Clint's zipper and he moaned, breath making tiny waves in the puddle. 

"The faster that you finish, the faster I will let you finish me," Loki informed him. The pressure increased and Clint could clearly feel the deft wiggle of Loki's foot tracing his hardening length. He had to drink it all anyway, he might as well get to the good part. 

Clint slurped harder, trying to focus more on the roll of lust in his gut at Loki's nonchalant touches than the bitter taste and pungent scent. It was like Loki didn't even notice he was getting Clint hard, like his foot just  _happened_  to be there and so did Clint's dick. He whined but kept drinking; he wanted to go back to sucking Loki off, living under a blanket of his cum, hearing Loki cry out his name. 

That was worth this.

When he'd finally,  _finally_  wiped the plate clean, and the floor and the chair and the table, he craned his neck and looked back at the dark-haired man. 

What a sight it was. Loki had one leg crossed over the other, foot disappearing under Clint's body where he was now straining his jeans; his hands were set calmly in his lap, but when Clint's eyes rose to his face, the deep flush of his lips- obviously bitten to soft redness- and the heady glaze over his eyes made the archer groan. 

"Sir?" Clint asked and then waited. 

Loki eyes seemed to focus on Clint's face after a few seconds, reluctantly dragging from the now clean plate. He stood gracefully and turned from his submissive, throwing a, "Follow," carelessly over his shoulder as he walked towards his bedroom. Clint didn't dare stand up, but he crawled as fast as he could after Loki, knees scraping harshly against wood and carpet through his jeans until he was sat next to the bed at Loki's feet.

The god reached down and cupped a hand under Clint's chin, leading him onto the bed by it and then flicking it free when Clint fell onto his back. Clint was vibrating; his body might just come apart if Loki didn't do something right that second. His lips were moving- he had so much to say- but none of it came out.

Loki hummed, seemingly enjoying what he saw, and crawled on the bed over Clint's body. He straddled the archer's thick shoulders and smirked down at him. "Exactly where you belong," he noted, almost dreamily. "At my feet, drinking my piss for your supper. Between my legs waiting to choke on my cock. You are truly where you are meant to be, my archer."

He was. Loki always put him exactly where he belonged. Clint's spine curved off the bed, agreeing with an airy, " _Yes_." 

His mouth was surprisingly dry, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth when he swallowed. He needed to be wet, slick with spit and Loki's cum. He dropped his jaw again, like he had earlier when he thought he'd get to have this. This time though, Loki just pulled his length out and gave Clint exactly what he wanted- what he  _needed_. 

He slid along the submissive's tongue until the broad head knocked against his throat. Clint didn't gag, but it was a close call. He forced himself to open up, to relax and let Loki into exactly where Clint had wanted him all night. Loki must've felt his passage ease open because he sighed and slipped deeper, murmuring, "Exquisite," as he raked one hand through Clint's hair. 

Clint's eyes fluttered shut. The whole world was falling in on itself, collapsing and leaving only them and this moment and he was fading away and then it was just Loki. His hands were clenching Loki's bedspread in his fists; he wanted to touch so badly but he wasn't willing to risk losing this. The god's hips rolled, curled forward and pushed his cock deeper. Clint took it with a grateful hum. 

"What would you do without me here to give you what you need?" Loki wondered, obviously not interested in Clint's answer. "Would you simply curl up and beg for me?" Loki's hands were cradling Clint's cheeks, holding him in place will he shoved harder down Clint's throat. "Would you shake and cry and plead for me?"

Clint felt traitorous tears welling up in his eyes. He wanted to nod. He would beg, plead for Loki if he had to. He would do whatever he had to for this. Loki must've understood him anyway because his lips pulled into a prideful smile. "You would, "he confirmed. "You would give me anything- everything." He pressed in to the hilt with a low groan before sighing and swiping a gentle thumb around Clint's stretched lips. "As would I, my archer."

Loki's voice was whisper-soft but sure in his words. He left no room for doubt, yet Clint doubted all the same. He knew this Loki would do anything for  _his_  Clint, but he was not that guy. He could pretend- would pretend- if that's what Loki wanted, but they both knew better. He would never have this Loki like his Clint does, and he would never have his Loki like he had this one. 

If he couldn't be that Clint, then he would be better. He would make Loki see his value and understand why he was worthy. Clint sucked hard, cheeks hollowed and tongue pressed flat against the hot underneath of Loki's cock.

The god gasped, hip jolting forward hard enough that Clint's lips felt bruised. "Yes, Barton," he moaned. "I swear it. I would give anything to have this. I have given my all for this."

Loki squeezed his thighs on either side of Clint's head, leaning down to block out any of the dim light in the room, and spanned the whole of both sides of Clint's face under his hands. Clint was wholly under him, succumbed to him. The dark-haired man clenched his eyes shut and shook his head in obvious pain. "I have given everything for this," he admitted lowly and like a natural end, he inched just a tiny bit deeper and filled Clint's mouth with bitter seed, surprising him in action as he swallowed what he could.

The sounds Loki held in were nothing compared to the ones that escaped. Clint heard praise and curses intermingling as Loki fell to one forearm while the other hand stayed clenched around Clint's cheek. His flat stomach took up Clint's entire field of vision and it was calming in its entirety. He breathed deep through his nose and waited as the god's length twitched through the pleasure of coming in a warm, welcome home. 

When Loki pulled out and rolled away, Clint brought a hand up to swipe the small bit of cum that had dripped from the corner of his lips and lick it away. He heaved in air, trying to even his breathing again and trying to get the whooshing sound in his head to dissipate. When it finally did, he realized that Loki was still facing away from him.

"Loki?" he asked and then brought a hand to his throat at the sound of his ruined voice. He couldn't help the tiny flicker of joy. "Was I okay?" he urged and reached a hand forward to lay on Loki's shoulder. 

The god flinched away, but then Clint heard a long inhale and a sigh and Loki turned over. His eyes were wet but the tears hadn't touched his cheeks yet. "You were perfect," Loki assured and pulled Clint closer to kiss his forehead. "Go brush your teeth and come lay with me." Clint knew better than to counter a direct order, especially one so simple, but he wanted to say no, to stay and take away Loki's tears.

"Yes, sir," he answered anyway and climbed from the bed to use the spare toothbrush Loki had furnished the bathroom with for Clint. He hadn't officially moved in or anything, but he had clothes here. Loki bought the shampoo he likes to use. It was as close to normal as they were ever going to get.

He brushed his teeth and went back to find Loki still in his disheveled clothes, staring at the ceiling. "Loki?" Clint called, garnering his attention in the form of a distracted  _hmm?_  Clint stripped off his clothes as he walked over to the bed and climbed on, laying his body against Loki's and kissing his cheek. "Can you tell me?"

Loki curled an arm around his waist and nuzzled his cheek. "I haven't felt him again since before we began our journey together weeks ago."

Clint knew who he meant, but still, he said, "Other Clint?" A tiny, humorless huff of a laugh rattled Loki's chest and he nodded. "I'm sorry I'm not him," Clint offered; he didn't have anything else to give.

Loki made a sound of disapproval and rolled onto his side to look Clint in the eye. "Don't. You are exactly who you are meant to be and I would have you no other way." 

It was kind but didn't solve their problems. "You wish you were with him," Clint accused.

The god winced, then flicked his eyes somewhere around Clint's chin to contemplate before nodding. "Of course, I do, but I want this with you as well. I-" He swallowed hard and tilted one corner of his lips up. "While I had him in your body, I admitted to him how badly you needed me and how badly I wished to help you." Clint felt his whole body go very still. "He made me promise to do everything I could to help you, and it was easier than it should have been to agree."

"I don't-" Clint shook his head. "Why?"

Loki's eyes went soft as they focused on Clint's again. "Whether you are the man I have known or not, you are mine. Just as my Clint would belong to your Loki in some way. Until you can have what you need, I will give you what I can."

"What do I need?" Clint asked, but Loki just sighed, heavy and knowing, and kissed Clint slow and deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think next week will be more logical and less emotional turmoil. We'll get to see if Clint can obey orders. Kinky ones of course. Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	20. XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all. Firstly, Happy Tuesday. Secondly, let me apologize for missing last week's posting. I am dead on my feet and writing volunteer smut is sort of low on the list despite how much I love it. School, work, resume builders, church all comes before this and I just couldn't do it all. 
> 
> I am going to finish this fic if it kills me but bear with me as I try my very best to keep to the schedule I've set. I'll let you know if i need to change things. 
> 
> Little warning: this is completely unbeta'd because I thought you guys would want something at least. I will try to go in tomorrow and edit it proper, but until then, enjoy xo.
> 
> Update: slightly beta'd; continue to ingest at your own peril.

"Put these on," Loki instructed and tossed a pair of boxer briefs at Clint who was sitting naked at the end of his bed back at his floor for the first time in nearly two weeks. He'd learned a lot since he'd agreed to let Loki " _train him"_ a month ago. He'd spent more time on his knees than on his feet; he'd started to adjust his eating schedule, sleeping schedule around Loki's wants and whims. The need to please him hadn't diminished like he expected; instead, he wanted more than ever to be  _good_  for his dom- his Master.

His slid into the fabric and situated the waistband across his hips, flicking his eyes up to Loki through his lashes and looking for approval. Loki's gaze roved from his face, down his body to Clint's lap. "Perfect." Then, he snapped his fingers and it was an automatic reflex when Clint fell to the floor and crawled to Loki's feet before sitting back on his heels and placing his hands in his lap. The god reached a hand out and stroked Clint's cheek. 

Loki's thumb trailed from the high point of his cheek to the corner of his mouth. "Such a lovely face," he noted and Clint flushed with pride. The god's hand shifted to clench his submissive's chin tight in his grip. "I will enjoy ruining it."

"Please," Clint murmured instantly. 

The dark-haired man grinned, mischief and lust alight in his eyes. "Today, you will focus of attending to my will, whatever that may be." Loki raked his hand through Clint's hair before grabbing a handful and pressing the archer's face to his clothed lap. "You're only objective today is to please me when and how I see fit."

Clint moaned softly, nodding the little bit that he could in Loki's hold. He'd been waiting for this. He wanted to learn what Loki wanted, what he  _liked_ , how to please him so that he could do it without being asked. Until then, Loki had spent most of his time introducing Clint to new ideas and techniques and the in's and out's of what it meant to let Loki have him. But now- Clint wanted to learn more about  _Loki_.

Loki released him and stepped around the archer, heading out into Clint's living area. With a snap of his fingers, Clint was following on his hands and knees. When Clint made it out there, Loki was leaning against the kitchen island with his arms crossed, waiting. Clint crawled to Loki's feet and saddled up as close as he could, knees intertwined with his feet. He looked up to the man, questioning, wondering.

"Proceed as normal, dove," Loki urged and Clint nodded, kissed Loki's knee, and rose to his feet. "I'll tell you what I want," the god instructed as he gave Clint's ass a lazy slap on his way by, "and when I want it."

Clint bit down on his smile, trying to keep his mind focused. Loki gave him a task and he would do it. First, breakfast. He wasn't a cook but for Loki, he was learning to get by. The bacon was nearly ready when Clint felt hands on his hips. He looked over his shoulder but Loki only nodded at the skillet so Clint turned back around. 

He tried to stay focused- he did- but Loki's hands were wandering, skimming the waistband of his underwear and tucking underneath the fabric. When one of them flittered over his soft cock, Clint inhales sharply and gripped the handle of the pan tightly in a weak attempt at balance. "Sir," he hissed, pleading for something he didn't quite understand.

"Keep going," Loki warned. "I find it pleasurable to touch you, but I also expect to be fed a hearty meal. Understand?" He did understand. Clint was somehow meant to stay on task while Loki played with him. He steeled himself for the challenge and nodded. Loki hummed against his neck. "Very good, pet."

Those little nicknames always got to him and Loki knew it. He hated them as much as he loved them. They made his blood boil and rush south in tandem, leaving his brain confused and hungry for the god. Loki's current favorite was  _my_   _dove_  or some form of it. Clint suspected it was as close to the nickname he had for his own Clint back home as he dared to get considering the archer truly hated when Loki tried that one on him.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and lifted the bacon out of the pan with the spatula to set them on the plate he'd prepared. Loki was lazily stroking two fingers over the limp, warm line of him like he was fingering a guitar, brushing in a steady rhythm that made Clint sway backward into his chest. Loki hummed contentedly and kissed up the line of Clint's neck. "Look at you providing for your Master," he teased. Clint felt heat rise across his cheeks and he swore internally.

He never used to blush; he'd never hear the end of it if Natasha ever saw him like this. If any of them ever saw him like this...The archer tried to hide the chill that ran over him at the thought, but Loki was nothing if not observant and bit down lightly on Clint's earlobe.

"Tell me," he ordered, tender but no less forceful. This was something that they had been working on. Clint wouldn't exactly describe himself as an open book, and Loki wanted to know Clint in a way that no one ever had. 

"I was just-" He cut off, unsure how to say what he was feeling without offending the man that he'd come to depend on so heavily. 

Loki offered, "How about this? Tell me what's bothering you and I'll reward you," with a pointed squeeze to the base of Clint's dick. "Trust me, keeping in mind my plans for the rest of our day, you will want this reward."

Clint's breath left in a shudder. He nodded. "I just thought about what would happen if the others saw me right now. I mean- In the cell I was..." Clint winced as he remembered how he'd nearly melted into Loki's lap in front of Steve and Natasha, but then said, "But that's nothing compared to now. I'm- fuck, Loki. I'm  _yours_ ," he urged and left his head fall back on Loki's shoulder.

The god buried his face in the curve of Clint's neck and groaned, giving the submissive a stroke. "I'm impressed that you've come to terms with who you are so quick," he praised. "You are mine and I would never allow my 'it' to be ashamed of being owned. If your team were to visit, I would proudly display you as my own."

Loki brought his hand out of Clint's underwear and up to the archer's face. Clint responded as he'd been taught, licking Loki's palm and fingers as Loki murmured, "I'd like three eggs, dove." Clint nodded and steeled himself against what he knew was coming as he grabbed the cartoon on the counter beside him. 

Loki's hand slipped back inside Clint's waistband, and even though he'd prepared for it, Clint still cracked the egg a little too forcefully when a warm, wet hand wrapped around him again. "Thank you, sir," he huffed, trying to remember all that Loki had instilled in him so far. Loki stroked him with an infuriating sluggishness that kept Clint stuck somewhere between pent up and needy.   

He didn't realize he'd stopped stirring the eggs until Loki's hand paused and he bit harshly on Clint's neck. "If my eggs are scorched, your ass will follow suit."

Clint whimpered and took up his stirring with vigor. "I'm sorry, sir." He dumped the eggs on the plate with the bacon, thankful when his hands were free to clench onto the edge of the counter. His legs were beginning to shake with desire and he didn't know how long he'd be able to hold himself up without the support. 

"Toast as well," Loki reminded and Clint nodded jerkily before going over to the toaster. The god's hand slipped from around him, making Clint loose an aborted whine as he grabbed the bread from the breadbox. "Don't whine. It's unbecoming of my property."

Clint felt humiliation wash over him and the weight of it lowered his head. "Yes, sir," he breathed, barely audible. 

"Excuse me?" Loki prompted.

He lifted his head again and said more surely, "Yes, sir."

Then Loki was against him again, front pressed tightly to his back. "Much better," he cooed and flipped Clint's around to face him. "Don't burn my toast, Barton," he warned before dropping to his knees and tugging Clint's briefs down as he went. Clint choked on his next inhale, bread nearly falling out of his hand to the floor. 

He didn't have the chance to get his barrings back because then Loki's perfect, velvet mouth was swallowing him down. "Shit, Loki," Clint hissed, stumbling where he stood with the force of his pleasure. 

Loki didn't answer him particularly; instead, he snapped his fingers and pointed to the toaster. Clint nodded but he wasn't sure he could even get the bread into the toaster slots to save his life. Loki hollowed his cheeks and Clint groaned, eyes falling shut as he blindly shoved the bread at the device. Loki slid a slothful hand down to Clint's leg before abruptly pinching the sensitive skin on his inner thigh.

Clint was still always dumbfounded by the amount of pleasure that came with the pain. His hips lurched forward without conscious decision but Clint knew what that pinch meant. If he didn't get his act together and make Loki's fucking toast, he'd be punished. He peeled his eyes open to glance over at the toaster just long enough to slip the bread haphazardly into the slots. 

Loki pressed his tongue into Clint's leaking slit and the archer wildly flung his hand at the lever until it clicked into place and the toaster began to heat up. "Oh, thank God," he gasped as his hand scrabbled at the counter for stability and his head fell back in bliss. "Thank you, Loki. Thank you." Loki only hummed in answer, sending shocks of pleasure up Clint's spine. 

Before he was ready, the toast had popped and Clint's mouth was falling open and he was shooting into Loki's plush mouth. There was just something about coming by Loki's hand. The intensity with which Clint hated Loki was matched by how good it felt to be released at Loki's command- something like hate sex but better. Because this wasn't  _that_  Loki, and Clint had accepted that weeks ago. Now, it was more like sweet revenge on his old self and on all the hatred he harbored that he so easily let go now.

Loki rose to his feet with a grace that Clint could only dream of and shoved his tongue between the archer's slack lips, sliding their tongues together and feeding a few drops of Clint's own cum to him. Clint moaned weakly into the kiss, hands coming up to grasp onto Loki but pausing mid-movement. 

When the god pulled away and saw his hands, frozen in midair, he huffed a laugh, something like pride in his languid smile. "You may," he allowed and Clint's hands found skin in an instant. He smoothed both across Loki's bare chest, letting a thumb wander over a nipple or trace the vein in an arm. Clint fell lulled by his own ministrations until his eyes drooped and he was leaning into Loki without meaning to.

"Come now, pet," Loki tisked. "I still haven't eaten."

Clint pulled himself out of his haze, remembering his original task, and nodded. He turned and grabbed the plate of food and a fork, holding them out to his dominant. Loki raised a brow and glanced at the toaster. Clint's eyes went wide for a second before he set the plate down in favor of grabbing the toast and buttering it quickly. When he'd come back with a finished plate, Loki only turned and walked away, snapping his fingering as an afterthought when Clint hesitated to follow.

The incident with the piss and plate wasn't long ago enough to be a distant memory in Clint's head, and whenever he passed by the kitchen island seat where Loki had sat and watched him bury his face in the god's urine, he shivered. Luckily, they walked passed it and to the dining room table. Loki slunk into a chair and Clint set the plate and fork down, folding his hands behind his back dutifully afterward. The god looked up at Clint then flicked his eyes down the floor beside the table.

He dropped like a bag of bricks to his knees, scooting close just to feel the warmth that Loki's body seemed to hold in only a shallow sense. While the dark-haired man ate, Clint just looked. Loki was disturbingly beautiful. Eyes that shone with unearthly depth. Smooth, porcelain skin unmarred by countless battles. Lashes that swept across the air when he blinked. Sharp white teeth that Clint begged to feel the edge of.

"Are you hungry?" Loki asked, seeming to be unaware of Clint's staring. More likely, he was willfully ignoring it. Clint wasn't sure the right answer, so he went with the truth- something Loki told him to always default to.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Come eat your breakfast."

The words didn't come with any physical clue as to instruction and 'breakfast' has meant everything from actual food to cum since they'd started this, so Clint wasn't totally sure where he stood. Before he could really get worked up though, Loki reached under the table and pulled his loose sleep pants down his hips enough to let his mostly soft dick roll out.

Clint sighed in relief. This he knew. This he could do. This he loved.

He crawled under the table to sit between Loki's legs and waited as Loki curled lazy fingers around his base and aimed himself towards Clint's mouth. The archer let his lips part on a sigh and leaned in until Loki's tip tickled the supple point of his tongue. They both let out a gentle sound and Loki fed Clint more of him. 

Just when he'd gotten settled, Loki pulled out and instead pushed a cold piece of scrambled egg between his lips. "Eat," he demanded casually and Clint obeyed. So breakfast would be actual food  _and_ cum today. Perfect, Clint thought with a faraway smile. 

This- all of this- felt normal now. It instead felt odd to walk around all day; he felt off-kilter when he hadn't had Loki in his mouth for multiple hours. Which, he'd noticed, was there main activity. Not that Clint was complaining, but Loki had yet to take there training past the point of oral. 

He loved what they had. He was spanked, manhandled, demeaned, but not fucked- not really. He didn't know why Loki hesitated. It was obvious that Clint wanted to, he'd begged for it at some point, he was sure. There had to be a plan or a reason-  _something-_ because Clint was ready and he might just lose his mind before Loki decided he'd earned it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow just living in their made-up world is so soothing to me. I think we'll ratchet things up next week. I can't decide how though. Let me know what y'all think or would like to see. Besides Loki fucking the living daylights out of Clint because same honey, I got you. It'll happen.
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	21. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint tests Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday, my loves. Here is the chapter un-beta'd but on time...ish. I'm doing my best to keep up because I love this story and I want you all to get to read it.
> 
> update: new and improved...slightly beta'd.
> 
> Just a head's up though, I am going on vacay this next week so I will not be posting next Tuesday. Take a little breather. Read some other great Frosthawk stuff. Maybe read something outside the fanfic world. You know, go crazy lol. And then I'll be back in two weeks. See you then. Enjoy, xo

Clint wanted to retain just a tiny bit of that indignation that Loki hadn't fucked him yet but Loki had pulled him down on his cock far enough to choke him and long enough to leave him light-headed when the god shot deep into his mouth. He was spacey and smiling and kissing the velvety length of Loki's shaft as he softened in his hand. It was hard to be mad when everything was so good.

Loki reached a hand under the table and fed Clint another piece of bacon, turning breakfast into an obscene reward system for sucking him off. Not that Clint minded all that much. "Very good, baby," Loki praised and Clint could've come just from the sound of his voice, low and rough and satisfied. The god's hand wandered into Clint's hair and he keened at the touch. "It's so important to keep by belongings fed."

Clint sighed. "Yes, sir." When Loki's hand reached down again, Clint expected more food, but he was caught off guard when Loki pushed his face away.

"Enough. Come up here so I can look at you," the god ordered flippantly. Clint scrambled up, led mostly by desire because his mind was still tied to the stretch of Loki in his mouth. In his haste, his head just barely knocked the underside of the table, but he couldn't care. He stood with his hands folded dutifully behind him, rocking on his heels in anticipation of Loki's next demand.

"Stop fidgeting." A demand for sure, but Clint wasn't expecting it to be so  _hard._  Why couldn't Loki choose something easy? Clint stiffened, begging his body not to react to Loki's dilatory hand as it wandered off the table and to his still-exposed dick. Clint leaned imperceptibly to see better as Loki tucked himself back into his loose sleep pants. "Clean up my plate," Loki directed as he rose, barely glancing at Clint.

The god knew what he was doing to Clint, and the archer was eating it up. He wanted Loki's attention and it killed him that the dark-haired man wouldn't give him the time of day after laving so much attention on him earlier. The back and forth left him off balance and teetering further into Loki's orbit by the moment. 

"Yes, sir," he acquiesced and picked up the dirty dishes. Loki strolled into Clint's living room and sank into the couch gracefully. Clint hastily rinsed the dishes and stuck them into the dishwasher before rushing back to Loki's presence; he didn't want to miss anything. He swallowed, unsure what to do.

But Loki always saved him. He snapped his fingers and pointed between his languidly spread knees. Clint should've known. He should just assume his position is on his knees by default. He dropped to the floor and looked up at Loki's pristine face. The god had picked up the book he was reading last night while Clint had watched trash TV. He was opening the literature to his saved placed, completely ignoring Clint.

The archer huffed, quiet but not silent, and Loki peaked over the book enough to raise a brow in warning. Clint nodded in understanding and settled in to wait. He would wait on Loki forever but with each page that flitted through the air, Clint got more distracted. Loki was close enough to be able to smell the slight tinge of sex on him.

Clint swayed closer without realizing. Loki kept reading but settled deeper into the couch, shifting his hips forward and letting his knees fall wider. Clint bit down on a needy whine and reached his chin out to bring himself just that tiny bit closer. Loki was never overly warm, but the heat Clint felt in his gut was plenty to make the space between them heated. 

He wanted. 

He wanted so much more.

Why wouldn't Loki just take him? Clint knew he wanted to. He could tell in the way Loki gripped at his hips, his ass, the way he grinded against him when Loki trapped him between his lithe body and any flat surface.

He couldn't help it. Clint leaned in just enough to brush the stubble on his cheek against Loki's inner thigh, electricity lighting up the air. Clint inhaled sharply and Loki's hand wandered down to Clint's hair.

He knew what was coming; he'd hadn't received the permission to touch yet and that meant either a brush off, or worse, punishment. But then Loki's hand came to the back of Clint's head and led him in, closer and down into Loki's crotch until Clint's face was buried in his lap. 

The archer sighed in sweet relief. This was all he wanted. The pace at which everything else in his life had fallen second to Loki should be frightening, would have been if he cared. It was dangerous and beautiful and sweet and Clint was drunk on it.

They were right there, at this precipice. Clint was more than ready to jump- he'd always been the one to jump without pause- but there was a barrier, something that kept Loki just a hand's reach away. 

He wanted more. 

Clint tilted his head until his mouth was lined up with the soft line of Loki in his pants. When his lips parted and his tongue flicked over the soft cotton, Loki moved his book to the side so he could look down at Clint. The archer flicked his eyes up to find Loki's eyes blown and dark. Clint smiled, pleased, and closed his mouth around the girth of the god. He ignored the taste of cotton and the damp texture of the fabric as his saliva soaked in, instead savoring the weight of him and the intensity of Loki's gaze.

"So eager," Loki murmured, fingerings wandered underneath Clint's chin and leading his head up, away from his contained length, to place a sure kiss on his lips. "I adore that about you."

Clint hummed in gratitude, kissing him again. "I can do so much more," the archer assured. His hands moved to support himself on the couch cushions on either side of Loki's legs so he could push in closer and lick across the sharp wing of Loki's collarbone. "I can show you how eager I am."

Loki laughed, a demure, elusive thing. "I believe you; you need not convince me."

Clint groaned, put out. "I want to," he whispered just under Loki's ear before taking the flesh between his teeth.

The god's jovial mood turned serious in a heartbeat and Loki's hand clamped down on Clint's shoulder. "Behave," he warned, but Clint wasn't having it. He was tired of waiting. The archer laved his tongue over the soft curve behind Loki's ear, sucking his mark into the skin. 

"I don't think I will," Clint quipped, finally feeling a twinge of that old fire he didn't realize he'd missed. 

Loki's hand gripped tighter, a physical warning to reinforce the verbal one, but Clint was past listening. He slid his hands onto Loki's thighs and squeezed just to finally feel the sinew shift under his touch. He needed to touch; he loved this part of romance, of sex, and he was fed up enough to take it himself instead of waiting for Loki to graciously hand it out.

Just as Clint's hands reached the bundled up fabric at the fold of Loki's hip, a hand clenched around his wrist in a vice. Loki's normally cool voice came out in a growl. "Do not disobey me, archer."

Clint, always one to buck the system, slid his free hand up to the side of Loki's neck and traced just a single finger down the thick vein there, sighing, "What are you going to do about it?" 

Clint liked to think he had pretty fast reflexes. In sparring sessions with Natasha or Steve, he always held his own. His precision was dead on and that came from a keen sense of bodily awareness. 

He didn't see Loki coming.

A milky white hand slithered just under his chin, at the top of his throat, and squeezed just enough to get a grip but not tight enough to choke, and then Clint was being lifted to his feet as Loki stood with him. "You are testing me," Loki hissed. "I didn't want to punish you today."

Clint gritted his teeth, biting back, "Then don't. Give me what I want."

Loki scoffed, dropping the hand under his chin and turning away. "You don't know what you ask."

The dominant's dismissal more than anything was what set Clint off. A 'no' he could've lived with; Loki was the boss, after all, but just a brush of the god's regal hand to wave away Clint's need...He couldn't stand it.

Clint grabbed Loki's wrist mid-air, making the god spin on his heels in shock. He spoke over Loki's obviously-coming rebuttal. "I'm not a child. I know what I'm asking, and I know what I want. Now, are you going to be man enough to give it to me, or should I go back to the two women who seemed to be able to do it just fine?"

They hadn't really talked about the other domme and the sub that Clint had slept with just before they started this, mostly because anytime it happened to come up, Loki's mood turned foul. In that moment, though, Clint wielded it to cut right to the heart of his grudge. 

Loki was seething, just barely holding on to his will but Clint could see how badly he wanted to  _take_. He just needed a tiny push. He just needed-

Clint inhaled sharply, his head pulling in two inside itself. He hissed in pain and pressed the round butt of his palm to his temple. It was almost a familiar feeling now, and he knew what was happening. He opened his eyes and felt relieved that he was still in his own apartment and Loki was still in front of him, though no longer fuming but reaching out in worry. 

Clint shook his head and held a hand out to Loki, warning him not to touch. Everything was sensitive and he knew it would hurt as much as it soothed. He closed his eyes to block out the now too bright light and whispered inwardly,  _Clint?_

_Oh, good. I thought I was having a stroke._

Clint laughed.  _No, you're not dying, you're just fucking crazy,_ he passed back.

_Tell me something I don't know,_  his double teased. Clint could acutely feel him sigh.  _You called me, I think. What's up?_

He'd called the other Clint? He didn't know he could do that.  _Well..._

When he didn't elaborate, the other Clint pressed,  _Well what? Something Loki did, obviously. He'll apologize eventually. He always does- or well, he'll eat you out until you pass out and that's about as close to an apology as you'll get._

Clint choked on his shock, barely tamping down a sharp bark of laughter.  _I'm not going to tell him you told me that for both our sakes. Plus, it's not something he's_ _done_ _,_ the archer complained.

_Something he hasn't done then,_ Clint assumed from a universe away. His own defeated sigh said it all. His double laughed again, like it should be totally agreeable to be sexually frustrated.  _He's holding back with you, isn't he?_

_Yes!_  Clint shouted in his head before he could dampen his relief.  _I want him to-_ He shook his head.  _I don't really think I should be talking to you about what I want your boyfriend to do to me..._

The other Clint smirked and Clint felt it across the divide.  _If I didn't want him to do all of those things to you, he wouldn't be there right now. Loki can nearly take over an entire planet in a few days, but he can't get himself home in over a month? And he's not sticking around for the sightseeing._

It hadn't really occurred to Clint that Loki hadn't been trying all that hard to go home. He'd been too focused on Loki's mouth and hands and words.  _So, how do I get him to-fuck, you know- to fuck me?_ He felt ridiculous but he didn't think his phrasing was going to make this any less awkward.

_He likes a challenge,_  the other Clint informed him.  _He's a big, terrible god with all these powers and his mind moves like a million miles a minute. He's always going to want a bit of give and take._

_What does that mean? I don't want to make him mad; I just want him to fuck me._

_Make him mad and he_ will _fuck you._

_I can't-_

_Make him mad. And he will fuck you_ _,_ the other Clint insisted.

_Okay, okay. Got it._

_...And unless you want me around for that, you should probably let me go._

Clint shrugged, knew the other Clint would feel it.  _I don't know how._

_Same way you found me I guess..._

_Right...same way...I found you._ He focused on the pulling in his mind, trying to bring it back to one whole place. It struggled against him but he could feel how good it felt to be whole again and soon his mind gave in and the other Clint's breathing faded away. The archer opened his eyes to find Loki not two inches from him, hands poised to catch him if he fell and a crease between his brows.

"Are you well?" Loki questioned.

Clint took account of himself. Yeah, he felt fine. Good actually. At least now he had direction. He set his shoulders and quirked a brow at the go. "Well enough for you to fuck me," he spat. "Your Clint seems to think your capable but I'm not so sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you know what's coming in two weeks. I can't waaaait! Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	22. XXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint proves he's worthy of having what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my doves! Happy #BAPTuesday. How is your week going so far? Here's this week's chapter, and also just a bit of a ***GRAPHIC VIOLENCE*** warning for this one. Once again, sorely unbeta'd but hey, I did it...I gotta get me a beta or like teach Alexa to do it. Anyway, enjoy xo
> 
> Also! A co-editor and I are starting up a digital platform for all young creatives to showcase their work! We do not shy away from any style, topic, or genre. Whether it's fiction, non-fiction, current events, poetry, photography, art- BRING IT ON! 
> 
> If you'd like to submit something you've done, here's the info:

"Tread carefully, hawk," Loki warned, voice hard as steel. 

Clint felt it like the brush of a ex-lover's hand, intimate and invasive. He shivered and wanted more than anything to bend to him, but he was tired of losing out on what he needed. If Loki wanted to control him, he'd have to give in to him just as deeply. 

"Are you afraid you won't be able to satisfy me?" Clint goaded and saw the corner of Loki's mouth twitch up in a smirk. 

Confident.

Knowing.

Clint swallowed hard. 

Loki took a step closer, almost in Clint's space, and wet his lips. "You are begging to be disciplined, my dove."

"I've been begging for weeks actually, but you can't seem to get it up for me."

The god only smiled wider, which had the opposite effect of making Clint momentarily fear for his well-being. "You are not listening, little bird." Loki's voice cut sharp through the air, and along with the dreaded nickname, Clint felt his hackles rise.

"Fuck you!" he spat.

Loki's hand rose to Clint's neck as he crowded in close but the god still didn't touch him. "Test me," he pressed. "I implore you. See what will happen."

Clint was shaking, he could feel the jittering under his skin, but he'd come too far to back down now. He leaned into Loki's hand, letting the god clench around his throat. "Promises," Clint scoffed, nearly a whisper.

In a breath, Loki had Clint pressed to the wall of the living room using just the imposing weight of possibility that he might touch Clint how he wanted. 

Because they weren't actually touching. 

Loki was just far enough away from Clint to feel the air move between them, but close enough to feel Loki's warm breath on his cheek. Loki's hands were on either side of Clint's head, leaving tiny crevices in the wall in his passion. They were two impossible, opposing forces that were pressed together and fighting for the win. 

Clint broke first- he knew he would. He shot forward and crashed their mouths together, biting down on Loki's lip until he tasted the faint metallic tinge of blood. He kept his hand firmly planted against the wall, caught between too scared and too stubborn to touch him. The heat coming off of Loki's body was enough to encourage Clint to lick across Loki's teeth.

The audacity the submissive had to try and invade Loki's mouth must have been the god's final straw. He rocked his entire body against Clint, hips grinding together until Clint's mouth fell slack and Loki could slip his tongue between the archer's wet lips.  _Yes, yes! Finally..._

"Please," Clint pleaded, voice breaking over the single word. 

Loki bit sharply at Clint's jaw in return before sliding his mouth up next to Clint's ear and whispering, "You shall have everything you want, my dove- how can I refuse you- but don't forget that I cautioned you."

The whimper Clint loosed should've been embarrassing but he didn't have the brain function to worry about it. At least not when Loki was grabbing at him like he wanted to tear into Clint- and he let him. The archer dropped his head back to give Loki access as he bit along the column of his throat and smoothed his hands under Clint's briefs, sliding them off his hips. 

Clint had been naked in front of Loki before, but this was different. He could taste it in the air. This was it. He was finally going to have what he wanted.

Loki let Clint's underwear fall to the floor and replaced his hands on Clint's ass, squeezing as he growled into a filthy kiss. "You are petulant," the god spat.

It was a reprimand as much as it was admiration, and Clint took it as such. He smiled against Loki's much, huffed out a  _thank you_  and nibbled on Loki's lip. The dark-haired man growl, grabbing Clint harder and pulling him in. The tiny pinpricks of pain from Loki's nails digging into Clint's skin only added to the building anticipation of what the god would bring.

He almost couldn't stand it.

"Loki," Clint- well, he fucking whined it was he did, but he'll never admit it outside of that moment. " _Please._ " 

Loki chuckled and splayed a hand down the side of Clint's jaw lifting it so Clint has to glance down the plane nose at the lithe man. "When you beg for me, it only serves to engorge my desire to push you beyond what you believe you can take."

Clint swallowed hard. Damn it, if that didn't sound like a threat and a promise. "Yes," he gasped. "I can take it," he urged. He could. He was ready.  

Loki leaned in so his lips and Clint's were only separated by the width of Loki's thumb that swiped across the seam of the archer's mouth. "I know you can, my hawk, and that is why you shall have it."

Clint could have collapsed with relief. "Thank you," he breathed, and he could hear the blatant emotion in the two words. He was breaking, melting, crumbling and Loki hadn't even begun. Clint let his eyes fall shut against the push of tears, inhaling shakily and kissing the pad of Loki's thumb. In the next moment, Loki's hands were gone all with the warmth of him and when Clint opened his eyes the god was walking away. Clint stuttered, "Wh-what..."

"Come," Loki ordered and this time Clint truly didn't have a choice, swirls of magic caressed his skin and nudged him to follow after the dominant man. Loki didn't have to cheat; he would've gone willingly. Still, it let Clint focus on the sway of Loki's hips and the shift of the muscles in his back instead of where he was going or making his feet work. 

They went to the middle of the living room and Loki flick his hand, causing the coffee table to move to the very edge of the room against the wall. Moving furniture. Always something to be nervous of- especially with sex, especially with Loki,  _especially_ with sex with Loki.

When Clint was in the dead center of the room, Loki turned back to him and gave him a once over, head to toe with the pace of a sun-bathing animal on an August afternoon. Every flaw, every nuance in Clint's body felt lit up with neon, but the hunger in Loki's gaze only grew and that sent shockwaves of arousal down Clint's spine and straight to his slit where a drop of precome caught Loki's eyes, making him smirk.

"Arms up," he ordered, flippant and easy, and Clint's arms shot into the air without his say-so. Then, the sharp grating edge of rope chafed against his sensitive wrist until it left him tied and taunt from tip to toe. Clint looked up to see the rope attached to seemingly nothing, floating in the air and stretching him out. 

"Spread your legs," came next and Clint knew just as it happened that Loki wasn't even speaking to him directly, he was telling his magic how to behave. Clint wasn't even in charge of his own body anymore. He feet dragged across the carpet until just his tiptoes were balancing on the floor and the cool air of his apartment woosh between his legs.

Rope slithered around his skin, locking his ankles into place as well and pulling his entire body to what he swore was his limit. He could feel his joints protesting from the strain, and he consciously tried to relax them. 

Loki stepped forward, into Clint's space, making the archer's breath halt in anticipation. The god dipped his head forward and licked across Clint's collarbone, from the sharp jut to his smooth, strong shoulder. "Hmm," Loki sighed, "delightful...but I taste no fear."

Clint was trained to stay calm under pressure, to keep his head in any situation, but  _fuck_  if that didn't send shivers straight to his core. Loki leaned in and licked along the other collarbone, slower and with purpose, smacking his lips garishly and adding, "Much better."

Loki's finger walked a teasing path down the centerline of Clint's chest as the god continued. "You wish me to fuck you, Barton." It wasn't a question- they both knew the answer- but Clint nodded anyway. "You are willing to open yourself to me, take me within you, and carry my seed inside your body as a sign of my approval."

"Fuck yes," Clint huffed, making Loki's eyes crinkle with delight.

"What if I told you I would only give myself to you if you proved your fidelity?"

Clint nodded harder. "Yes, anything."

The god raised a hand to Clint's eye level so he could see when a thin, black switch appeared in Loki's hand. It was deceivingly light but Clint knew better than to underestimate this man. Whatever it was Loki had planned, it would hurt. Utterly and completely. 

He walked around behind Clint just slow enough to make him impatient. The waiting was the worst part. Clint wriggled in his binds, trying to tempt Loki into doing...whatever it was he was going to-

Clint's scream ripped through the silent apartment. A searing strip of white pain prickled across his back. Loki kissed the raised lash, murmuring, "Don't perceive to have any control over this situation." Abashed, Clint nodded, trying to ignore how the pain made his cock leak.

A whoosh of air and another agonizing tear to his skin. The archer didn't scream that time, but it wasn't for lack of pain. All of the breath in his lungs was swallowed by the sheer shock of the switch against his back. 

Loki took pleasure in each thrash, Clint could tell by the sound of his breathing as it heavied and punctuated his hits. Occasionally, the god would saddle up to Clint's ass, now red and swollen and sore, and slide his still clothed hard-on against the seam of his cheeks. He whispered deviant pleasure in Clint's ears that would have sent any sane person running but instead made Clint whimper and moan for him.

Years went by until Clint was sobbing and arching and begging Loki, for more and enough. Loki walked around to his front and Clint finally got a good look at him. He was wild.

His eyes were alight with lust and greed; his lips were swollen; his face was sheening with perspiration and rouge. He looked taken by what he'd done and Clint couldn't help a delirious smile.

Loki's fingers had made their way to the coarse patch of hair surrounding Clint's cock and they twisted and tugged on the short curls, making Clint's wince and gasp. He tugged again, much firmer, and fresh tears of pain gathered in Clint's waterline. The god tilted his head up and licked up the salty track. "You would cry for me?" he whispered against Clint's cheek. 

Clint stuttered a breath and at Loki's raised brow, he nodded. "Yes."

Loki's arm curled around to his back and dug into one of the open wounds he'd left. Clint gasped in pain. "You would bleed for me?"

"Yes, sir," Clint answered without hesitation this time, letting the rush make his head heavy and light.

Loki raised his hand to his mouth, licking his finger clean of blood just before he brought it down in a caustic slap to Clint's purpling shaft, making the archer scream to the ceiling. The god smiled, pleased. "You would scream for me?"

Clint was panting now, breath leaving faster than it came, but he nodded shakily and said, "Y-yes, sir. I will."

The dominant pressed in close and Clint took solace in the hard line of Loki's erection against his hip through his soft cotton pants. Loki felt good- all that matter was that Loki felt good. "But, my dove," Loki whispered and curled gentle fingers around Clint's swollen length, "will you live for me?"

Loki tightened his grip and stroked Clint in languid, even movements. Clint's mouth fell open on a groan and it took him longer than he would like to admit to gather a coherent thought together. When he did, he surged forward every last millimeter so he could be as close to Loki as he could, to look him in the eye, when he told him with flushed cheeks and glazed eyes, "Yes, my god. I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit shorter than some of my others, but sometimes you just have to do what the story tells you and I had to end this chapter here. Next week, I swear they will actually fuck. I want it as bad as you do. Until then, much love. Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


	23. XXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, lords and ladies. The time is now. Let's do this: Frosthawk smutty smut. Enjoy xo

Clint's mind was in the sky by the time the lashes climbed into double digits. The best he could do was groan at the razor-sharp prickle of pain that swiped across his back with each hit; other than that, he left his head slump between his shoulders and his eyes slip closed. He'd never felt like this before. He didn't know he could.

He's been tortured before- gagged and punched and even sliced open with a knife- but this...this was something else. He'd asked for it, begged for it, and now Loki was lording over him while Clint hung tautly from the ceiling by ropes Loki  _created with his mind_. He felt his body list internally but he was held so tight it didn't actually sway. It was just his mind, rocking on the sea like a boat adrift in the night.

He smiled at the visual. Loki propped his chin up with the thin butt of the switch and assessed him while Clint tried his very best to peel his eyes open enough to see the god's pristine face as he came to a conclusion. Loki pursed his lips in thought as his eyes ran from Clint's sweaty hairline, down his flushed pink chest to his shaking thighs. 

Loki gave his own smile and release Clint's chin only for it to droop back down. Clint still tried to look up through his lashes at Loki, but his lids were so heavy and his head was filled with thick cotton. 

"Yes," Loki concluded. "You're ready."

He  _was_ ready. For what, he wasn't sure, but he was fucking ready. Loki waved a hand and the ropes holding Clint up disappeared. A great rush of fear surrounded Clint for only a millisecond before Loki had him caught around the middle, fingers lodging securely against his bleeding lashes. Clint gasped at the pain but then Loki hushed him and pressed his soft lips to Clint's cheek and the archer melted in the god's hold. 

"Come now, my dove. Let's give you what you need," Loki purred and scooped Clint up under his knees to carry him to the bedroom. Clint turned and nuzzled his face into Loki's shoulder, inhaling his scent and allowing it to soothe his frayed nerves. He didn't need to worry anymore; Loki was going to give him what he needed.

He was also glad they were doing this in his room. It was familiar and safe; one less thing to worry about. Plus, after Loki was done with him- after he eventually went home to his real Clint- he could remember this, remember them in here anytime he laid down to go to sleep. He was going to remember this forever.

Loki bent down and gently deposited Clint onto his bed and the archer instantly melted into the comfort of his mattress. He smiled dopily, looking up at Loki and stretching out to take up more of the bed and displaying himself for the god. "Come on," he murmured. "Need you." It was said so quietly that Clint wasn't sure Loki had heard him, but then a low rumble erupted from Loki's throat and Clint's smile spread wider. 

Climbing on the bed between Clint's spread knees, Loki crawled up his body- a panther who has his prey in sight. He ducked down and kissed the inside of Clint's knee, flicking his eyes up to catch the archer's gaze as he ran his lips over the slope of the joint. The muscles under Loki's mouth kept twitching, jumping up to meet them and reaching for more. The anticipation was going to kill him. 

How many times had he envisioned this? How many times had he played this exact scenario out in his head?

Loki let his mouth go slack, his tongue peeking out from between his lips, as he licked up the tender inside of Clint's thigh. Fire follows the path of his dominant's tongue, lighting him up inside. His hands left the cushioned position by his head and reached out for Loki. The god only smirked and stayed just out of reach. "Don't be impertinent," Loki warned and slapped one of Clint's hands away. "I was hoping to allow you to touch me the first time I had you, but if you can't behave, I can always tie you down."

"No!" Clint barked before quickly snapping his mouth shut. "I mean, I can do it. I'll...be good."

Loki rewarded his sub with a chaste peck to his hip. "I know you will." He shifted just a tiny bit inward and left another kiss at the fluffy base of Clint's shaft. Clint's dick twitched next to his cheek, hard and waiting, and he muffled and groan. "In fact," Loki quipped, offhand like he'd just happened to think about it, "I'm so sure that you will be on your very best behavior," he tilted his chin and let his lips glace across Clint's heated length, "that I expect no resistance from my dove. You will do as I say when I say, and in return..." The god licked a long stripe up the full length of him, flicking over the blunt lip of his head. "I will take care of you."

Clint squeezed his eyes shut, begging his body not to betray him and end this too soon. The relief of Loki's words sends electrocuting thrills up and down his spine. After having worked so hard to understand himself, to accept who he is, laying here and hearing that he is going to be rewarded for it is such a shock to his system that he feels perilously close to coming.

"Loki," he begged, hands clenching the bedsheets in his fists. "I'm gonna-"

Loki chuckled and ceased the torturous laps of his tongue, instead, moving up Clint's body to hover over him. "No, you're not," he countered, so sure that Clint instantly believed him. The heat reduced to a shimmer, still riled up but not spilling over. "You're not going to come until I tell you."

Clint swallowed and nodded his agreement. "Okay."

"Very good," Loki murmured and pressed their lips together. His hand trickled from Clint's chest, down his stomach to his cock, only grazing it as he moved down to Clint's tight hole. "I've thought of this every moment of my waking, Barton." When the tip of a finger rubbed over his most sensitive spot, it was slick and warm and, not for the first time, Clint praised...well, Odin, he supposed for Loki's gifts. 

Only when the slick digit pushed in did Loki's words catch up with him. "Really?" he wondered. Of course,  _he'd_  been thinking about it like a mad man for weeks, but Loki always seemed so aloof, off-limits in this respect. 

Loki's lids drooped as he bit down on Clint's tender throat, feeling the vibrations of the archer's groan against his lip as he pushed his finger deeper. "Sincerely," he assured. "When you would submit to me, I longed to take you. You bend so beautifully to discipline." Clint shook his head, mouthing fishing for words that weren't coming. Loki rocked his finger out and back in, starting up an easy rhythm inside his submissive. "You don't agree?" Loki questioned. 

Clint shook his head again. "No...yes. No- just you."

Loki was pulling him open, sliding a second finger in slowly as he took in Clint's flushed face and furrowed brow. "Just me?"

"Only you," Clint agreed. "I only want to bend to you."

"Oh," Loki breathed. He tried to suppress his shock but Clint could see it plain as day. A new rush of vigor flooded into Loki's fingers and he pushed in harder, scissoring him wider and biting down on his shoulder, sucking on the thick bulge of muscle to leave his mark. Clint's head is too fuzzy to spend more than a second worrying if he should have said that before Loki is slithering back down his body and enveloping his aching dick in the god's warm, welcoming mouth. 

Clint gasped and his hips snap up before he can stop them, but he instantly pinned them down and gripped the bed in his hands tighter. "Oh, fuck, Loki." The dark-haired god only hummed in approval and sunk lower. Blowjobs from Loki were his favorite. For such an expecting man, he seemed to truly enjoy giving this pleasure to Clint. 

The archer craned his head up to watch Loki's eyes flutter shut, to watch his cheeks hollow and his shoulders relax. It was one of the only times Clint ever saw Loki be...submissive. Yet even in that, Clint knew to hold still, take what he was given, and thank him for it after. 

His leaking tip brushed the back of Loki's throat and he cried out, keeping himself from spilling down Loki's throat by the skin of his teeth. "Loki, please! I can't." 

Loki popped off with a smug smirk and Clint felt the cool air of his room brush against Loki's spit. He shuddered even as the god laid back over him and kissed him. "I do love to hear you beg."

Clint rolled his eyes. "I'm aware," he stuttered, out of breath but thankfully keeping himself under control. "If I beg you to just get your dick inside, will you?"

With a snarky cough of a laugh, Loki waved a hand and then his thick, slick tip was pressed to Clint's hole. "Try and we shall see."

The submissive man wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulders to keep him close, to bury his own face in Loki's neck because he couldn't look him in the eye and say this. "Please, fuck me, Loki. I promise, I'll be so good for you if you just fuck me."

Loki's hand carded through Clint's hair and he kissed the man's cheek. "Beautiful," he praised and then he was pushing, opening Clint up around him and making room for himself inside Clint's body. Clint moaned, the sound punched out of him, and wrapped the arm around Loki tighter. 

His moan lingered, going high and cracking over the girth of Loki pushing into him, until the god was seated deep inside and laving his face and neck and soft pecks. Clint felt dizzy with how intense this was. It'd been quite a while since he'd bottomed, and never like this. If he felt like he was floating away before, now he was absolutely soaring. Loki pulled back and must've seen the contented bliss plastered on Clint's face because he stroked a reverent thumb across his cheek and whispered on more time, "Beautiful."

When Clint squeezed around Loki, the god pulled out and rocked his hips slowly back in, mimicking the teasing of his fingers earlier. Clint felt every millimeter of skin inching along his walls like Loki was under his skin, in every cell and fiber of him. Loki had somehow infiltrated his body and taken over. It made his heart clench along with his hole. 

Soon, Loki was holding him down, one hand on his chest and the other wrapped leisurely around his throat. He wasn't choking Clint- yet- but the promise that he might made precum drip down Clint's shaft. Loki knew what he was doing, aiming for his prostate and pinching his nipple until Clint was shaking with need. 

"Please," he begged with no qualifiers needed. 

"Tell me what you want. Anything, my dove," Loki acquiesced, fucking him faster. 

Clint felt tears prickle at the corners of his tightly-shut eyes. He was being ripped open, right down the sternum, exposed for Loki to dissect how he pleased. "Can I come?"

Loki growled, deep and rough, before wrapping a hand around Clint's flushed cock. "Of course. Come for me, darling."

Clint's entire body coiled tight, muscles and limbs taut with arousal. "Thank you, thank youthankyou." Loki pressed his thumb into Clint's swollen slit and the archer screamed out, coming over Loki's hand and his own stomach.

He swirled through the air, disappearing into the pleasure of coming on Loki's dick. He was still pulsating around it, pulling Loki into an orgasm of his own, but Clint could barely feel it- couldn't focus enough to- because the god was whispering the most beautiful words into his ear.

Clint didn't realize he was sobbing until Loki wiped away his tears and shushed his gently. "Clint," he cooed. "Come back to me. Come here." He pulled out and wrapped his arms around Clint's shaking form, pulling them together as he settled into the bed under the covers. "I'm right here," Loki reminded as he kissed Clint's hair. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, y'all, this got so much more emotional than I intended. I'm such a schmuck for those two, dammit. Oh, well. Things are really going to start wrapping up soon and I do plan to leave things very open in case I ever get a chance to write a sequel. Until next week...Mwah! Xoxo, Jess

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all. Frosthawk has me shook. I love them as a ship- one of my FAVES in Marvel. I'm really hoping this fic turns out as good as I'm seeing it in my mind. If you all want to see more, TELL ME SO. Comments and votes keep me motivated.
> 
> Mwah! Xoxo, Jess


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